bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №143864
 13.08.2017
Gathered somewhat young and promising in a friendly and dynamic team, and how let us learn easily and purposefully!

The joke, of course, they ate stupidly, and that’s all.
Then in the social network, the group was opened "Expert Experts" and let us love each other and repost!

As a result, although a non-traditional orientation, but still a cell of society.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №143863
 13.08.2017
I went to the site to see how much it costs. In the payment section it was written, “Once we even tried to pay 25 cents each with recyclable bottles. Can you imagine how much is a bottle for 100 euros? Payment is only accepted in cash"

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №143862
 13.08.2017
Any organism whose genetic code is modified compared to its ancestor is genetically modified simply by definition. So you and I are GMOs. Without any Monsanto.

YYY : I know. A small protein container with a clot, carrying 50% of the genes of the future genetically modified organism, penetrates into the parent organism, overcomes the protection of the cell, which will give birth to a new organism, forcibly introduces foreign genes into its nucleus, after which the cell begins to divide, generating an ever-increasing number of new cells infected with foreign DNA, which eventually form a new, genetically modified organism.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №143861
 13.08.2017
If you are well, continue to be patient.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №143860
 13.08.2017
In the early 90s, my parents transferred me to a college that was formed on the basis of a local politician, education began with the 8th grade and in the 1st year there were no problems, schoolchildren-botanists got into their paradise. Under the college gave the whole floor of the main universe, students were offended by the school too much difference and again in the universe studied mostly the same botanists, teachers were excellent, part of the subjects were conducted by universe teachers. But in the "light" head of the crowned horno came the idea that it is necessary to transfer the college to a regular school, because you do not understand this by standards, there is no school dining room and the gym is too big. We were taken and transferred to a school on the outskirts of the city, to a regular school, only we studied in the second shift, about how we got there and there from the whole city this is a separate song. The lessons ended at the same time as the work of adults at 17.00, and sometimes later at 18.30, and teenagers threatened to storm overcrowded trolleybuses with at least ripped clothes and exhausted shoes. But the most “fun” was that the local high school students and birds loved to have fun with the “smart guys” as they called us, we were not local and there was no one to join us + we usually had money to travel. By the end of the class, a crowd of 15-20 people gathered outside the gym, taking our pennies or beating just for fun, those who had lessons until 18.30 in the winter left the school already in the dark.
They could go to school on a change and beat a couple of people just like that. Parents complained to the director, appealed to the police, but without any reason, a couple of people were put on the register in the children's room of the police and all.
I was quite tall for my age at 14 years already 180 cm and quite thin, respectively standing out, several times I was pulled out of the crowd and beaten silently without asking for money, just to intimidate others, I tried as much as I could to repel (do judo), but usually it only disappointed the others. My mother complained to my father, (my father was a military officer, captain of the RWSN), he saw that I was in the blues, but said that I needed to do exercise and train and said everything would be okay, for the boys to fight normally.
As soon as I was stuck in the corridor at the last change of 12 people and melted my legs so that I broke my nose and arm, the hospital also discovered a brain shock. After a couple of days, my dad took me to the police, we wrote a statement, the investigator told my father that they would not do anything anyway, because minors, if they were killed or murdered, would then be sent to the colony, and so it is just children's dismantling. My father asked me about what was happening, quietly silenced and said that he would find out. He went to the director of the school and our classroom, of course, without reason. Then I talked to the parental committee, with the same result.
I only know about further from the words of my classmates since I was in the hospital. In the evening, 3 lightheads came to the school with dirt-trapped numbers, from where 12 people came out in military uniform but without signs of distinction, with crooked faces and soldiers' belts cut off the schoolchildren's cheeks, slapped their pins from their legs and strapped their belts for 5 minutes. Then we sat in the cars and left. A week later it repeated. And then again. The third time I already saw it with my own eyes, in general, I was not surprised to recognize the silhouette of my father with a belt in his hands... After the third time at the school, a policeman’s bowl began to shut down and everything was silent. The next year we were transferred to the universe building again.
P.S The bird that broke my nose I met on the river on May 1, 5 years later, only weighed I at that time not 63 kilos, but 90 and was already kms.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №143859
 13.08.2017
Maturity is when you agree with a person, even if he is wrong a thousand times, just so that he finally closes his mouth.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №143858
 13.08.2017
XXX: There were times. As a child, I tried to load the DUM onto the spectrum by connecting a magnet with a CD player and putting a disc with a game that I took from a friend.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №143857
 13.08.2017
Xxx: If I don’t understand the joke, is it bad?
Zzzz: That means you still need to degrade.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №143856
 13.08.2017
Vote for LGBT people!
You are Tiffany. by LDPR.
Late, I voted the first.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №143855
 13.08.2017
I choose a toy for a friend’s child. A couple are watching table games. The further dialogue:
D: I will not play table games with you!
Q: Why is it?? to
A: I will divorce.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №143854
 13.08.2017
1: Before you decide to fuck the passport, in advance, bleat, register on the public service portal, which will greatly simplify the quest with recovery.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №143853
 13.08.2017
The cats

And in the evening she left the children alone and rushed to our bedroom - to take me and my sister out!

...I had to get out of the house, ran after me with screams and called to the place, to the other cats)

The cat used me as a kindergarten. In the morning, she brought the adult kittens under the door of the shelter and left. And I fed them all day, entertained them, slept well.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №143852
 12.08.2017
...that is, there is a huge state institution with salaries strictly according to the TC and a wicked IT department consisting of two illiterate enikeys for every thousand employees, this is a small shell of the office? The original...

If instead of administrators - illiterate enikeys, then there is a suspicion that other employees of the same quality. What is it then if not a crap office? The big truth...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №143851
 12.08.2017
The Odwalla company, which produced unpasteurized natural juices, was at the heart of a scandal when in 1996 67 people were poisoned with its products, one of whom died. The apple juice contained a pathogenic strain of the intestinal stick. But the rejection of pasteurization (one-time heating of a liquid in order to kill microbes) was used as a marketing move aimed at lovers of “natural food”.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №143850
 12.08.2017
She won’t let me there. Because in this case, she will have to take her grandson to the garden! And a non-working mom can’t do that, just because, even though he is in the neighboring house. Nanyu was strictly forbidden. It is expensive.

What fucking magic - your mom decides where to work for you and whether to hire a babysitter - means you are incapable. You could reproduce, right?
The mystery...

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №143849
 12.08.2017
Yyy: They are there again about oatmeal, little unfortunate engineers :-)
Because you are wrong, Uncle Fedor, you eat sandwiches.
The right oatmeal is cooked on milk in the microwave in 5 minutes. During this time we cook coffee, cut cooked meat, open a bowl of strawberries and the problem of smoothness and taste is solved. If there is no milk, coffee, boiled meat and strawberries – yes, it’s definitely the prowess of a clever oatmeal!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №143848
 12.08.2017
It must be, it turns out, if a person is constantly distracted by every snake, then he thinks worse.

Scientists have discovered the impact of mobile notifications on the psyche.

It is breakthrough.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №143847
 12.08.2017
xxx: got from the memory of the computer his referrals... Added "Harry Potter and" and here are the most successful names:
Harry Potter and Cavernous Kidney Tuberculosis.
Harry Potter and the third trimester of pregnancy.
Harry Potter and the Emergency Service.
Harry Potter and Helping with anaphylactic shock.
Harry Potter and the fractures of the lower limbs, their fixation and treatment.
Harry Potter and Fluoroquinolones.
Harry Potter and the Cycle of Krebs.
Harry Potter and Mental Disorders in Stressful Conditions Caused by Violence.

[ + 28 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №143846
 12.08.2017
Euro = 71, Crimea has not surrendered to anyone - the beaches are empty. Improving the service? It is necessary to introduce a resort collection and cover all the news of Turkey!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №143845
 12.08.2017
We, your colleagues, have never done anything wrong to you, we honestly performed our part of work, helped you as much as we could, covered you when it was necessary.

In most cases, a colleague is not a friend or comrade, but a kind of corporate mechanism, personal feelings to which you do not experience. The comfort of a colleague’s work is the care of the management (which throws you out!Not the dismissed. So any claims from the remaining in the office are inappropriate. It’s like a computer writing on the screen: “You didn’t even wipe me a towel to say goodbye!”

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