bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №95399
 16.03.2014
I learned to steal in school, after the teacher of work taught us - if you want to get a fifth, bring something valuable from home.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №95398
 16.03.2014
In September 2013, a bicycle was stolen.
On March 7, I sit at home, knocking at the door, there are two in shape:
"Hello, We from the Police, came to investigate the crime scene..."
I feel it will come in December. The hot tracks of the thief were not found.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №95397
 16.03.2014
As a person familiar with the ases of marketing, I want to shake the hand of the one who first came up with advertising through a speaker on our city buses.
...And as a common man, forced to regularly use public transportation, I would give this genius a shield from the helicopter.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №95396
 16.03.2014
The news:
In Canada, police brutally dispersed a rally of protesters against police brutality, about 300 people were detained.

XXX is recurring.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №95395
 16.03.2014
Here you and people with disabilities, and got more medals than people with all extremities. Even the hockeys took second. Only the United States lost. Now I want to ask: who is the disabled?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №95394
 16.03.2014
xxx: I remember, at 14 years old I already had the internet, and the brains are not very much yet. I then received a divorce letter from an Arab girl, whose evil people took away the legacy of Popeye, half of which she promised me if I listed her a little money, bla bla... well, I didn’t have any money at the time, but to the girl I felt sympathetic and wrote her a long penetrating letter in which she told her about herself, wished her good luck in the struggle for her legacy and promised that she could write to me at any time, I listened to her and understood. I apologized for my bad English.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №95393
 16.03.2014
There are no favourites in the family row to wash dishes.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №95392
 16.03.2014
This is :

Tell me please!
Where is the most mysterious place "Habr", from which all these scary jokes are taken? "Give up" not to offer! and :)

Well, try Yandex, what the fuck is not a joke.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №95391
 16.03.2014
From Yandex maps:
"Be mutually polite, dear drivers are your pedestrian"
The first comment:
"AAA and AAA!!! Kegla in the chat!"

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №95390
 16.03.2014
11 of 11). Venice wants to separate from Italy
by 2222). by :O
by 2222). The Crimean Bite?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №95389
 16.03.2014
You want to - offend yourself, but now you are an indiscriminate cheap girl, enjoying the dirt of another man, and proud of it. It would be something
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
This is what you covered! It can be said in one word: b.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №95388
 16.03.2014
I read here that March 16th is the day of pofigmma. I already wanted to send congratulations to someone, and then I realized that I was really off.
by nsm@

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №95387
 16.03.2014
Sunday in the morning. On the children's playground on the bottles is a bottle from under the Baltics 7.
I: How organically it fits in here.
No, it’s not for children to drink, really!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №95386
 16.03.2014
About "Y"
So I understood that if the letter "Y" is banned, then the great film of Gaida will either be banned or renamed into:
"Operation "It Can't Be Called" and the Other Adventures of Shurik"

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95385
 16.03.2014
- You are not very worried, because people not only live without a kidney, but also without a member.
Who lives without a member?
Half of people.
– to?
and women.

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №95384
 16.03.2014
Can I ask you what your view is of the events in Ukraine?
Muddha Boatama: This is pornography.
The whole of Ukraine is burning by rebellion. The government is slowly leaving.
And then Pu gently introduces his troops into it. They begin to move...

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95383
 16.03.2014
to this

-------
Stop the planet, I’ll go down.
XX: I sit on forums for young people and not very mom (well, I’m preparing for a young mother’s life). I have in the questionnaire signed that by education I am a doctor (although it is not stated that a psychiatrist).

XX: I am afraid that these people are giving birth to someone, and even worse. My child learns and lives with them.

XX: Virgo asks me as a specialist: “How do I need to lie down to get pregnant after sex?” According to her, the sperm should flow into one of the ovaries.

The second is interested in whether it is true that her child will consist of the genes of different people, because her husband is not the first, and she has read that all of their genes remain in her uterus until conception.

XX: Part of themes are devoted to horoscopes and Orthodoxy. Sometimes one topic discusses how to baptize and what to do if the mother is a lamb, the father is a body, and the child is a cancer.

XX: Share with each other fantastic recipes "how to fly unnoticed" and "how to cure cancer with chamomile infusion".

XX: And those people are all by my side! Aaaahah!

--------
Think positively. So much for a doctor!! and ;)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №95382
 16.03.2014
Theoretically :

In a relationship, there is no one to blame (he is a goat, and I am a beauty). Maybe you should sit down and think, and what is it really lacking? Why have a mistress?

Sometimes he is a goat, she is beautiful, and sometimes she is a goat, and he is a beautiful man. It is unclear what these beautiful guys had in mind when they were getting involved with this livestock in family life.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №95381
 16.03.2014
We had a soft toy – a bull that spoke when you kicked it or hit it. It contains about 7 short sentences. In general, my husband and I have a complete romance, the process of X is in the midst and here this shit falls and cries: Oh you! is great!

To say that all the mood and desire for the mark, nothing to say!
___
It is easy to confuse you... how many similar situations have been described here, but they are reduced to the fact that the fly has flown - there was no sex. You probably didn’t want it, and it’s just an excuse to cancel the talk.)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №95380
 16.03.2014
The homes of the pilots of the missing Malaysian Boeing-777 were searched - but the missing Boeing has never been found.

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