bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141443
 18.05.2017
Well, another child grew up: from the evening she long packed the falling tooth in a clean toothbrush, hid deeper under the pillow, and in the morning jumped to the training in panic (admission to the certificate on the next belt), not even looking for money. The question is, and why the tooth fairy stumbled to get, and then carefully back, stumbling all this complicated farm?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141442
 18.05.2017
From Picaboo:

Vanesmen
I don’t know, but I guess it’s an emulator.

Nifer
Emulator is when you completely copy another OS. A wine, to speak roughly, translates commands for the wire into commands for the linux. Let’s say there is a conditional command for the kernel of the wire "go", and for the linux, this same command sounds like "go". Wayne reads the "go" command, but Linouche is already sending "pizzu". somehow so.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141441
 18.05.2017
The average Krasnoyarsk family with a child counted 40 thousand "free" rubles:
Guest 10: what to do with the decree and "decree"? What is the point of counting the income of two adults, if one of them has been in the decree for about three years and receives copies (if it receives)? Is the rental or mortgage expenses included? It feels like a family spending 5 kg of rice per month and a bag of potatoes as clothes for all family members.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №141440
 18.05.2017
Avatar Larf Croft: Why do you write to me in a female genre?
Avatar SpongeBob: because a normal man will not put a grandmother on an avatar or anime. Or you are a grandmother. Or a gay.
Avatar of Anonymous: that is, in your opinion, normal 35-year-old men on the avatar put a sponge bob?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141439
 18.05.2017
To the shit about Ramesses and Caesar and even with them...

Who told you that you didn’t eat meat? Meat eating is the main sign of belonging to the aristocracy. For example, in Rome, without the pig’s blood sausage, it was impossible to imagine anything other than patricia, plebey! And the sauce of Harum was prepared from dried raw fish (they loved it, yes). And even by Caesar, he generally - before the power in Rome to take Gallium conquered. So I can say 100% that there was no potatoes, no cucumbers, not even carrots. In addition, imagine an efficient Roman soldier or commander who sits on the peach for weeks for months (there is not before the war, just not to get rid of it). So, vegan gentlemen, before making a heresy, even learn the match. Well, and health to you, let's live to 50 years... medicine is better than then.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141438
 18.05.2017
The birds are vegans.
Did you know that many birds eat vegetable food and chickens are fed by insects? Protein needs vary at different ages. Food is dark. Some nutritionists suggest giving up carbohydrates (including fruits) in favor of protein foods. Others suggest excluding animal food (protein?) of the ration. The truth is, you need to eat less. One of the longevity researchers identified such a pattern - no matter what diet a person adheres to, moderation in food, motor activity and a positive attitude to life is important.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141437
 18.05.2017
Share investment fund "Free stone makers", do you say?
I personally printed business cards for the Grand Master, his mason and the secretary of the Great (Massonic) Lodge of Russia. I still have the masks.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №141436
 18.05.2017
When you stretch one socks on your left leg, the other automatically becomes right) And instantly, regardless of the distance between your legs. This is the essence of quantum connectivity.)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №141435
 18.05.2017
The only thing that makes me get up is the alarm clock I recorded for myself. There I speak with a dark voice "Poverty... Dependence on others. The Solitude. and bombardment. The disease. Jirnottaa" Well, and it’s all in that spirit. It inspires me and makes me move. But one day I did not sleep alone, the alarm sounded in the morning and everyone woke up.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №141434
 18.05.2017
Y to Y! When in the first class, at the teacher's question, I honestly said that my mother did not know how to cook, I was embarrassed, mocked and accused of ungratefulness, in general, led to tears. But at home there was a very limited choice of dishes. A friend’s mother was an engineer, but a genius of cooking. They had a house, a table. All the friends of my friend's brother's friends ate there too. Less than 5 liters of soup pot, they never cooked, and every day. Now that I recall how I had done everything I wanted, I am ashamed. We just fed up two engineers with a Soviet engineering salary...none of the parents of this childhood came to the mind to give money or bring products...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №141433
 18.05.2017
Anabioze: If I had a name, I would have called my daughter Ada.
Kiro455: The graveyard of Hell is strong
ykropina2: And I would call Rice... Paradise’s Tombing, sounds intriguing)
SilentiaRay: It is obvious that in this case it is worth having two daughters! :D

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141432
 18.05.2017
and worrying:

When in the supermarket at the end of May you buy apples of a new crop, then in captivity you start to think: What year is this crop? It becomes somewhat worrying...

The Earth in addition to the northern hemisphere, there is a southern, and there, such a surprise, also grow apples, but unlike the apples of the northern hemisphere they ripen in March-April.


[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141431
 18.05.2017
No war has been won by the Shinshill army.

and nothing. For all of them, one bitten white beast took revenge. Even in excess.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №141430
 18.05.2017
I am angry with such a hernia when you are standing on the red light to throw on the crossroads, the green light is lit, and you are throwing 10 for example. The green is burning, and a number of things stand and stand, stand and stand. More than half of the cars cross a crossroads with a distance of 3 cars. Instead of driving a large number of cars at a time, you have to 2-3 red stands. They turn the same way. I turned one, the other, and the distance between them is such that the fringe will enter. Take off such driver's license, let them ride in trams.
What do you think is it possible to apply with such an offer to the GIBDD or this to the Merzleova?
YYY: So why complain? Immediately hit your feet on your face, and how will you fall to get the penis out of your pants and shake in front of it with the words, see the fox?! Do you see how small the distance is?! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141429
 18.05.2017
We were with the family on the market (we trade milk) and we always park in the market near one acquaintance on a minibus.
Well spring, all the work, April. The market cats have got cats and they decided to base for some reason near us.
A couple of hours later, I began to hear just a wild cat cuddling from underneath the car of a friend. I look at the car, not there. I look down, not there. I think a man may have taken a cat into the salon. I ask, he says he doesn’t need a cat and I invented it all. I insist because the sound is now clearly either from the cabin or from underneath the hood.
He broke it and here he opens the cap. There, next to the battery, a mom-cat and her small kitten were comfortable, which is sprinkled like a sliced.
Mat, cats in a specially prepared cardboard box for them.
Laughed and went. I come back in half an hour and I hear the whisper again. The neighbor’s car. I tell him, but we decide to unload them to the end of the market so as not to move.
But that is not all!
After a while, the mole is heard from underneath our hat! Reno-Logan is worth protecting! And I open the cap and really there, on our paths and slanges, the kitten is using!!! to
You believe in rebirth.
100%, in a past life this cat was a cowboy.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №141428
 18.05.2017
After Ukraine blocked Yandex, Odnoklassniki, VKontakte and others, the Supreme Commander-in-Chief congratulated the Russian troops on the unconditional surrender of the enemy.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №141427
 18.05.2017
by Peter. Larek with baking of Caucasian cuisine, well there lavash, hachapuri and all that. There are a lot of such larvae, but this works for a very long time, and has a stunning range, quality and taste are defined simply - the larvae is always in turn, and by six o’clock, everything is calculated, there are only biscuits unusual for the Caucasus. I leave work, I understand that I have to drive home at least an hour, and I want to eat very much. I approach the bar, adjust in a row, and at some point I realize that the couple standing in front of me is talking in English. Not English, not American, but my native language. It’s unclear what they do in the most trivial food market, but they do. Their turn comes, and the man begins to make an order, in English, and I understand with horror that the young guy (!) He responds in English, and in the course of the case explains the composition of some "cake", using beef instead of meat, and even scallion instead of onion, because one of the kinds of open cake is actually filled with green onions. I am silent about times and articles. A fluent, literate, pure English language. I took a cake with meat and ran into the car, terrified to realize that the English of this twenty-year-old lavacheem trader was better than mine. Peter is the cultural capital.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №141426
 18.05.2017
Yandex in Ukraine was blocked for the fact that on the search query "glory to Ukraine" it does not answer "heroes of glory".

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №141425
 18.05.2017
"Sani had an ordinary young family.
It was a poor, but rather bright and spacious apartment, with normal repairs and furniture.
There were even attractions, for future children, and what to say, for Sani too. There was a runway and Swedish walls.
Sanya worked at home and tried to get the maximum profit, bringing joy and pleasure to people. His wife helped him in this, to the extent of her ability.
There was food for everyone and always. My relationship with my wife was warm and normal. She temporarily did not work and was engaged in the arrangement of the home nest.
Then my wife became pregnant. Then I gave birth. The Four!
On the occasion of the birth there were many guests, everyone wanted to see, touch the newborns.
After the guests left, Sani’s wife killed all the children. It suffocated. and bite.
Sanna killed her wife.
Because Sanya was a hammer."

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №141424
 18.05.2017
We have a proger, obviously someone’s son. The toys are constantly open and you can see that a person is doing something wrong all day.
I’m here this morning and the plugs are open. On lunch I pass by - MSDN, in the evening I leave - stackoverflow. Fuck, I think maybe it happened to the boy... I ask a colleague, maybe he knows...
Yes, says his colleague, he’s getting deadline soon. This is %NAME% from the bagtracker.
Then I met Zen. This is the only test in our department. And it is enough for forty men.

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