XXX: I have a sick leg.
xxx: At first I joyfully identified myself with House, but then I remembered the zombies from Heroes of Might and Magic...

Visiting the toilet during the flight in the plane has become less interesting. I learned that the content is not sent to nature like on a train.

Our people are stupid and stupid.
Today, a buyer came to the store, all such a calculated and type "concrete", say I know what I want - asks he means a question about bread, so that with the doser was, 24 programs and (further goes hysterical laughter) boiling borscht...
And he is so confident in his words, proving this by the fact that his brother bought one - to see a brother with a sense of humor in him, I imagine how the brother breaks in pieces from laughter...

News from Miley.
A 10-year-old girl made a scientific discovery
Ten-year-old Claire Leisen from Kansas (USA) accidentally made a scientific discovery. At a chemistry class, she assembled a pattern of a chemical compound previously unknown to scientists. It is believed that such a structure contributes to the accumulation of energy in the substance, and the discovery could lead to the creation of a new explosive.

One of the comments:
A boy in the village found a bullet. No one lives in the village anymore.

It is very interesting how the next day of the lander in Peter will be. Would it be called propaganda? The men are half naked. They embrace! It is still wet in the fountain. And they have some suspiciously blue...

I drank kefir 20 minutes ago.

I'm milk tail 30 missiles forward.

We answer the question:

Question to the author:

Commentary on one film:
and warning!! to
Causes short-term numbness of the brain and dysfunction of world perception.
After viewing it is recommended to rinse your eyes with warm soap water and read a book (any... absolutely any)
Also (in isolated cases) causes the desire to burn clothes, shut the windows, get into the box and cry.

What kind of movie is this? ? ?

Symptoms are similar to darkness)))

Morning and Saturday.
Question: "And why did I remove the window from the cocktail yesterday?"

By listening carefully to the woman, you help her understand what she wanted to say.

Story of Cat
ru-cats.livejournal.com/19218540.html

Dear Rockefeller, I am asking you for advice.

There is a cat. The cat weighs 10 kilograms.  
There is a bed. The bed has a high soft back with a width of 10-15 centimeters.
And there are owners of cats who sleep on this bed.

At night, the cat jumps on the back of the bed and walks on it. The cat has a night shift. But since the cat in the past life was a cow and some features transferred to the present incarnation, on the fourth or fifth walk it loses balance and crumbles down.
If I'm lucky, the cat falls by. If I’m not lucky, ten kilograms of cat land on my head, and for some reason it’s always my ass.
 

How can a cat get rid of this habit?  

They were tried:  
- sticky tape placed on the back of the bed. (At the end of the day, the
They left them from a cuddled cat, almost without a scalp.
The unloved smell of ylang-ylang. The cat didn’t care what the smell was.
He is unloved.
Mandarin peel in large quantities (Cats are crazy.
the skins on my head, in the process fell after them myself).  

What else can be done? I was sleeping under the pillow. The cat shakes and then comes back.  

ru-cats.livejournal.com/19238701.html
Two days ago I heard a cry of soul in the community.
received a lot of feedback. Two went to work immediately.  
As I promised, I will report.  

I like simple and easy to implement ideas. Therefore, the proposals to attach the shelf to the bed, to the cat, to his head, so that it was convenient for him to fall on it, were postponed for later.  

To begin with, I took six balls from the child, swallowed and pressed the pipe between the wall and the bed. It turned out very beautiful. My husband and I looked at them and went to bed.  

There was a gunshot in the middle of the night. When asked, I decided that my husband shot a cat (although the only weapon in our house is a water gun).
When the lights were turned on, the cat was sitting on the floor, surrounded by blue balls and unhappy. He got a pinch, moved the balls and went to bed again. It was our strategic mistake to prove how little we know about cats.  

He exploded the second and third balls twenty minutes later and jumped, choking. My husband urged me to remove everything and finish the experiments for today. While I was hiding the balls in the closet, the cat stepped up to the bigger one and knocked on it with a lap.

In the pure result: minus four balls, minus two hours of sleep, minus eight meters of nerve fibers per two adults. Fun for the cat.  

Then there was a spare option. The entire back of the bed was laid with foil in several layers so that it would scream louder. I assured my husband that now he can sleep peacefully: on the foil, the cat will not sound - it will be afraid.

In fact, it almost happened. The cat came in a couple of hours when we slept. I jumped out of the closet on foil. Folga shook, the cat was terribly frightened, swung up in the air and fell on his husband.  

In the pure outcome: minus ten meters of foil, minus forty drops of pineapple for two adults. Fun for the cat.  


ru-cats.livejournal.com/19428775.html
So I had a problem with which I came into the community.  

After the foil and balls did not work, I began to think the other way: how not to let the cat in the bedroom at night.

The first was used cat scammers. Unfortunately, the cat did not realize that it was a frightener. But he understood the husband, who rattled, smelled and eventually asked to ventilate the room. So I now have a frightener of husbands who need – I can give.  

Approximately the same foolishness appeared to be the basin with water. We put him with the calculation that the cat will flatter and forget about the bed (he loves water).
The calculation was half-righteous: the cat slapped, but did not forget the bed.
At night he jumped to us, shaking his wet legs. I thought he had twenty-two. At ten he stumbled on my face, with the rest running through the blanket and the blanket. Finally, he kissed his husband in his nose, touching him with a wet cheek from which water dropped.  

After that, the husband said that the hell with him, with the interior, he agreed to the shelf.  

He brought a lacquered board with a borderboard in the evening, carried for two hours, mocked the innocent bed, and finally added it. I wanted to say that it would be better for a cat to fall on us than this fig tree (no one would get out of it alive). But she looked at her husband’s face and decided to keep silent. Okay, I think one night we'll sleep -- and then I'll take it away from sin.

In addition, before going to bed, the child ran and threw his toys on it. I shrugged my hand and did not argue, because I was wondering which of the relatives would raise the child if we were buried under the shelf.

(I have to say that I was worried in vain: as it turned out, her husband struck her on conscience.)

At night, a cat came to the shelf. He walked to the middle of the shelf and touched one of the toys with his leg.  
It turned out to be an interactive hamster "ju-ju pets".  

From the touch of the cat's leg, the hamster turned on. He cried out:
“I blame you!” and ran onto the cat, shining with love.  

I would be happy to tell you what happened next. But I won’t lie: I haven’t seen it. The cat was not seen until morning. Khomjak ran to the edge of the shelf and committed suicide, like a leming, by jumping from a rock into a pond with water.

As a result, we removed the shelf.
On the back of the bed is now a hammer guard.
The cat does not enter the room. And if he happens to see a hamster in the open door, he swells up to the size of a manula and retreats in horror.  

On my balcony, there is a dwarf that grows, right above a car that signals every night. I feed this cup of tea.

Mother enters the apartment with the frost and announces: "Son, tomorrow you will put on the clothes... or you will ring like that bell... "

I want to! Food may still be
The kitchen is not entirely worn.
She catches me and worries me.
My stomach is bored.

During my not-so-long life, I had three questions about the universe:

1) What is the meaning of life?
2) Was it a boy?
Why do people say "my ipod" instead of "my player"?

[Rednyrg721] “Seven people were killed in Pakistan while watching a mined TV.”
[Rednyrg721] TV is death

No, well, it is only I can write to myself a reminder in the evening before the arrival of highly moral parents - "Don't forget to hide whiskey", and in the morning, after hiding, leave a reminder in the most prominent place.

The practice diary is a mini work on the topic: "how I spent my holidays".

Up the logic! My grandfather: "Now such gasoline is expensive! Here is your uncle in Kiev: he has his own insurance company, he is constantly travelling by car... And now his firm is picked out... Therefore, you need to know at least two foreign languages!"

When on a trip meeting with the board of directors of an American corporation your mobile phone rings and plays the opening of "My Little Pony" - it's uncomfortable.
But when five minutes later the chairman’s cell phone rings and plays the same opening, it’s shit.

Smile from Mom:
Grandma wondered: poured in the alarm lamp oil - type, lubricate. The alarm clock is stuck and the third day with this oil writes...")))