bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №87061
 15.09.2013
Sometimes I look at which cars are parked in places for disabled people and I understand that this layer is the most secure in our country.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №87060
 15.09.2013
"Intel revealed a processor running on alcohol"

Bite my shiny metal ass! © Bender

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №87059
 15.09.2013
to this:
The article "Intel showed a processor running on alcohol":
At a conference focused on developers, Intel Corporation demonstrated an unusual prototype of the processor. A glass of wine is sufficient for the chip to work, from which the processor draws energy using a pair of electrodes.

***************

Bender’s time will soon come.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №87058
 15.09.2013
In the evening, the son (11 years old) plays minecraft on the network with friends, has fun talking on Skype, they all carry on the map together.
I am a husband:
"Look, how well - the son at home, does not smoke, does not mourn - but as if on the street with boys runs, walks...
A man looks at his son in the screen and says:
It is hell.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №87057
 15.09.2013
Question: How to get into the stupor of an aircraft engineer for food?
Answer: Ask him when he last trusted a plate and a spoon.
Question: Do you know how to distinguish an aircraft engineer from the rest of the crowd?
Answer: It is necessary to say loudly: "Let’s hide the counter and so do it!". The engineer stops.
He sits down a little, becomes pale and begins to look scared!

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №87056
 15.09.2013
I look at these court tracker bans, these brilliant internet laws. They are crazy like little children. The internet is banned. Go first to ban flooding in the Far East. Do the exercise, ah.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №87055
 15.09.2013
ARCHEMID: Give me a point of support and I will turn the world.

Give me the sources.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №87054
 15.09.2013
Official correspondence between the customer (Z) and the contractor (I).

Q: We do not share your optimism about the project’s progress. All reasonable deadlines have passed.
A: You do not list payments within the agreed time.
A: Under the contract, payments are listed upon delivery of certain stages of work. What are the payments if there are no results?
A: This is an ordinary picture. So the chair in the morning and the money in the evening? On the contrary, not at all?
A: You are totally fooled! What is the chair??? We seem to have ordered the Hangar project from you!!!!! to
and baby.

[ + 34 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87053
 15.09.2013
I saw at all the post about "added Red Bull to coffee".Because of its stupidity, apparently incurable, I decided to try.Just I didn't pour red bull coffee, and, sock, I decided to drink.Make a strong coffee, put a bottle of energy and started to drink.More disgusting taste my mouth did not feel,but "in the name of science"drinked everything.Now I not only see the time, but I hear how terribly loud the clock, and the fan in my compact, looks like an old maize, who is trying to take off.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Do not translate idiots. Immediately I remembered the zephyr in the microwave, it was fun.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №87052
 15.09.2013
From internal correspondence:
xxx: Yeah, you are there, you woke up at the end of something, the e-mail went 12 days from the Moscow administration to Irkutsk. Server logs are attached.
YYY: Yes, we have experimented here with the speed of the electromagnetic wave in the vacuum, we forgot to return the settings back.
xxx: Post of Russia, grinding... Permanent Planck at least not touched, I hope?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №87051
 15.09.2013
From the hub, outrage over the new YouTube interface:

Mithgol: First they hired an unprecedented number of pedestrians for a raised salary, and then the interface became, what is called, “through the ass.” Is there no connection here?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №87050
 15.09.2013
Why is the 64-bit processor in the new iPhone? What did the old man not like?
Yyy: Well, you’re like a blonde: 64 is more than 32? That is cooler!
xxx: But 86 is more than 64! So back to the first question...

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87049
 15.09.2013
We play the same game at home with relatives: we approach the sleeping cat and guess which side of the head.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №87048
 15.09.2013
Fuck, I envy these "poor" students and others who eat peelings, and there is no money, you have to cook soups and eat.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №87047
 15.09.2013
and lies! Do you think of reporting? No matter how much the rope is woven, it is always...
It ends with a loop...

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №87046
 15.09.2013
xxx: marketers introduce extracts into cosmetics ranging from pearl extract and ending with silk extract and nano diamonds in shampoo.

yyy: Extract from frog skin - to increase moisture.
Extract of butterfly wings - to increase brightness.
Angry cucumbers extract - for activity and revitalization.
Extract of bull grain - to increase endurance.
P.S. I almost forgot it. Extract from football balls - for smoothing wrinkles.

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №87045
 15.09.2013
_ desade (19:00) :
A to go now.
I almost finished the salt.
No one has ever washed the sauce to get all the salt out.

Bars_rb 19:01) :
and)))
Cry in the pot.

_ desade (19:25) :
I was able!! I was able!!! to
I swept the grass...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №87044
 15.09.2013
In the bank. The manager shows the chief's desk to replace.
Looking at the lock in the closet:
Well, I have to hit him...
Manager (not thinking): Yes, you should...or are you about the castle?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №87043
 15.09.2013
In 1664 British scientists stated that a new disease was "just a plague."

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №87042
 15.09.2013
... but in practice (especially with VC compilers) there is a bunch of underwater grabbing.

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