bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №95989
 29.03.2014
On the subject of abbreviations and abbreviations of names of subjects in the institute. I studied at a technical university, so we somehow got a subject - JESUS (information and measurement systems for the management of stands).

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №95988
 29.03.2014
My husband was travelling to Luca. I ask: Did you bring me a hotel? Without any hope, I ask, just so, clean air to shake. He is like that once! Hand in pocket. He got a bucket from there and gave it to me.
Today is March 8th, please note.
A loving man will always find something for you in his pocket, because he thinks of you when he collects cloves and when he sings songs.
To the question "what do you do?" I refuse to answer. must be!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №95987
 29.03.2014
XXX: I immediately made the conclusion
Yyy: The fan you see I Yoda
zzz: “Yodi Master’s worshiper you see me.” If you speak the Jedi language, follow the norms of the language.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №95986
 29.03.2014
What can I do with the perforator every Saturday? Do they do holes in the house?
2: Do the repair. They have an interior design in the style of Masdaam cheese :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №95985
 29.03.2014
It takes about an hour to get to space. I’m going to go to work :-(

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №95984
 29.03.2014
Tesla installs a titanium shield and aluminum detachers on the Model S bottom:
“We are confident that these changes will also help prevent fires in extremely high-speed collisions where the car can break off the wheels, as happened during another fire last year in Mexico:
The incident occurred after a car at a speed of 180 kilometers per hour entered the circular circuit, rolled out 5 meters of a concrete detector and lost the left front wheel, and then broke a two-meter concrete fence on the other side of the road, losing the right wheel, and then crashed into a tree. The driver was able to get out of the car and leave the accident site independently without serious injuries, and the fire, as in other cases, limited to the front of the car, began in a few minutes.

Sarah, and those people missed something else.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №95983
 29.03.2014
Post on Facebook:
I like everything in macs, but fucking, there’s a calculator somewhere?

One of the comments:
You can also count in the column - the pencil tm washes well with aluminum MacBook'a

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95982
 29.03.2014
Eugene asks in the book.
A book with poses and
Similar to Kamasutra
In order to be alone

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №95981
 29.03.2014
It is important to think about the right choice of profession :)

— — — —

As my Batya-electric says, there are three degrees of friendship with the technology: you do not understand it and are afraid, you understand it and are confident that it will work smoothly, and you understand it so much that you have at least two spare copies.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №95980
 29.03.2014
I have not heard any jokes about the wolf in school lately. Finally

The boy learned. and c)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №95979
 29.03.2014
I am such a bad person that even my Patronus is a dementor.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №95978
 29.03.2014
About the confidence.
I walked into a shop. I saw there cocos wrapped in a food film, I think I’ll take one. I started choosing, shake one, the other, the third - there is no milk inside. Then I had to look around and leave, and all because it was written "Sevla" on the bill. No one has seen me in that act.

[ + 54 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95977
 29.03.2014
Hotel in Granada, Spain. Of the Russians only we and my mother and daughter. The daughter speaks very tolerantly English, her mom only speaks Russian, a typical Cuban granddaughter aunt, a weight center, a chest-sponge, a voice like a valkyrie.
There were some Germans in the room at night. All the neighbors went to them in turn to reassure, at the request of the port, they quieted for a maximum of ten minutes, all the neighbors on the floor in turn went to reassure, then spit on the matter. The Cuban ladies have returned. After knocking on the door, I think the German tint was squeezed, then in the open door was said by the voice of a Jericho tube with a Cuban accent: Shadap! Sit in style! The sleepless! Good is found! On this, apparently, the stock of English words was exhausted, because the lady added: Blade!" and went to the room. No one has heard of the Germans.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95976
 29.03.2014
About about:
Gathered in IMAX - IMAX closed to finish.
I decided to buy a phone - it was the desired company that stopped working with Russia.
I’m going to the Baikal and I’m praying.
– – – – –
Comrades, let’s go to the man for a visa and a ticket to the United States.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №95975
 29.03.2014
XH: My instructor said:"I profess the ideas of pacifism. It is better to kill with bare hands."
xxh: It’s not the fact that pacifism has that meaning, but the phrase I remembered.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №95974
 29.03.2014
The American Anna Karenina was unexpectedly liked.
Karina is a Negro?
Zzz: In our time, a woman is, thank God. and :)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №95973
 29.03.2014
This is who thought of bringing to the Russian market a German brand of clothes with the name "Ulla Popken"? Who, I ask you?
c) so_wa

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №95972
 29.03.2014
Games containing scenes of violence
Phoenix o_0 (ITC) :: It is not games that provoke cruelty, but the glutes in them.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №95971
 29.03.2014
The Storyteller
— — —
I’m going to work today, a guy comes in front of me and talks on the phone: “I bought my fifth iPhone, now I call him.” He failed to negotiate and slipped and fell. As a result, the iPhone crashed: the screen crashed and covered with cracks, the battery crashed and some more inside.
Conclusion: it is bad to talk on a expensive smartphone and not look under your feet.
— — —
Either you have a Chinese phoneless guy, or you have a stormy fantasy.
The iPhone screen can not fall off, because it is wrapped with screws to the aluminum frame
The battery of the iPhone is glued into the body throughout the area, its replacement requires little effort, so that it could not fall out precisely from the fall.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №95970
 29.03.2014
Quote: "Cut off employees access to anime sites "I’m here Sisadmin and no nash-meash and the like I won’t allow"

(>°-°)> ┳━━┳ DID, xso! ( ╯°□°)╯ ┻━━┻

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