bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №63446
 26.04.2012
[21:17:52] Sasha: Hi, I don’t like kindergarten, and I don’t want to look like a child. Every time I write to you, you don’t answer.
I understand that a man is not sitting behind a compass all day. Nevertheless, you have a status "on the network", and by the rules of the network label means that you are free. If you are not interested in communicating with me, for any reason, it's okay, just say it.
In short, if you don’t want to talk, remove me.

The user has been removed from your contact list.

[21:18:10] Sasha: the goat

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №63445
 26.04.2012
hhhhh (11:33:10 26/04/2012)
If you put a smile at the end of any phrase, it automatically makes her friendly and does not let her be offended. A stupid bite?and :)
whey (11:33:54 26/04/2012)
Go to Fuck :)

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №63444
 26.04.2012
Funny phrase from the video tutorial: if you suddenly, accidentally, bought a licensed version of the product...

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №63443
 26.04.2012
On Wednesday, April 25, at 12:45, an anonymous call came to the office of the Ombudsman of Pervoralsk about the fact that in the central square of the city is a naked girl, who runs through the square in just trousers, and on her feet - socks.

A separate company of the patrol-post police department departed to the scene.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №63442
 26.04.2012
Grandfather told how once in the USSR, in the village, worked as a screenwriter in a club. So, he sent him somewhere for a script contest. And the scripts he wrote on the printing machine, in those times the printing machine was a luxury, everyone wrote by hand, and this luxury he bought somewhere from the colloquium, as written. Only the problem was in that machine, where the letter “o” flew away. Grandfather, not thinking long, began to write a similar, the letter "c" instead of her. At first, he did the letter “c”, but then he used to read his texts as appropriate, without the narrative. So at the contest, everyone submitted their works to the jury, when it came to the grandfather's creation, the jury began to roar loudly. Then they called the author with the question – “We think you have a mistake in the title of the script.” Grandfather quickly re-read – “No, everything is correctly written – “Yes, the man in the field.”

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №63441
 26.04.2012
Have you also gotten boring jokes about boring prints? The whole essence of which is reduced to the fact that the author has an iPhone (or iPad) and curved hands.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №63440
 26.04.2012
I got a ticket for field transistors.
2: What are the others?
3: Parade and everyday

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №63439
 26.04.2012
Today I was offered a flyer at a restaurant "Orabel". But I’m an orbel and decided not to take it.

[ + 33 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63438
 26.04.2012
News on Yandex:
Former Ukrainian Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko has declared a hunger strike.

It is coming to summer :)

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №63437
 26.04.2012
The benefits of advanced technologies.
Our boss has two weaknesses - buying fresh technical lotions, even if they are not needed, and looking after the staff. For this reason, veterans have long not written anything at the workplace either by mail or in aske, and by telephone are not especially distributed - Stirlitz, shorter.
Not so long ago, in order to improve everything, the entire staff moved to thin clients, and there is no screw in the car, no flash drive or drive to move.
The data in the process of work is stored on a remote server behind the bug, the local server only for the software.
And here with someone the boss scandalized, and came the Goblins and Goblins, presented the papers and took all the systems. After a while they call - we can't load the car - come, say, say the password. The headquarters went out and raised a scandal - they said, screws were stolen from all the cars! The case, the statements to the prosecutor’s office, the menta shattered.
Morality: Knowledge of the game, even the Goblins need.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №63436
 26.04.2012
xxx: I think somebody upstairs decided to touch me.
YYY: So what again?? to
Remember, we bought Johnson’s moisturizing cream in the store, which also slows hair growth?? to
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY 
XXX is fucking!! This cream does not work!! to
YYY: I told you that it’s all shit, just to have the piple run...
XXX: you are talking shit!! My hair is now three times bigger and it grows ten times faster!!!! to 
YYY: Do not throw it away. I’m going to get rid of it ? ? ? ?
And also a fool’s husband.

[ + 32 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63435
 26.04.2012
Sitting at work found out that you can not open more than 91 windows of the built-in application "calculator" at once.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №63434
 26.04.2012
What is busy
PAnZeR: I work... I always when in the asce - at work! I'm not sitting from the phone and home with the comp in the asskoe
Writing: Writing is clear.
Tagged: clear

[ + 30 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63433
 26.04.2012
I work for a German company in Moscow. Almost all of the top management - frits, CEO - frits. So here in the mail before the holidays from his name is a message with congratulations and so on.
I’m looking forward to seeing you send a congratulatory message by May 9th.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №63432
 26.04.2012
Registered from the mess in the online toy under the nick a fucking fool, now every time at the entrance I am asked: Fucking fool, are you? Must be confirmed.( by

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №63431
 26.04.2012
1: and that they didn’t even call the local prostitutes?
It was an idea, but how do you tell...
1: Speak as it is
2 – Dear prostitutes
It sounds like a treat :-)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №63430
 26.04.2012
Nature has given me life, and civilization has given me the opportunity to do nothing.and :)

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №63429
 26.04.2012
Katyushka : Hi Leishik, what can be done with a 3G modem? The balance of the account is minus 74 rubles.
Fallen: The money is over
Thanks to Lech!! by Kissing
No problem, please contact me.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №63428
 26.04.2012
I’ve been to the office for an interview three times. They promised to answer about further plans and... disappeared.
HH: Well I’m not a fool, I asked, what kind of naphid is this? In response there was something like - blame, but at the moment bla-bla we are not ready bla-bla we will return to your candidacy later if the cancers on the mountain burst.
xxh: Naturally asked to voice the reason for the refusal, except for the one about the broken cancers. I also recommend the rules of good tone for candidates.
Oh, and here I come... "Katy, hello. What a troublesome thing is this..."
xxx: here I wanted a feedback and got it, it's called))))))))) But the girl burned off - follow the addresses of the candidate and the boss
After a couple of minutes, the girl flew away from herself to correct, she writes that she gives her feedback on the seventh lunar day because of the zombie candidates who sprung from all the gaps and that as a professional I am upset, but for their mega-puppy company I still do not fit.
She answered in her spirit.
xxx: well, there are such files, with the sending of letters not there... but say you do not get upset very much, I got the most real feedback, not an official nonsense :). Competences, judging by communication with the bosses, I just have (unless you need to be able to dance bugy-vugi with parallel jongling, standing on a rope). But in any case, the “problem” of your company is as visible to me as mine is to you. So it’s mutual, so it’s good :)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №63427
 26.04.2012
A quote from a mosquito:
x: I didn't get frozen and ordered delivery from Taganrog

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna