bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №88309
 13.10.2013
But I found a way to raise earnings. It is worth only to want to eat and cook the breadth... the line of customers is guaranteed shit.

And it’s worth ruining the air, and... The races are guaranteed.

The store urgently needs a seller with a good appetite and poor digestion. Extensions are free.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №88308
 13.10.2013
He read Science and Life and discovered a wonderful excerpt from the Journal of Knowledge of 1912:
Unfortunately, the cinema, which was intended by the inventors mainly for purely scientific and educational purposes, in the hands of predatory entrepreneurs has become a means of easy earnings. In order to tear away an extra penny from the public, they offer her wild scenes of robbery and violence instead of decent paintings of educational significance. In the best case, the program of the paintings - harmless funny events, in the worst - dirty cynical scenes, from which every little morally pure person turns away. Ninety-nine hundred of the cinematic paintings thrown into the market consist of robberies, murders, bloody dramas and spicy scenes. To the honor of the Americans, it should be noted that the pornographic nature of the pictures, so common in Russia, and in France even predominant, in America is completely unacceptable. There, cinema is only reasonable entertainment and a means for scientific and educational purposes.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №88307
 13.10.2013
[17:10:05] xxx: Father said the film should not be called Stalingrad, but the life of prostitutes during the years of occupation.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №88306
 13.10.2013
Dear citizens of the former Baltic republics, so hating the Russians. I wish you that, instead of us (as to us), come to you with an endless friendly visit "brothers" from the southern republics of the former USSR. With the welcome of "Occupant" with two hundred years of occupation experience.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №88305
 13.10.2013
Drunk and fucking.
He was drunk by an Israeli politician.
In the citation.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №88304
 13.10.2013
I sit by the window, opposite the building.
Next to the rack, I listen to the builders and their brigadier (mat dressed):
There is no water than concrete and beetle to grow?
Fuck, you know, but it should be!
All the brigade! No more boss!
...
I don’t want to live in such a house. % of (

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №88303
 13.10.2013
This treasure:

It didn’t hurt, and it did not hurt at all. It just surprises. and amusing.
Lol, I have not used condoms for 10 years - so far not my father. Where is your God now? Will you say that I am infertile?

Well... if you still regularly wash, then you are, in fact, the prototype of the vibrator of the future, with tangible, tactile, odor and other effects...
Take care of yourself, in the series, you don’t seem to go.


[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №88302
 13.10.2013
From WOW Forum:

XX: I tried to come up with names for my characters. My friend suggested a couple of options. For a few months I had Mercilon, Femoden and Lindinet. And only then I learned that these are the names of contraceptives.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №88301
 13.10.2013
To all of you:

to this:

From the website of sale b/u car:
Hello and urgently!!! I sell the car due to need (unexpected wedding - repayment of the loan)
— — —
An unexpected wedding...

When your girlfriend suddenly flies and refuses to do an abortion, a lot of unexpected things start to happen to you)))))

As the children. I am not tired of being surprised. When you’re crying without a condom, what do you hope for? Of course, for not getting pregnant. But even the last dumb piece and trick must realize that someday she will still get pregnant. Not today, but tomorrow. Are you ready to become fathers? No is? So instead of a bowl of jaggy or beer, take a prefix.
It didn’t hurt, and it did not hurt at all. It just surprises. and amusing.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №88300
 13.10.2013
to this

Lol, I have not used condoms for 10 years - so far not my father. Where is your God now? Will you say that I am infertile?

From onanism or homosexual relationships to father and not to become.
Or just impotence?

If so, a lot of options. Including: Yes, you are infertile or close to this (the chance of getting pregnant from you - "no"; you are incompatible with your partner in bed (this is sometimes - separately - healthy people, but when together - not fate); your (your?) The partner's brains are bigger, and they still use contraceptives.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №88299
 13.10.2013
If you are an atheist, then the meaning and goal for you is to be born, to survive, to multiply and to shrink as much as possible, and then to accumulate safely.

If you’re not an atheist, it’s the same.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №88298
 13.10.2013
I remember in my childhood the tooth hurt and my grandmother put a cotton with valerian on it)))) I then had a cat could be said courtyard))) and I was small))) but I won, and he did not go into my mouth with a bark! =) is

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №88297
 13.10.2013
Japanese in Kirov: in the sushi bar "Shire-Hari" :-) action - rolls of Philadelphia 2 times more under the name "FIGASE Philadelphia"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №88296
 13.10.2013
There is a cat Vaska on the boat. He walks where he thinks and himself, as he should, with a proudly raised head and a tail tube. But it is only worth the captain from the ruby on the loudspeaker to give the command of "Vaska, in place!"", as the brave Vasily plunges on the deck and knocks into the nearest open door.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №88295
 13.10.2013
I'm cute, and at 70 you're going to play computer too?
My husband yes. What prevents me? Can I raise my mouse?

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №88294
 13.10.2013
Old Demon:....the case was this summer in the country... the preamble - the septic is overcrowded and something needs to be resolved urgently....
...happy June morning, I stand near the cottage, absorb the nutritious rural air and admire the pastoral)))
Here to my happiness on the street goes a slightly familiar man, a child under two meters in height, very high, and just, to my happiness (or trouble) the driver of the only one on the entire circuit of the car-lift...
I said, “You’re driving a fucking car, right?
Well...
And I have no back or front thought:
Will you remove me?
O O O O
A three-second pause.... and a rage with obstacles through the fence began, announced to the whole district of his wild - "BLUE.... KILL SUQUUUUUU!!!!!" and my no less wild homeric laughter)))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №88293
 13.10.2013
Quote from onliner.by
Students of the factory district
Sergey especially remembered the black man
9th grade student: “Little as a monkey,
I didn’t do anything bad, I just loved it.
In the middle of the lesson shouting fascists
Slogans and putting your hand in the known
The gesture. Other children are always on it.
It was not politically correct:
“Close your black cave!”

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №88292
 13.10.2013
Defenders of the Post:
Before you go to the mountain of bricks about the work of the mail, remember how much you paid for its services. Less than small. A pity money. They give more to the poor. And what did you want?

I'll uncover the secret - the poor are given more because they don't lose packages and don't carry letters for 3 weeks within the same city. And what you call "services" is usually accompanied in Russian by the definition of "bear". Learn to work normally, you will also be paid for money. Just so, not the opposite.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №88291
 13.10.2013
From Yandex News
The Ukrainian who wounded the diplomat said he was intoxicated and hypnotized.
The Muggles commit crimes under the curse of Impero.The College of the Ministry of Magic will investigate the incident.

[ + 28 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88290
 13.10.2013
to this!

Advertising for the Army:
During the First World War, 90% of the soldiers and 10% of the civilians were killed. During the Second World War, 50% of the military and 50% of the civilians were killed. The 20th century ended with the bombing of Yugoslavia, during which 90% of civilians and 10% of soldiers were killed. The new millennium began with the war in Iraq. There are no accurate statistics on casualties, but more or less agree that the ratio of civilians killed to soldiers killed is 50 to 1.
Service in the army is your chance to survive the upcoming war

Five soldiers could be killed for one civilian. count as a percentage, as you want, we counted in people, and this nihua is not funny

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna