How did you walk with those turtles?
WOW: Oh her baby it was cool walked and then burned with them in bed lords why am I so cool!!!!! to
What if I shut off the imagination?
I sent him to sit down and shrink :(

The Anti-Advertising :

Do you know you have bacteria in your mouth?
Yes! yes! I brushed my teeth this morning!! to
Let’s check out... O-o, here you see! But it’s not bacteria.
What is this?!!! to
The sperm o_0

The less your position, the more noticeable your absence at work.

Kill me plz
I went to meet my boyfriend’s parents (in another city). At night a dream: I go to the public toilet, and there a aunt, with you, says 10 rubles, I ask her - and this is definitely not a dream? - No, he says, not sleep, I paid the money, I go to the toilet and write. I wake up from the fact that I am lying wet, and the first thought: here is the fool, deceived, just to scratch the money, and only the second thought, that next to my bridegroom and sleep I in the house of his parents! Shoot me please.
__________________________________________________________________________
My grandmother dreamed so badly :D

I go by tram, on the roads there is a toyota, he wants to turn to the left and there the flow does not stop. We stand waiting.
My grandmother is smoking on that side. I looked at it all and dropped the bull and went across the road. The stream has risen. Tojota joyfully waving back escaped from the paths, the tram went with applause, and the grandmother came back to the middle :)

> Unknown (10:07:08 24/06/2009)
> I have a type-off button on the controller from the comp. such a big. Everyone who came first ticked and then asked what the button was.
> Eve (10:07:16 24/06/2009)
> and the computer naturally cut off
> Unknown (10:11:08 24/06/2009)
> then I was overwhelmed, I made it turn off the second time. And now everyone shakes, they see the inscription on the screen "Computer shutdown" and asking "And that it doesn’t shut down", they shut down again!

In short, I go to work today, I see a picture: a crown flies, pulls 4 pieces of sausages! In the nails holds one sausage, the others talk. Behind and just below, a second crown flies and tries to get the last sausage with a clove!
Half a day later. In nature fuel in the air))

Remembering in childhood.
They climbed to the old substation, and played golf from its roof with the help of squads and bricks.And down there was a basketball pitch, there the children whispered from pleasure turning away from the bricks.

Developer of the program:
Gluck, I am your father.

By the way (13:14) :
How is your job? Not too annoying?

MapToBckui_KoT (13:15) :
The prince of Nikita, Vladimirovich, gathered on holiday from July 4th of this year, and your submissive servant will temporarily perform his duties, so that the wasteland will not be empty, and the peasants will not escape.

By the way (13:18) :
I consider it necessary, during the absence of Prince Nikita of the Light Vladimirovich, to tighten the barricades with the peasants (temporary) and barbaric orders to be introduced. At the end of the prince's rest, let his holops love him more than before!

MapToBckui_KoT (13:19) :
And you, the brightest prince, haven’t gotten a family yet?

By the way (13:23) :
Fortunately, God took me away from the witch who, by deceit and deceit, as well as by pretending to be a wise and beautiful virgin, wanted to bear from me and to give birth, to walk in my wives. But my eyes opened in time, and my heart rejected her.

Do you also like to unfold crab sticks, thus turning them into crab sticks?)

There are pirates in our country. For ten minutes I’ve been sitting there listening to a guy, instead of translating into a naughty, hanging over a comedy.

SPAM: I am not spam.
Unbeliever: Yes I Believe

A very real letter arrived in our online store:

Dear fellow suppliers!
03:29 Order has been issued.
It was not just an order.
That was my order.
He even had a number.
and 3496.
This order you promised to bring yesterday.
I wonder if I missed something important in the 30s.
We all pray to our Lord Jesus Christ that the courier was not struck by the evil opposition (I did not see them, but I was told!) I did not spy on my order.
Please tell me what is happening?
Is the planet doomed?
Will no one stop Satan’s measurable action?! to
Does anyone tell me about the fate of the order 3496?! to
– is
for possible inconvenience. Sincerely yours. With immortal love. man-made order 3496."

Oh... everybody would write like that, you look, working would be more fun :)

We had a guy at the institute named Halyava. So when he was called on the exam, half the audience jumped up.

The dream of being carried on our arms is most often fulfilled when
We are taken to the cemetery!

The Russian Harvard

It was not last year.
International Programming Conference for Young Graduate Students
The provincial institute made a great report.
After the official part, everyone gathered together, as is the case at the banquet, where no
Our people pretended to drink, and our people followed Russian traditions.
One happy American woman who never has big white teeth
He hid, approached a very subordinate graduate student and said (further my
Free translation from English):
I like your methods, I will tell your colleagues about them.
and Harvard!
As I understood, he hardly understood anything from her speech, because
He learned his report.
He stood, looked at her and kept silent.
She decided to support the conversation and asked, so I understand, worrying about
The future report:
Where did you study? Not at Harvard.
He looked at her and suddenly cried:
In the Huarvard!
And went away.
I almost drowned with cognac. She turned to me and asked.
Surprisedly :
It sounds like a name, but I had never heard of such a university!
I had to get out and I improvised:
The closed city of Irkutsk-52. Only the Russians go there.
She sneered and left.
Imagine my horror when I saw that she was heading towards us.
The academy!
With a sweet smile, she approached him and said:
And I know - where the strongest Russian programmers are trained!
The academic smiled, probably thinking that he would be called the institute. and here she
He gave the crown:
In the Huarvard!
To say that the academic has changed - nothing to say. He just slept with
The faces.
But she confidently smiled, touched his hand and got him to her own.
of observation:
Your face has changed. Per your graduate students accidentally issued a military certificate.
The story of Irkutsk-52.
He could only say:
I will talk to them tomorrow.

P.S The next day, everyone knew everything. The Academic Council began
He spoke loudly, but did not stand the tone and laughed. The thunderstorm was standing in
Room 5 minutes.
The question was no longer raised.

- Rabinovich, do you know where to rest cheaply this year?
I know on the couch.

What if you say "no" when you get married?

News on Rambler:
Moscow schoolgirl robbed for 650 thousand rubles