Spam email: Natalya is the best gift for the new year. Give me two!!! to

She: Well, I turned on such a fool and I say, type and I don't know, it's not for me.
He: So you can turn it off?
She says: You have gone!! to

Comedy short film "what customers want".
The protagonist gets during a brain accident the ability to read the minds of customers. As a result, he dies from the paradox.

I sit under the table this morning. In our service department, where everyone is always busy, a relatively new accountant runs in with an alarming appearance:
I have something with the chair.
Serviceman: What did you eat?
The bush is not entering: it has crumbled on the floor, and it does not hold!
Serviceman starting to roast: Health needs to beined.
And only then it became clear that the gaspatron was flowing. I wave

The housephone ringed.
I guess who could be there.
XHH: I fit
xxx: "police, open up"
Tagged: fucking
I ask "and you are not with me"?
xxxh: "No, not to you, drive the childproon further"
Tagged with: Zbsi Nach

Today I learned all the truth about soldiers and police officers.
WOW: What is the truth?
I was in business with a fifth grade student. After some time, she began to notice that she often says “Blue Pony” or “Green Pony Goes” and so on. At first I thought she remembered the cartoon, but at the end I still asked who she was about. Her answer was a masterpiece, "Militians are blue pony, and soldiers are green pony, that’s what everyone knows" now I can’t normally look at police officers and soldiers))

Do not laugh at the end of the world!
I sit here at the party at home (Msk) drink a beer and watch the news on the box. There is a story about people who buy salt and light bulbs, waiting for the end of the world, and, in short, everything about it. over some other grandmother, I strained straight in the voice. All of it! The telephone itself. The wife was just in the bathroom bathing and let go from there, I thought I was such a joke.. and I could not even get to her right away, you can't see them! It quickly turned out that there was no light in the whole house, and only in our, 14 floors, 3 entrances. Well, here began... the search in the darkness of candles, light bulbs and lamps... the device of romantic illumination throughout the house. The beauty! But the Nifiga! After 5 minutes the hot water ended. After 15 minutes it became clear that the batteries are cooling (everything on individual pumps works!) The elevators stand by themselves. It also quickly lost its importance. We have nowhere to go! And the light does not all include... oh! The refrigerator flow! This is where we realized what the “end of the world” is in the modern world! Honestly, I felt absolutely helpless. P.s The lights came only at 5 a.m.

He moved the cochlin’s toilet and stopped filling the filler...Bushka assessed it as a jock ham and began to dude on the threshold...took his mouth into a roasted blasphemy, squeezed into the bowl in a new place, as soon as he managed the matter, praised, starved, gave a snack...for what he fought and struck... now this striped miracle with a persistent meucco mewkiny calls me to see how she does and NEEDS, NEEDS!!! Flavors and tastes...

The Rule!! Do not take pictures of people who have something in their face!!! Then they will pursue you – "What do I have with my face"?

News on the track:
Hulk announced his desire to leave "Zenit"

"Halk is tired Halk go away."

People, who can tell about the ZOTA boilers?
I have worth.
I am worth too. But I still wanted to know about cats...

Add the button: "And where to laugh?"

Olga: Another measure to combat winter traffic jams has been proposed in the government – it is considered necessary to involve the army to clean up the roads during heavy snowfall. They will be carried out by engineering units of the Armed Forces.
? to

Ekaterina: Well, the division with the blades on the route Russia-10 and begins to clean the roofs
Catherine: two soldiers from the construction bathtub replace the excavator, it is known

Why do you never eat onions?
How can I destroy what makes people cry?

On December 1, we had +1, the second +2, today +5... I look forward to the 31st: a beach, a cold beer in the hot New Year’s night...

How is DDoS decrypted?
From Davai Do Svidania
She: Well yes! I thought so.

I’ll never forget how a comrade, who couldn’t get out of the office, asked me to come to the station and meet his aunt. I found an old lady in the wagon, for some reason with a test and a bunch of bags, explained that Lenia is very busy, and I will take them to him now. His mother-in-law called him Leish, but I did not pay attention to him.
Yyy: Well, and Lecha, Lenia, what’s the difference?
Why did I have to ask my name right at the station? I still can’t forget the comrade’s eyes and his compressed question: “Who did you bring?” They were very different people they forgot to meet.

In the morning of the working day, the boss (N) talks with the partners on the subject of signing the necessary documents:
N: The documents must be signed, no, I am not worried about the transport collapse, no, come and sign! I need to submit all the documents to the accounting office until the end of the world!

From comments to news in Vladivostok about the laying of asphalt in the snow.
In Vladivostok, snow is not cleaned, it is asphalted!

A person is considered to be unconditionally late if he arrived before everyone else.