To a boy who has cancer, a teacher comes home. He has two chemicals a day.

Yyy: God, I’ve gotten dark in my room from your black humor.

He enters the night in the duty of challenges. On the phone, you can directly hear how the mother in despair brushes her hands and rubs her hair. She says, she said, her daughter is missing, her dear little girl.

The guard begins with one hand to record the call, with the other hand to give instructions on raising everyone on the alarm for the care of the minor, with the third hand to pick up the phone of the person in charge of the city, the fourth...

“The daughter has come,” says the mother, “has left the dog and has gone somewhere at night, and does not answer the phone calls.

“Where,” the officer asked, “have you come from?

So she walked out of her apartment, they lived in a row, smashed the dog and went to his business. He says to walk.

The official image begins to fade.

How do you say from your apartment? Do you live separately?

My mother answers, she lives with her husband. And with the dog.

In the duty apopee-apopheosis, with one hand cancels the alarm for the care of the child, with the other hand calls the number of the person responsible for the city, the third... In any case, sends the investigative-operative group to the challenge.

As a result, we have a lady who, under the pretext of walking with a dog, left the faithful to rest at home. The dog, after the passage of necessity, dropped on the way of the mother and with a calm soul went to the lover.

At first, actually removed from the man, the lady angrily whispered to the police officers who arrived. Later, upon the arrival of the mother, husband and dog, it calms down. Through tears and tears we take the explanations from everyone and go to wait for further exits.

There was no morality, total immorality and adultery.

The famous German pathologist Rudolf Virchow was once asked what is the difference between the professions of a doctor and a lawyer. He immediately replied, “Doctors have less income. In fact, lawyers receive honorary, both from the living and from the dead, and doctors only from the living.

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The Exam - 1

One day, at the exam, Virchow asked the student to list various funds. He began to list various means, but Virchow was all dissatisfied with the answers, arguing that all this may not help. Then the student burned:

“In that case, Mr. Professor, I have only one thing left: send the patient to you for an examination.”

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The Exam – 2

Virchow asked the student what to do with acute pain in the kidneys. He responded quickly:

“First of all, to relieve the pain, I would give him morphine.”

Virchow replied to him: “Excellent! What is the dose?”

The student said, “Polgram...”

Virchow continued, “And what will you do with the corpse?”

P.S. By the way, the favorite question of our rector at the pharmacology exams.

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The Exam - 3

Virchow loved to ask unexpected questions at exams. One student asked:

“Where am I going to get if I open this place with a knife?” – is

He touched the student’s chest. He calmly replied:

“In jail, Sir Professor.”

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The Exam - 4

One of the students, Virchov asked, "What would you do if you were addressed with a twisted jaw?"

He thought a little and replied, "Sometimes a good result gives an unexpected and strong blow to the twisted jaw."

Virchow continued, “And what are you going to do next?”

The student replied, “Then I’ll move a little away so I don’t get a response.”

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One day a young man came to Virchov who wanted to be his assistant:

“Mr Professor! I’ve been told you’re a rough jerk, but I’m so interested in your research that I’m ready to be a little bit of a jerk next to that jerk!”

Virchow cried, and then said, "Your words testify to the great courage that is needed in our profession. I will take you as a helper.”

I will tell the story of myself, why I have not left anything anywhere since then. It was in 1993, a week later, the issue, and I, a young junior lieutenant of the medical service, are drawing up a container on the Tomsk-Chernyakhovsk (Kaliningrad region) route. At the time, the passes were not given directly, the Union disintegrated recently, and I received a bunch of them: Tomsk-Red, Red-Gudogai, Gudogai-Nesterov, Nesterov-Chernyakhovsk, Lithuanian, Belarusian and Russian sides. At 9 o’clock, I come to the customs, I start the turnaround procedure, then, yes... A truck with a crane and a container on the platform has already arrived, stands. While running - lunch, at 13.00, but we had it all, there was only a signature and a stamp. The customs officer says, leave, say, documents with me, after lunch come. I’m happy, I’m coming at four o’clock and he’s not there. I say where? And you know, he went on a business trip to Novosibirsk, colleagues answer. I sat down on my ass and thought the train is leaving tomorrow, fuck me! Documents in the safe, this shit in Novosibirsk, what to do?! In general, with tremendous effort, filling my way with chocolate and champagne, I rearranged, but since then I have never left anything even for a minute. So far, the rule has not failed.

Lendrover - wood supplier in the Leningrad region

Juha

This story was told to me by an Armenian friend. It began at the cemetery. There are hundreds of tombstones with different dates of birth and one date of death. Seventh December of a thousand nine hundred eighty-eighth year, when a furious element destroyed the city in a few seconds.

Among all these tombs decorated according to all the customs of people, there is one without a cross, a star or a photo. There is no name on it, only the name "Jude". Once a week, two people come to her: a silent man of forty with a wealth of whiskers and a young woman, whom the companion calls Mowgli. A friend managed to talk to the couple and in the nearest cafe they told who Zhouja was.

The dog was called the garden dog. Nobody's house, with a pretty bad character. She did not touch the inhabitants of the yard, but could easily pull a guest for the caviar. Of course, swinging in front of this tail so that the person relaxed and turned away. Give Zhouzh at least external beauty and exterior, maybe someone took it for themselves. But the dog was like an eternal barrel, with tearful eyes and cracks of shaved wool.

Zhouji's main occupation was crawling, digging in the laundry and attracting crowds of fans, of the same unrepresentable appearance. She brought the puppies in the basement and while they were there, even the rough sanitary workers were afraid to go down there. The only ones that Zhouja never touched, although she could have crushed, were children. When the little girl had completely taken care of the dog, she cried and went to the basement.

The Saryan family lived on the first floor of a panel nine-story building. Mother, father and children: 10-year-old Ruben and one-year-old Lala. The boy always tried to pull something from the table and feed Zhou. It seemed right to him. However, she did not suffer from hunger and cried contemptuously for bread. Although the chicken bones, fish or catlet was not refused.

Lala's mother walked in a wheelchair and did not approach the dog, although the girl pulled her fingers. The perception of the interesting in children and adults is fundamentally different.

At the end of the autumn, Zhouja managed to bring the puppies and appeared in the yard only in search of something to eat. The winter of that year was rarely cold and early, so the dog spent more time in the basement under the heating pipes, licking out the puppies and thinking about their difficult dog thoughts.

On the 6th of December, she fell asleep, feeling bad. But people, as usual, did not pay attention to the courtyard. If you do not consider the attention of the wound of the yardman and the land thrown into it. And on the 7th of December the earth herself went mad of hatred for the living. The panel house formed like a pyramid of domino bones. The dog noticed in panic, but the outlet was blocked by a fallen plate. Another fragment of the second cut off the screaming of frightened puppies.

One plate fell. There was a desperately rising stump — a child. The dog rushed to him and pulled the cockroaches into a distant corner across the door. Either this is luck, or the dogs know much more than we think, but just that corner has stood. The cover did not collapse. Lila, and that was she, was crying out of fear. Zhouja laid it on the wattlet abandoned by some of the builders and clung to her. The dog’s warm body warmed and calmed the child. They began to wait. Not understanding exactly what.

Fortunately, there was water in the basement, a thin jet it flowed from a broken heating radiator. The dog fed the baby with its milk. After all, let it be a strange puppy, but it is a puppy and it needs to be fed and cared for.

They spent four days under the dam. When Zhuja heard human voices, she swung. How could she explain that it was yours? It is not the dog that must be saved, but the man. The rescuers heard and regretted the dog, but they did not have to choose between saving people or the dog. Zhouja felt that people would soon leave and did something she had never done in her life – bit Lala slightly.

He heard a child’s cry. And they succeeded. At first, without understanding, they wanted to kill the dog. Zhouja was so weary of hunger that she could not even resist. She saved the puppy.

Rustam jumped past the rescuers, the boy was on the street during the earthquake and therefore did not die. He thought he was left alone in the white. My sister survived. The guy realized that she had made a courtyard, and covered it with himself. So a dog appeared in the Saryan family. Grandmother and grandfather welcomed Zhao. She had to go through an unpleasant procedure of washing and haircuting.

Zhuja lived in their family for another twelve years. And when she died, her conscience did not allow her brother and sister to just bury her in the desert. Even if not by all the rules, but Zhou was buried at the cemetery and who will say that she defiles this holy land?

by Roman Udarcev

A five-year-old boy reads a tale about the king.
I want five wives too. One will cook, the other will sing, the third will bathe me.
And one will put you to sleep.
I will always sleep with you!
My mother’s eyes were filled with tears.
May God bless you, my son! But who will sleep with your five wives?
Sleep with Daddy!
Dad’s eyes were filled with tears.
May God bless you, son.