Sobyanin comes to Putin and says:
- Vladimir Vladimirovich, I removed all the tents near the subway, excavated all of Moscow, and the treasures hidden by Luzhkov never found.
– Sergey Semenovich, did you look under the fifth floors?

Husband and wife choose in the supermarket dog food (large pots of 750 grams). He is angry:
This is what the name "Em without problems". They would write the truth: “Every morning I eat a cane!”"

xxx: We went into the bushes and this drunkard with the screams "Musketers, cross our streams! For France! For the king!" foolish at $$al me on the shoe!

The Ministry of Health will ban smoking in films

X : How? Now the maniac cut off the head of the victim can not smoke a cigarette?
u:Now, Morgunov, teaching twist, will push "Chupa-chops" :)
Sherlock Holmes to let soap bubbles go

The Russian labour market needs engineers most, says the head of Rostrod

The comments:

Specialists on population reduction and sales of natural resources
Distributors of Spaces
Employees of RPC
Space Soldiers and Drivers
Specialists on closing rural schools and hospitals
Annual repair of roads
Specialists in calculation and comparison with salaries of tariffs of housing units and caps of repair
Experts on pricing food products and reducing their quality
This is not a complete list of the most sought-after and well-paid specialties in the country!

One day, sitting at a visit with her school girlfriend, I mentioned in a conversation that my mother’s girl’s surname was very similar to her. The girlfriend’s mother, hearing this, suddenly stumbled and asked, “Is your mother not like that at the time?” I say “Yes.” “And aunt, when is she not your mother’s school friend?” I was surprised, but yes, my aunt-tante is indeed my mother’s school friend, of whom I’ve heard a lot of good and good stories. And then... “So, they killed her... They shot her together with her husband. The husband was a bandit, he threw huge money of influential people, and they were killed. Somewhere a month ago.

I was slightly touched by this news, I never saw this lady in the eyes, but my mother was very upset, cried, mocked herself that because of family and work I did not communicate with my childhood friend and could not fix this.

And here I come home somehow from school, and my mom sits next to the phone and laughs:

"Imagine, he says, I call my daughter "dead", I begin to push the talk of condolences, and the one, surprisedly adds, but everyone tries to say that nothing terrible, this is all fixable." Here, the mother begins to understand that there can not be such a reaction in the daughter.

As a result, it turns out: a aunt, walking in the evening with her husband, fell on the ice, broke her arm. My husband is healthy and works as an economist. Yes, it was a month ago, but how the “sarafan radio” news of a broken arm turned into the death of two by a bandit bullet, it’s a big mystery.

I get into the elevator, followed by father and son. Child of 3 years. He is carefully studying me. I wear a dress (I can’t say it’s nasty, but it’s short). A few floors later, the child says, “Daddy, why is she without pants? “”

She came out of the elevator under the whistle of the red-looking father and his explanations about boys and girls, dresses, shirts and pants.

I have a friend. And when his wife's time came to give birth, they decided to call his son Gleb. Obviously, they answered that they would be annoying to explain. But my friend was relentless. At first, everything was easier in the kindergarten, the children were still small, but Gleb went to the first class - and it went! Give me bread! “Greek, go after the bread!” Clearly, the boy is hysterical: "Why did you call me so! ? to Couldn’t she be there, or could she be there?”

And last summer, a friend bought a larger apartment in another neighborhood, and the son was transferred to a neighborhood school. He was taken to second grade on September 1 with tears and tears. He was somehow accustomed to himself, and again he refused to experience all this! But! When his mother picked him up from school in the evening, the child smiled and no tears were seen. A friend asks his wife, “What happened? How is it?” “That is so! In his class, it turns out, students Taras, Edik and Anton! Our Gleb almost died of happiness! and)))

From Rufus.

What is a Webinar?

This is the replacement of normal learning for anything hipster-like with nothing.
Very popular in the last five years. To create the impression in the victim that she understood something or learned something. Often for money. A legal way to withdraw funds from the trial population.

I got a tooth sick. The dentist looked and said, “Remove.” Remove it, so remove it. Eight is not a pity. I come from the surgeon. This surgeon comes out, the uncle is so impressive, 40 years old. I start smiling, blinking, complimenting all sorts of things (the guy is trying to somehow delight me before the execution). I sit in a chair. The injection. I wait. The surgeon smiles and pretends he likes me so much. Takes the tool, carefully pulls out my tooth.

Then, smiling again, he asks:

Are you a girl, not married?

I think, “Here’s the claw. Maybe I really liked him...” I say:

No, not married

He answered me so seriously:

Well, you hurry, but the less teeth, the harder it will be to do.

In the elevator hanged a social advertisement against tobacco smoking.
Den Stranger: A cigarette from which a bullet flows out and the pathetic phrase that you kill not only yourself but others.
Den Stranger: And it would be nothing, but I am from that generation where this picture is associated with something quite different.
Den Stranger: Namely the movie Phantom and Commissioner Zhou with his shooting cigars.

On the second day of summer, a light St. Petersburg wind pressed young trees to the asphalt, played with snowflakes falling on the bass box.

If you want to know, her husband and I got married three days after my wedding, although there were only two days left.
Two days left to what?
Before our wedding, of course, not stupid.
Yes, all I sleep.
Do not write to me anymore.

I have a problem with trust. I don’t sleep in the plane because someone has to keep the car in the air with the force of their horror.
PESEN-NET

xxx: The anti-plagiarism showed that I had scratched a paragraph from Wikipedia.
I went to Wikipedia and removed this paragraph from there.

Here is this:
If theology were a science, would the object of its study be God? Experimenting with him? Definition of properties? Methods of its application? (Al this is still closer to engineering than to pure science) His position in reality would be clarified with increasing accuracy.

It would be interesting to live in a world with such a theology"

It already was:
At the time, the Israeli technical university "Technion" decided to try to open the Faculty of Theology. The management of the university went to meet and offered a program of study at two departments: “Applied Theology” and “Experimental Theology”. There were no more attempts to introduce the theological faculty in Technion.

I am your star on the sky and sweet candy.

Nothing to blame me.

Narrin Hm. Either the candy carries out nuclear synthesis and when you try to eat you burn up on the flight to the photosphere, or all the astronomers can go and bite - in the space a chocolate sphere talks about 2 * 10^27 tons)

Narrin Hm. And I will try to calculate the surface area and at least roughly guess for what time you can at least lick a candy of a star size.
I started digging the formulas.

by O_O

You are crazy.

by Alexei:
He went out and went home for a jacket.
The rain and the wind are strong.

and Sanya:
I told you...

by Alexei:
I did not do better ?

I saw the city, lay in bed)))

Always blame the cat.
Who ate the meat? The Cat. Who broke the cup? The Cat.
Who has poured two liters of wine?
The cat, not me.

My parents are 7 years old, from September 1st class. My grandmother often recalled, as a little daddy, the question: "How are you on your first day at school?He replied, “I just liked the girl...I’ll give her gladiolios tomorrow!” So they were friends, then due to unpleasant family circumstances, at the age of 16, Daddy's parents took their mother to live with them, and at 18 they married. I got somewhat away from the topic.



So, parents, despite the fact that they are together for about 40 years, are still very emotionally quarreled, settled, passions boil in general.

And one day they fought, no one remembers the reason. Dad fell asleep offended, and mother went to her friend, closing the door with a key.



Dad wakes up, the door is closed, there is no mother, there are no keys (he thought so, and in general they were quietly lying on the cell phone), Mom does not take the phone. Dad didn’t come up with anything better than going down from the 3rd floor and looking for his mom (and he’s a sober person).



He goes down, falls, breaks his leg. Mom from a friend’s window sees the ambulance at our entrance, goes out, sees Dad. They reconciled naturally and all the way to the hospital she said to him, "How stupid are you, and if you broke your neck and died, what would I do without you!!! Why did you use this stuff, old man? What an unreasonable act!! What if you were dead!!“”



So, Dad did not go to work at night, with a broken leg. And that night there was an explosion in the mine, and the area where Dad was supposed to be that night fell asleep. None of those who were there survived.



So the reckless act saved his life and greatly undermined his mental health.