bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148769
 03.02.2018
I will not say for Ukraine, and Tajikistan, for example, in the Soviet years received general literacy, electrification, modern medicine, developed infrastructure, higher and professional education, agricultural machinery and factories... which in the years of the newly gained independence were safely robbed and destroyed, and still cannot be restored. The company said that this year the central heating system was repaired. In the capital. In 20 years. Comrades, there is something to be proud of. Was it not so bad for Russia?

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №148768
 03.02.2018
The bull in the Moscow Zoo did not wake up on the day of the bull
In the Petersburg Zoo cancelled events dedicated to the day of the surgeon, because the local surgeon died.

Congregatio: I understand that spring will come in July.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №148767
 03.02.2018
When I started living with a guy, my cat didn’t like the idea at all. He attacked his legs, kicked him out of the couch, sat down at my knees and pushed him off with his leg. The guy to the cat too was cool, he did not like animals very much. The time passed, the cat accepted, stopped choking, then began to murmur him sometimes, even on his knees came to him. And then, a year later, the guy lies on the couch, suffering from the desire to go to smoke, but does not get up, because the cat hugs me by the foot, suddenly I will leave, he will be offended and will no longer hug me. He appears to be converted to our faith.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148766
 03.02.2018
The Nurse's Story

Surprisingly, no one has made such a claim before.
I picked up a girl on Sunday. Wen practically no, stunned to squeeze from the first time, dropped... The next day again dropless, squeezed 5 times... The next day the same... Mother is going to complain to me that I did not provide the child with full help, because of the problem. I made only one piercing instead of six, as in the following days.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148765
 03.02.2018
On one forum once introduced a matte filter with a full auto replacement. This became clear from the fact that one day the users began to send each other exclusively “a flower” and suspiciously often use the word “bika” in different contexts.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148764
 03.02.2018
I wait for a taxi, the first-floor window opens and a boy with a girl, preschoolers, knock the whole drum on the window and scream:
Chip by Chip!! Around no one.
And there are pigeons flying, probably not for the first time.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148763
 03.02.2018
"The Complex of Right"
Girl, I’m not afraid, but really, there’s such a thing as a dictionary. No one is forced to record everything. But a couple of successful records and your mother in any will be in something to tick her nose.
Previously, I was also angry when I heard from friends/co-workers/co-workers something like “I told you” or “I told you something, not this.” But the program writing ALL the phone calls literally removed this problem in a couple of months. Really, hearing "I can turn on the record" a person taught by a bitter experience immediately merges. and ;)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148762
 03.02.2018
xxx: Yes, he "Faust" in memory in the original quotes!
yyy: You say it in the original as if it was not written in German, but in Sumerian.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148761
 03.02.2018
Destruction of culture, language

and ohrenel? The Soviet diary does not knock you, where are the annual assessments separately on Russian and native languages and literature? There are special columns! Or do you say that this is a fake and the paper is artificially aged? From the skin out, so that you and your roots did not lose, and could quietly ride around the Union without an interpreter and look at you in a new place as a mumbo-yumbo. All for your sake, only to learn from this Gopnik grief, that we have real boys here in Zasraevka, and behind the river in Dristaevka all the pydors, there and steal not west, but a feat, and struggle the wall on the wall is not a crime. Fuck that night! I relaxed and started again. A quarterly mentality. Sometimes it seems that if you were not in the world at all, then all the other people could always agree.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148760
 03.02.2018
The correct algorithm:
1 Shooting
2nd Overloaded
Dedicate the lamp and ask "who is here?"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №148759
 03.02.2018
Called from Chevrolet Dealer.
We haven’t seen your car in service for a long time. Is it on the road or is it wintering in the garage?
It’s winter in the garage.
When will you bring her back on the road?
I do not know
And who knows?
by Phil
Do you have his phone?
Surfers usually don’t have mobile phones.

Pause on the other side of the line.

and A! has arrived! I will call back in spring.

With a celebration, you!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148758
 03.02.2018
XXX: Take away and do not ruin a person's life. If he is just degrading next to you, then something is missing in you. You are not for him.

YYY: What kind of men we have are not independent. They cannot degrade themselves.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №148757
 03.02.2018
xxx> Many in Santa Claus believe quite seriously and in adulthood))
yyy> 3.5" discette is actually 3.54"
xxx> Do not eat, you are lying ((((

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №148756
 03.02.2018
and there. I write a list to my husband "how much you can ask". I approach, silently giving with an angry face. He surprisingly looks at the list and says, “You’re serving like a chelobite king!”

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148755
 03.02.2018
On the stage falls a squad of sailors in shaped flannelows with guise collars.
The daughter:
The Japanese schoolgirls.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148754
 03.02.2018
xxx: I have here under the main menu advertising "exotic fish massage". So the picture arises: you are lying on a massager's table, that is, it smells like it, it smells like it... and then you start to crack on your back with frozen shrimp!! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148753
 03.02.2018
When I was about four years old, my father approached me and said, "Go tell my mom something nice," I ran to my mom and said:

“Mommy, you have such beautiful eyes, (Mommy begins to cuddle) like a begemot!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148752
 03.02.2018
I am a major of the reserve of one of the force structures. Despite the red diploma of Mehmat, I don’t remember the square discriminant formula.
The equations. I remember the lemma about the inserted balls, but the discriminant formula is not. If you eat and start writing, then it is possible that the hand will pull out all these four, the squares, the quarters in the right sequence, but I don’t remember.
I do not argue with them, I think and talk to them. My dreams are only in Matt.

Therefore, such a polite child is clearly not a product of education. It is DNA.

I pulled him yesterday at seven in the morning after a daily heavy snowfall on the snow-sweetened celery in the garden. We are late. He fails every step. It Pushes. It suffocates. He pulls me by the sleeve with his free hand and says quietly:

"Papa, I don’t like snow a bit"

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №148751
 03.02.2018
and Taxi.

I went to the cafe for coffee. I buy American I sit, drink, read a book. Suddenly, from a state of pleasant restlessness, I am knocked out of the window. I see, there is a certain pair and starts to rub me the standard speech that they stole him can not leave. The phone sells to get enough money. I get a phone. The Samsung S7 is similar. Even is included. I think you can still do little work and have fun.

Where do you need it at all?

- Yes, I went to Samara here for business, and in the tram was stolen.

Oh you are. I am from Samara. I have never seen you there. Have you recently settled there?

A little bit of sublimation. After a few seconds, the dialogue continued.

Well recently though.

Okay, don’t go out. We help you. I have a friend working at the station. He will give you a ticket. Sit down and go.

I bought my phone and I also got my passport. I need to return my passport to my ticket.

How did you get your passport back here? It is only possible in the place of residence. And it is dangerous at all. I went to the police. You will write the statement. suddenly on your passport have already taken 10 loans and three companies opened. Sit on. They went. The lie is not far away.

No, I wrote it all right now. Buy a phone. Sold for just 7,000. He is new. There are even documents.

Listen to. The idea is even better. Let me take you to Samara for the phone. You are normal and me. They did not benefit you. How long will you run here? Restore the passport. Home and walls help. You will get your passport back and lose less money.



The guy literally pulls my phone out of my hand. begins to wash all kinds of unrelated shit that the type does not need, he will do everything himself does not want to buy so do not need and bumping something under his nose goes and dissolves in the crowd. He doesn’t seem to be in a hurry home.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №148750
 03.02.2018
Context advertising is contextual.
I watched on cooking websites recipes of steam coatlets. Now Yandex carefully offers me to buy steam boilers.
How cute.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna