bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №84983
 31.07.2013
Discussion of the next bill on the Habrah:

I know that I think these are not laws, they are cries for help. Imagine a man who was locked in one of the huge rooms of the Kremlin many years ago. He has no other connection to the outside world except to lawmaking and television. And this person is trying to tell us something, something very important, but all the notes he passes out are not checked because they are not laws.
And now he’s trying to contact us in this way – he’s issuing crazy laws that are meant to encourage people to find that person and release him. And I think his strength is at an end, now he has fully invested in this last summer run. Man needs our help.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №84982
 31.07.2013
Advertising in the universe
Dean: I created it.
5x5 without leaves.
by Liu Bang.

[ + 28 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84981
 31.07.2013
Well, here’s my story about the mail) Sometimes it seemed that most stories were gently speaking exaggerated. No, it is much worse.
So, I had to send a package to Kazakhstan. It was so funny to see her on their website as she was 4 months (!No, he does not even travel through the vast spaces of the vast, but lies quietly in the distribution point. I got it back (and thank you for it!) with the wording "expired storage period" and the assurance that in Kazakhstan she visited, just no one took. But that’s not all, you won’t believe: there are traces of blood left on the packaging.
I do not know what to think. Is the Russian Post a secret religious organization that is engaged in sacrifices?
The packaging is kept for memory.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №84980
 31.07.2013
According to the news, Lukashenko caught in the river Pripyat soma weighing 57 kg.by :

Sum criticized Lukashenko's policy and ran to the Ukrainian border

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №84979
 31.07.2013
3dMax: Grey, are you here?
[14:07:10] Gray Nayada: here
[14:08:10] 3dMax: local ladies asked me a question
[14:08:21] 3dMax: why when a man sits, he looks at his penis
[14:10:15] Grey Naïda: inspects the appearance (all for you, cute women), the pressure of the stream, the color and the aesthetic indications or the spilled content.
[14:12:04] Gray Nayada: Plus we need to get into the toilet, not what babies, post not miss the ass by the point
[14:18:51] 3dMax: these five
[14:22:07] Grey Nayada: what is the audience’s option?
[14:22:11] 3dMax: but, they say, once I looked and turned away, I watched constantly
[14:22:18] 3dMax: young
[14:22:27] 3dMax
[14:22:37] Grey Nayada: offer to go together to see
[14:22:45] Grey Nayada: You won’t explain this
[14:23:10] 3dMax: Do you think all the downsides will disappear at once?
[14:23:55] Gray Nayada: Yes, you can always watch the water flow. So this is a local fragment of the eternity of the yellow color, generated by you and consumed by the cave monster.
[14:24:08] Grey Nayada: You have to look shorter
[14:29:36] 3dMax: Your answers delighted the local contingent

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84978
 31.07.2013
I went to the veterinarian for the first time.
What kind of cat do you have?
My mother is British, my father is a lawyer.
It will go far...

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №84977
 31.07.2013
After the army, food has only two parameters: how much it is and whether it is hot.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84976
 31.07.2013
My experience so far convinces me that there are two signs of the zodiac: Man-Man and Man-Fuck. I have no relationship with the second. c) the level

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84975
 31.07.2013
I don’t live at work, I’m gone.
2: You have a phone on Android and charging for it is only available at work.
1st Fuck it :(

[ + 14 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84974
 31.07.2013
You forgive me for being rude, but you’ve tried to call every woman who writes here a dumb shit and every man who writes here a goat! And stop crying about your family problems - for this there is a psychologist, and nobody will sympathize with it - they will only call and fuck!

And here people want to get distracted from work and honor something easy and non-obsessive!!! Stop the shit! Humor and jokes in the studio!

[ + 14 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84973
 31.07.2013
Just God gave us with you a different type of brain. My thinks in a certain way, and yours just balances your ass.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №84972
 31.07.2013
The humor of dieters. If your daily calorie intake is 2000 kcal, you can eat up to 4 kg of beets per day.

We had a soldier humor. American and Russian generals inspect the dining room.
The American:
The daily calorie intake of the American soldier’s food is 3000 kcal.
The Russian general thinks for a moment and then says:
“No, our soldier won’t eat that much trousers.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №84971
 31.07.2013
Russia is an amazing country. Here people with a salary of 150 thousand established a subsistence minimum for people with a salary of 6 thousand. It is physically impossible to live with this money for a month, at least because utilities make up 70% of this minimum. But they live, and they survive!

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84970
 31.07.2013
We have a positive company.
On the bench at the entrance stands a mini-flag with a flag with the name of the company.
On the sharp top of the flagship, a plush protein from the ice age is worn with a butt, which has open eyes. He has been there for at least six months.
And past the whole management (near the cabinet of the gentrician) and representatives of the customer.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №84969
 31.07.2013
Alexander: I didn’t seem to have noticed the massacre of the masochist.)
Tagged: masochist
Anastasia: masochist is already the master of the masochist order)))

[ + 39 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84968
 31.07.2013
I walk in the street and a police officer is in front of me. And here some car enters from the roadway to the sidewalk directly through the border and lawn. From the car flies out a man "two on two" and catches the police with one hand for the shovel, the other for the hair, and almost lifting it, pulls in the direction of the car. Out of the car comes a crying girl, with a flowing body, whispering with her nose. Man riding almost raising the mint semi-horizontal (!Then he asked her, “Is this?” and “Is this?”The girl negatively masks her head, shakes. The man releases mint (from the position in which he held it) and it just falls to the ground like a bag of potatoes. Both are in the car and on gas. The police officer for all this time did not say a word and still stood for a few minutes with his eyes shaken, trying to digest what it was at all. What else would you add? This is Russia, my child. Everything happens here...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №84967
 31.07.2013
Iren: I am excited to tell Mashe about the specificity of WOW
Iren: You know, there are conflicting factions: the Alliance and the Horde. Here our Renat plays for the Horde, and I for the Alliance.
Maria (with understanding): Well, a man named Renat was obliged by God himself to be... historically it was :)

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №84966
 31.07.2013
From their numerous sketches and heard American jokes, you can write them such an anecdote.

How many Americans are needed to turn a light bulb?
No one, they call the electric.
Isn’t he an American electric?
No to Mexican.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №84965
 31.07.2013
@userdie: Dear guests of the capital, respect our cultural traditions! We accept that menta beats citizens, not vice versa.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №84964
 31.07.2013
I was driving drunk in the subway home. I made a transplant on the ring (prospect of the world) through 4 stations I need to go out. Sitting in the car like a camouflage, through the dream I hear the train starts to brake, my mind controls everything, I start to strain my ear to understand where I am going, everything is under control.
I hear - carefully the doors are closed next station Riga, I think you can still sleep, time passes, I again exacerbate the hearing - carefully the doors are closed after the station Riga, I think you can still stick, after some time again the same. I start to get stressed in the middle of the dream.
Again, the train brakes, cautiously announce the doors closing the next Riga station. I made it, how did I get a fool?
What a dishonor is going on to cheat, what a joke of a fox, a bubble of hooks I think, I get up in all my height ready to go out to squeeze these demons, I look around... and I sleep in the subway on the bench on the platform.

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