bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №87022
 14.09.2013
The forum discusses the pros and cons of life in North Korea.

There are no Jews in the DPRK.
YYY: there would be no Koreans there if there were no border guards :)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №87021
 14.09.2013
First she is a fairy, then a witch, then a witch. And then the witch"

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №87020
 14.09.2013

The xxx:
fucking
to see
? to

and ZZZ:
With your love for realism and logic, just look out the window.
All the laws of physics are observed.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №87019
 14.09.2013
One night after work, I found the root of injustice.

I realized that there are people who work and will work for a lifetime: my parents, my boss, and my good friend, Zhenya. Those whose material wealth depends directly on their energy consumption.

And there are people (like and not bad in themselves) who have never worked anywhere and have done anything, as if they were born in a smoking with silver pants: the children of academics, generals and Soviet deputy ministers, like my former scientist, the boss of my boss, and my neighbor from above.
And then it became annoying that such injustice has happened, up to tears...

But when my wandering gaze fell on the bed, I remembered that my beloved had a big and beautiful chest. A dull smile immediately reigned on my face, there was peace in my soul, despite hellish fatigue, and I wanted to just cling to her and fall asleep, and in the morning to drink tea and invite my neighbor for ice cream, despite the class differences.

Note: look for good in the little things, eat ice cream and love breasts =)))

[ + 20 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87018
 14.09.2013
XX: Do you know what will never happen?
Friday 13th in the 13th month of the 13th year.
But from June 6, in the 66th year, our descendants will probably not turn away.

YYY: It will be necessary to get out of the monument this day to see how the descendants are doing there.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №87017
 14.09.2013
At a parental meeting at the school, the director first stated that the lyceum was in the 100 best schools of Russia, somewhere around 70th place. He then told me about the visit of the prosecutor. Investigators investigated why students scored above average. That is, if they are badly taught, then all the norms, and if well, then something is wrong... Well, nothing terrible was found and left with peace. But the fact is shit!!! to

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №87016
 14.09.2013
After a long search, I finally found out: a halloween costume should not be sought on request "halloween costume", but on request "high fashion"!

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87015
 14.09.2013
I try to involve my husband to help me in the household, but my husband, as usual, plays Heroes and I am not, silence, all afterwards.

When you choose a husband, choose one who doesn’t play computer games.
Do you want the computer to be free?
and :(

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №87014
 14.09.2013
From AWD Forum:

Everything has happened, but one case is remembered especially. January is the month of the unfortunate 98th year, Prague-Moscow flight. Among the last passengers on board is the famous psychotherapist Kashpirovsky. As late, he was rewarded with a voucher in the very tail, in the smoking salon (at the time, Aeroflot was still smoking). The plane takes off, the relaxed people drink beer, eat lunch - and smash in the tail with a slim tabun, smoke. In a few minutes, the smoke curtain. Irritated Kashpirovsky makes a comment to somebody: "Could you not smoke in my direction?", "What is the answer of a stifled neighbor: "And you smoke with your hands - smoke and dissolve." The curtain.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №87013
 14.09.2013
In comments to the video:
xxx: I stood applauding the monitor, BRAVO Mikhail!
yyy: Fuck, and I didn’t even bother to give my monk a name...

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №87012
 14.09.2013
Acrolamp
Is there an Ashan in Paris? O_O
Reply to

po2vetal
What if I told you it was a French network!? to
Reply to

Gerzog
At the time, I was shocked by this fact. For some reason I thought it was something like this: “Hey, shining Ashan, how will we call the store? Just like me, Ashan. Is it beautiful?"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №87011
 14.09.2013
Yulmart, comment on the Philips Xenium X333 phone (orthography and puncture saved):

Benefits: 1.5 years of work without complaints!charge once a week (2 sims I say a lot), fell on the road, walked on the road, but it works! swam in a cage with water! works!(3 x TIFU not to match)5+++++++

Disadvantages: There is no laser to cut!

Overall impressions: Very positive!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №87010
 14.09.2013
I haven’t had sex so long ago that I’m ready to put my hand on myself.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №87009
 14.09.2013
Nika: Here’s the new iPhone and the girls are thinking about how to pump it... And I what? And I’m married, I still need to pump a new refrigerator.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №87008
 14.09.2013
The wife tells her sister how she put her one-year-old son to sleep:
He’s already lying down, his eyes closed, like he’s falling asleep... It’s 40 seconds – a week! - jumped, slept in no eye, cheerful, played all...
Without disconnect from the comp:
- Probably the apps jumped, installed and restarted...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №87007
 14.09.2013
At the chemistry exam, the teacher calls a guy, looking at the sheet, says:"no. Well, these are two... although... here you can fix it, let’s see what you can do...". 20 minutes passed, Prep forgot it entirely and looked at the sheet again:
No, these are two...
You said to fix it here.
Well and what?
Here I corrected.
Well, now exactly two...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №87006
 14.09.2013
Discussion of the article on blocking by Roskomnadzor
The big porn:

This is where a good porn can be found! Thanks for the clue! and :)
yyy: Wait another hour and the article can be placed in the bookmarks as a collection of links to porn resources.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №87005
 14.09.2013
Will we ever eat it?
Made a delicious chicken in tomato with pepper, onion, garlic and herbs. The wife made a wonderful rice with carrots and saffron. A lot of chicken and less rice. have eaten.
On the second day, in order not to lose good, added corn to rice. have eaten.
Today (on the third day) there was little chicken (i.e. not at all, but the garment for spices was already painfully good), so that the good didn't disappear, added crushed meat from the soup. There was little rice with corn. Added beans in tomatoes. and em.
The question! Does this dish at least theoretically ever end? and :)

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №87004
 14.09.2013
To the ugly male "apple" women answered no less ugly "God, what a man!..."

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №87003
 14.09.2013
My grandmother is mastering the computer, sitting, looking for pictures on the Internet. Antivirus is issuing a warning. I don’t know exactly what, but something about the harmful P.O. Grandma, seeing this, issued a phrase that I barely fell under the table:
It’s bad, badly damaged!
So I wanted to add "Listen, Master Shifu" XD

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