bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141923
 04.06.2017
I love Scandinavian folk music, I listen to one song beautiful in Norwegian, and here I dumb that I understand the text, up to the Offgel, I think the hero has opened up a new skill, this is the way from the Nifig, I understand the Norwegian...

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №141922
 04.06.2017
Again, we talked about full women in leggings.
Do you care? and asexual? Do not sleep with them. For some reason I don’t care what people go in, the main thing is not to smell, it doesn’t matter what makeup on women, whether men have socks under sandals, and let the scrotum from under the shorts be visible.
The only option when it can be real doesn't matter - if your partner / partner is extremely silly dressed.

I am not full, I also have no leggings, but there is a habit of wearing the same clothes, especially in summer, when everything after washing dries out overnight, and how many comments I hear from neighbors and acquaintances, like, you need to wear different things, dress up... I am comfortable in my dress-midi, it is clean, pretty dressed and looks like new, but no, these chickens I do not go through the dress code. They also have a chip "why don't you wear shorts and shorts?", I don't want to wipe the seats in the transport with my skin, and I don't want to suddenly freeze.

Do you lack beauty in your life? Go to the Uffizi gallery, plant flowers on the balcony, bring a cat, and turn away from others, be kind.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141921
 04.06.2017
Have you ever dreamed that you have four or six legs?
Noah, it is fun
EVA: How does it feel?
Fuck, it’s hard to convey in words.
Ahha, here’s when you have six legs.
Q: In what order do you transfer them?
See also: HZ
Once again I have six legs.
I can’t walk and I fall.
EL: Why did you do that?

[ + 26 - ] [15 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141920
 04.06.2017
The strength of a woman is in her weakness, ah. Health in sickness, wisdom in stupidity, wealth in poverty, and logic in the ass.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141919
 04.06.2017
I am from Chelyabinsk. Μοand the coceads are very noisy, always arranging walks, scandals, orts. Ha days riding κ relatives in gοcτand in Πandτeρ. Ρsigns κsigns οsigns οsigns οsigns οsigns οsigns οsigns οsigns οsigns οsigns οsigns οsigns! And coceedi is not byyaτ, not opyτ and not drunkτvyjuτ. They πrocτo play on πyanino until three nights. Fucks

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №141918
 04.06.2017
qqq: Yandex-Direct on the page with songs Picnic publishes: "Certification of a psychiatrist. Fast, cheap and officially! We work without weekends." Contextual advertising is so contextual.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №141917
 04.06.2017
Lirriella: It would be great to be able to move at the speed of thought... I would like to visit so many places.
L: I think I’t have stood up and definitely trod the earth’s scientists )) Signal there on the Morse alphabet in English with the alpha centurion to send, etc.)
Andrey: They would have had enough hit (Better in Russian)
L: Yes, maybe... From my English they’d hit enough.)
Andrey: "Hello Let’s get to know you"
L: "How do you do it?"
A: "M or J"
L: "What are you doing? Have you got a picture?")
A: "Do you want me to follow you on my starlight?"
L: Or not, better "I look after you, earthman!"
L: I know what you did last summer"
A: "Do you have club norms to extinguish?"
L: It would not be bad to create an intrigue.)
" All the attention! This is very important! The question of life and death, time is very little! We discovered that very soon our universe..."
And all, and to keep quiet.)
A: I forgot to add a shock!
L: And in a couple of months, when all the telescopes of the earth will be directed to the source of the signal, add: "cargo transportation throughout the universe, inexpensive, we accept visa cards and mastercards"
L: "additional services - replacement of tires on the Mars rover, transportation of vehicles to the solar side of the comet"
L: "selfie with planets, stars, black holes"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №141916
 04.06.2017
Young Successful

Trolls on debt are burning in black :) A guy like you will be deducted 40 thousand each month during the year (480 in the sum, isn’t it), but he can’t resign because he will have to compensate 350 thousand. I’m silent about the general sadness of the history of "education of employees".

You, young financial genius, have already been answered once, but I am not lazy to repeat. You can knock the door and proudly go into the fog, saving 130 thousand, and then eat chren without salt in search of happiness. Now with work somehow not very, especially not in the capitals and highly specialized industry. And this is if they will not be in the race, telling potential employers that this person is better for them not to take. And in the history there is also a mortgage, which you have to pay every month. Already with two months of vacancy and a salary of 60 in a new place, your wonderful mathematics is flying to the brink. This does not count the possible psychological and family problems from such uncertainty.
by PS. I was looking for a job with a decent salary for six months, interrupted by random earnings and taxation. Without a mortgage, but with a two-year-old child and a wife sitting in the decree. I would not wish this to my worst enemy.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №141915
 04.06.2017
When you are born, be sure.

You won’t get rid of small troubles.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №141914
 04.06.2017
From the crown.
In the station buffet, he took a portion of vermischeli with sausage and settled at the table near the summer window.
With the same portion, the young man approached, asked if it was free, put his plate on the table and left for bread.
A crown flew into the window, landed on the table, grabbed a sausage from his plate, and flew away.
I sit on the fork of my sausage, with my mouth spread out of astonishment, looking after the crown.
The guy returns, looks at his plate, my sausage on the fork, and me with a silent question.
I say, “The crown has taken away,” and I know you won’t believe it.
He silently moved his plate to another table.
Who would believe...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №141913
 04.06.2017
Moscow, 2 June 2017
A group of protesters against global warming swept in snow.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141912
 04.06.2017
xxx: you know today in the pharmacy went and there oxygen cocktails are made and the seller to one man who bought something offered the type do you want an oxygen cocktail and he is so "no thank you I breath myself"
Oh my God, I am so rude.
xxx: no one understood, but I first roasted in the pharmacy then in the street still roasted and another five minutes with breaks to remember what I roasted

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №141911
 04.06.2017
What is the value of "Black Square"?

What Diagonal?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №141910
 04.06.2017
Straga: Asked the wife who returned from the store (03.06.2017) how is the weather? He said it was warm. Then she quietly added: Truth I was in the puppy...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №141909
 04.06.2017
The apache!
Be Healthy!
Do not wait!
I’m tired of waiting, we’ll arrange.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №141908
 04.06.2017
Ryazan hipsters do not cut their beards, but turn them!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №141907
 03.06.2017
My husband invited me to the concert of the group "Drunk Goose". Classics are played, he says, in modern processing. Even Google didn’t realize they were The Piano Guys.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №141906
 03.06.2017
111: About the pashlons did not googled, or it turns out that we did not have them on the continent)
222: I watched a video about the Paslenovs, they told me that they were still planted asars
And I watched the aliens build the pyramids.
333 And now they are building roads.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141905
 03.06.2017
I had a friend. We met in school because of the common interests - while the others were cuddling and playing in love, we were actively looking for ways to realize ourselves professionally.
But here's the problem - the friend had a bunch of ideas, but none went further (!) The logo. He painted cool logos, yes, but barely a logo was made – interest in the project disappeared.
He was unable to find a job and a girlfriend. Employers regarded him as lazy and the female sex as an empty bell.
But it was ten years ago. Now he is the owner – Tadam! Logo Design Studios in Canada.

I am for what. As you know, the devil lies in the details. And in general, in the details can cover anything, including the matter of your whole life.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №141904
 03.06.2017
Mathematics: 2 + 2 = 4
Programming: 1 + 1 = 10
Medical: 1 cubic cm + 100 cubic cm = 1 cubic cm of active substance
Lawyer: two plus two is equal to four, unless otherwise provided by the law, the contract or the substance of the circumstances.
Financialist: two plus two equals four minus NDFL 13% plus clearance in PFR 22% plus FSS 2.9% plus FFOMS 5.1% in the end 3.48 you, 0,52 me, 1.72 them

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