bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 69 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №55948
 04.11.2011
d0lboiob: Something annoys me about the last sentence in his letter...
S is!What did he write?
d0lboiob: “If the alternative, better... I generally consider the second system to be relevant. There are good options for calculating the remaining goods.”
S is!: And what?
d0lboiob: And now, children, read the first letters of each word...

[ + 42 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №55947
 04.11.2011
I watched some anime, where the brother met his sister, they fell in love with each other, but they could not have sex, because it was incest, moral foundations, all the business... So the whole anime continued, and in the end they slept. This is )))
WOW: You just described the plot 70% of all anime in the world *rofl*

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №55946
 04.11.2011
I don’t drink every Friday.
You just don’t remember them all!

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №55945
 04.11.2011
XXX: I went to photography. It has seven horizons.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №55944
 04.11.2011
XXX: the mine has a 29.9 cm baby!
Do you work in Eldorado?

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №55943
 04.11.2011
Putnik: Some girls like pistas that are hard to open, and inside are empty.

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №55942
 04.11.2011
Leda: Yesterday, his son pretended to be dead in front of a 5-year-old nephew, he cried 5 seconds, took his iPhone and fled

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №55941
 04.11.2011
A red hat, absolutely naked, rolls in the forest under a tree. The wolf goes by:
Are you afraid that the worst things can happen to you in the forest?
“Well, I’m waiting for that,” the red hat blinked cleverly.
I understand! The wolf said and broke her leg.

Selenium: a sad anecdote
Do you feel sorry for her?
I don’t understand the wolf.

[ + 63 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №55940
 04.11.2011
XHHH: I have a bunch of old games from file exchangers. Once a banner comes out with a roaring girl in eastern clothes and a knot in her hand (I suspect this knot should symbolize the belly dance - but it looks disgusting). On the banner is the inscription: "kill boredom!". I have never read it correctly.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №55939
 04.11.2011
Call to Sapphire:

Hello, the internet is gone!
yyy: Sorry, technical problems on the line, the cable dog bites...
(The long silence
XXX: I sympathize with the cowboy... And the internet will be repaired?

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №55938
 04.11.2011
Two girls come to the hostess asking for a place in the chicken room, but put them in the smoking room.

[ + 59 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №55937
 04.11.2011
XXX: We have fun at work on Skype. and aska. And everything else. They say - to avoid all kinds of viruses and hacking attacks.
We will not polish the floor, we will cut off your legs.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №55936
 04.11.2011
xxx (14:40:42 3/11/2011)
90% of people turn on the computer with their thumb.
yyy (14:41:02 3/11/2011)
LOL Yes Yes
xxx (14:41:12 3/11/2011)
We are in majority *ROFL*
yyy (14:41:13 3/11/2011)
The remaining 10 laptops.
yyy (14:41:16 3/11/2011)
LOL *
xxx (14:41:19 3/11/2011)
and ROFL

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №55935
 04.11.2011
The logic of our grandmothers.
In the morning, I go out to smoke on the balcony, the grandmothers are sitting on the bench at the bottom, the neighboring garbage entrance was stopped by the guys of friends, as it turned out to check the documents.
1st grandmother: again something was done by the hooligans, probably someone was robbed.
“Yes, I heard a fight yesterday. They were fighting!
3rd grandmother: yesterday on the news told the car stolen from us in the area, all of these clashes are doing what got.
A neighbor passing by:
That it happened here?
The grandmother:
The car was stolen!!! to
A little bit of shit from the balcony did not fall out of laughter)))

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №55934
 04.11.2011
Katerina
What a status I had!!! to

Ilya
Is this question?

Katerina
Yes to?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №55933
 04.11.2011
Good roles are always given to bad actors.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №55932
 04.11.2011
Once Nikita Vladimirovich Bogoslovsky asked the outstanding radio speaker of the times of the Great Patriotic War, Yuri Levitan, the same.
The Levitano, for whose head Hitler promised huge money, the same Levitano, about whom during the war was a joke: they ask.
by Stalin:
“Comrade Stalin! When will the war end?” “Levitan will say.”
So, asks Levitan Nikita Vladimirovich to draw something on a piece of paper. He says he has never been able to paint in his life.
Well, paint at least a house, because it’s so simple!
In short, he persuaded him, persuaded him, and Levitan surrendered.
I painted the house, the smoke comes from the pipe. Such a primitive, childish painting. Nikita Vladimirovich took this painting, put it in a frame under the glass, hanged it at his house and with everyone who came to him in the house, on something argued that this was the real Levitan.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №55931
 04.11.2011
Once the education reform is completed, any reforms can be carried out.
No one will understand anything any more.

[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №55930
 04.11.2011
It may not be funny, but something prompted me to write this. Anyone who was born in the late 1980s remembers the stages of advertising for toothbrushes.
At first, there were ordinary brushes. Later, they invented a toothbrush. Then the brushes appeared curves, harmony, because of which they better bended and allegedly continued (all remember the advertisement with a man pushing his fist 180 degrees?). They were replaced by brushes with a cross-cut, which should capture even more plaque. Next we have brushes with an additional rubber scarf that "massages" the gums. Then on the other side of the brush appeared a rubber plate that cleans the tongue and cheeks. Well, it’s all over with “silver ions” that defeat microbes on brushes. I am ashamed that I once believed it. Marketing, such as marketing.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №55929
 04.11.2011
A combination of female logic with a conditional reflex... My former chief philologist, and not just a philologist, but a descendant, in the fourth,, generation. The majority of my life I have lived in my homeland, so although I know Russian and I know Russian well, I sometimes make mistakes in my conversation. And the same mistakes he pointed to me so sensitively. I was angry (although he was right, and unpleasant yet, agree?I corrected, tried to be more attentive... Now, if I spit something like that, I corrected myself, and... I was reflexively angry with the former boss, although I hadn’t seen him for more than a year.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna