bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №95867
 26.03.2014
The Moscow chief departed. It was so quiet.)
Cat from the house - mice in the dance?
in the dream)

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №95866
 26.03.2014
Remember, I wanted all the bureaucrats to burn in hell?
Well?
I changed my mind. They need to be sent to heaven. But that at the entrance of them, the mill, the documents are not accepted, and sent for completion!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №95865
 26.03.2014
Our civilization will soon fall as Rome fell.
YYY: It’s a feeling when the entire civilization is corrupt and you’re still a virgin.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №95864
 26.03.2014
-- What the technique came to: I got in one of the TC "Automatic instant loans" - a kind of ATM with a passport scanner for issuing loans; as I understood, can lend, can take money for repayment."
Oh oh oh! I have copies of passports. Will go?
The passport is not yours.
and out. There are probably five different copies.
Is it mine?
There is no like yours.
Then it will go.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №95863
 26.03.2014
Here, in our neighboring department, a doctor discharged a patient for violating the hospital regime. It would be nothing, but we have a psychiatric hospital here, for the case.
Not all the humor from psychiatry went into anecdotes, not all...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №95862
 26.03.2014
Have you seen the 111 news in the box?
222 is there. Crimea again
11 of Syria. We showed Syrian roads, there three years of war is going on, and roads as yesterday built! We have no war, and the roads are bombarded.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №95861
 26.03.2014
to this:
From the conversation in the sauna:
"Look, you see scars on the elbow - it was my operation done by my friend, the best surgeon in Russia on the elbows and knees. The Professor. They are all athletes...
It does not hurt, the hand works. In general, he said, we don’t like friends and relatives to do, but it’s okay.
He says he doesn’t need surgery on his knee. I did not think...
I tell him - Well, you have such a department, so many students-masters! You will choose the best...
He’s gone mad for me, you? I will go to Germany...

To drive him out of the professors in the neck... To raise up, to melt the change, the wicked. You put everything under you, the cattle is greedy.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №95860
 26.03.2014
Conversation in the office.
You look like Darth Vader! You also breathe.
YYY: Yes, I want to sleep
ZZZ: Tanya how to sleep??? The Empire is in danger.)
ione1579 (c)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №95859
 26.03.2014
I add :
– – – – –
“Poskypano”
– – – – –
Do not do harm that can be attracted. Throw away a kilogram of ice cream, sooner or later in the apartment of the man will stand such a smell that he will be happy to pull out his refrigerator. (For the reliability of the story, you can drop a kilogram of dead pigeons)
– – – – –
Method of purifying ventilation from housing facilities: a chain of the desired length (about 30 meters) is welded to it, taking a hose of 16 kilograms. The end of the chain is fixed, and the giraffe is thrown into the notorious hole on the roof, cleaning its way on its own. If there is too much chain left after stopping (the gear is stuck before reaching the end goal), then it is pulled out and the drop operation is repeated the necessary number of times.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №95858
 26.03.2014
Comments from Habr:
X: Go away from here.
Y: Not Hami
Z: Noble Don, would you please leave the trade?
Y: Of course

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №95857
 26.03.2014
From comments to the discussion of foreign names and their meanings:

xxx: By the word, met the surname "Nasralvsunduk"
UUU: He is a very economical and domestic man.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №95856
 26.03.2014
The two news:
The People’s Deputy of the Verkhovna Rada Taras Chernovol said that at the press conference in Rostov, not Yanukovych, but a grimmed actor...>>
The first comment:
Valery: Yes, everybody knows that in Rostov there was a Rostov. This is a test for the movie Thank you for living 2))))

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №95855
 26.03.2014
This robot can’t hurt anyone!
Robot – I am beautiful!
The developer, of course.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №95854
 26.03.2014
The Mistaken:

In fact, in the Middle Ages under the armor dressed a steak (looking like a telogreek, filled with a fist), because the armor protects only from cuts and torn wounds, and the main amplitude of the blow is just extinguished on the armor... otherwise all your bones will break and no armor will help you... In our time, beginners reconstructors sometimes wear a pulpit under armor, when it is not enough to buy a normal steak...
*********************************

Nifiga like this, the only correct option - armor on the naked pumped torso.
For girls, there are armor lifts. Hollywood can’t be wrong.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №95853
 26.03.2014
This is:
Oh these office reflexes., going into the kitchen, safely wished a pleasant appetite cat)

Thank you for not wishing me to answer you.
The Cat.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №95852
 26.03.2014
The discussion in the forum of the picture of the contact, in which the girl sells her virginity for an iPhone

X: Virginity costs 30 tyres, and to rebuild it costs 12 tyres, but this is a clone!

Y: I need to tell you, she is a gynecologist. A needle, ketchup and 15 minutes of work = 12,000. not bad!

Z: It is uncomfortable. is unrealistic. I speak to you like a dentist.

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95851
 26.03.2014
Anya K.
Frogs for example. and you. You also know the name of the sister’s sister’s brother.

Eugene M.
Fuck it is called. Not showed for ten years. and how to buy a car, add money - this is the Nate, painted!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №95850
 26.03.2014
Maelinhon: I watched the “Android” thriller, about a terrible app with artificial intelligence that killed people and generally made a mess.
Heroes convulsively changed one smartphone to another, and were terrified - it was already there and had time to kill the seller! O____O
Why, well, why did nobody think of buying some Alcatel 310 and did not turn the thriller into a comedy, contemplating how the unfortunate ARR is trying to get on board a pre-submarine monster, from which you can only call? x )

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №95849
 26.03.2014
Facebook to buy virtual reality helmet manufacturer for $2 billion
XX: You play in the doom, you go to the turn, and there is a cacademon. And here is the pop-up message: "Sergey, do you know howdemon? Want to add to your list of friends?"

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №95848
 26.03.2014
My husband chooses the car. I asked what I wanted, but I don’t understand them at all! He laughed and asked – can I even name one model? I’m on the machine: the 67th year’s Chevrolet Impala... Do you think it burned?

I don’t know if you burned up, but I understand you. Those who drive in this car are uncomfortable. Especially the elderly. ?

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