bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №87222
 19.09.2013
I can’t quietly listen to the song of the Moral Code "Where are you", because the subconscious automatically replaces the text with idiotic variants of rhythms, as a result, instead of the original, it results:
Where are you, you throw tomatoes, you bite cakes?
Where are you, painting posters, reading newspapers?
Where do you, counting the ducats, check the tickets?
Where are you, digging bats, breaking parks?
Where do you eat salads, wash cassettes?
- Where are you, take machines, shoot pickets;
Where are you, washing your clothes, blowing up your bags?
and other nonsense to loss of pulse.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №87221
 19.09.2013
An hour ago I was driving, and with the boss on the phone scratch, and he, if honestly already got me, 15 minutes hanging on the telephone, can not independently connect the second monitor, asks constantly... And at the entrance to the house, I am cut by the same gazelle for the third time. Which runs from number to number. And I forgot loudly so I say, "Bla as you have already taken me," and the silence immediately in the phone. Pause is like this... I took a break and realized that it was not right.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №87220
 19.09.2013
The iPhone, like a triper, first to the president, then to the whole village...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №87219
 19.09.2013
From the discussion of the cancellation of the cumulative part of the pension in the Habr (by the way, do not forget to go to the PF and declare that you are not taken 6%):
Just123i: What is the lottery with co-financing?
Edward Spec: You give the state 12 thousand, and it gives itself 12 thousand. See how profitable.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №87218
 19.09.2013
Astrologers announced September. The number of quotes from first-class students is doubled.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №87217
 19.09.2013
Are there no courageous, courageous men here??? Do you have a good time to sleep?"""""?! to
With such spelling and in the mouth - dangerous!

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №87216
 19.09.2013
Two children run through the office, a dog and an aitišnik, a creator in the middle of the hall paints a full-length tree layout, a colleague from the print checks samples of soap bubbles, my desk hid under the superhero costume catalogues. How we make money is unknown.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87215
 19.09.2013
XXX: stopped at the hotel, went to the toilet at night, scared in the darkness of her white T-shirt on the hangover, held over herself.
In the bathroom I remembered that I didn’t have a white shirt!
xxx: I have been sitting on the push for half an hour, afraid to go out, I am cold and hard, what to do?

[ + 32 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87214
 19.09.2013
to this:

In fact, a really uncomfortable feeling is when there is nothing to do to register on a dating site and you encounter your girlfriend, who is online and is looking for a cute, kind and smart guy.

Really uncomfortable feeling is when the same, but on the site of prostitutes...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №87213
 19.09.2013
The little girl, when she was 6 years old, was very upset that all the dolls she had girls and no one boy. And here, on the next birthday, the money given by my grandmother bought a desired boy. Immediately after the purchase, I decided to go to the clothes shops. This miracle carefully looks at the pieces in one of the departments and suddenly with a ringing voice declares: "Well, here! Could buy this shirt, and all the money spent on a man!" From the department we splashed under the amazed eyes of the sellers, trying not to rust in the whole voice...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №87212
 19.09.2013
Comments on "Avatar"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
YYY: When will there be a normal doubling?
YYY: And the girl is not dirty and without a gunshot on the forehead?
XX: Could it be elsewhere with a bullet and a bullet?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №87211
 19.09.2013
XXX: Give 5 thousand
Where do you have such healthy grandmothers? Will the house buy?
xxx: g
Buying the City? O_O
XXX: The
A hydroelectric power plant?
XXX: Git
The resurrection of Hitler? O_O
XXX: The Gita
Going to India with Princess Gita?
XXX: The Guitar
YYY: I’ve already tried all the options... strange. Did you really dig a guitar dinosaur?
Xxx: Guitar :D Idiot
yyy : ) )

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №87210
 19.09.2013
The child poured about 1 liter of water in the room. Broke a non-closed bottle... How to dry the wool floor cover?
You can try to clean the dust.
- It is scary to tell how Google released images on request "dust cleaner";

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №87209
 19.09.2013
What to eat or drink to not want to sleep?
Yyy: milk with cucumbers :)

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №87208
 19.09.2013
XXX: Dad stop here! You do everything wrong!
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY My own sperm teaches me life.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №87207
 19.09.2013
1st In the spring there was a story - sick some kind of fig: rash, fever, azzki hurt the joints. The therapist suggested rubella or measles, the pediatrician added some simplex, pseudotuberculosis, in short, gave a lot of blood and waited for a week for the results of the tests. It turned out, everything was clean, none of the versions was confirmed. I come to the therapist for a repeat appearance, already almost alive, but they said to come, and interestingly, fucking. There is a strong uncle. He has a computer on his table. He looks at me, I look at him... and I understand that he can’t say anything to me. And that would be nothing more, but here an uncle with a smart vision opens Yandex and begins to pick up my sick O_O. Nothing, by the way, does not fit. We split up on the conclusion "seems to be some kind of virus". I leave in some confusion.

2nd The next day I am sick again. The temperature breaks, but it doesn’t hurt. The doctor comes. The other. He is listening. "The lungs breathe, the heart beats... "It says - "well, ARVI doesn’t look like". He plunges into silence and I understand that again he doesn’t know what to say. In my head flashes the egregious thought "And Yandex-that I will not give you!But here a smart-looking uncle gets a tablet out of the bag. Open the Google!! to
We sit for ten minutes, he googles, I polite silence, then I suggest "Maybe this is a virus?" - "Yes, of course. It is possible."
Separated for nothing.

And here I sit, like in that joke, and honestly think about what kind of engineer I am.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №87206
 19.09.2013
Calm me, I’m going to start blowing people up.
WOW :?? to
xxxh: hanging dumb chickens in our group that crack and interfere with the feast
Wave the puzzles, say that if you hear them again, you will tear them off the sticks and put them in the ass. Eggs can not be carried afterwards.
I did not ask for radical advice, but for reassurance. But it is even better :)
Good day to you :)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №87205
 19.09.2013
discussions in the gardens.
You are a journalist, right? Hide this topic!
- Sanom I did not go out - themes to sanctify, and the article can be written...

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №87204
 19.09.2013
Samba is news. "Scientists have found nuts in the center of the galaxy"
Samba: The First Thought
Sambuka: soon in theaters. "Ice Age 5 - The Heart of the Galaxy"
Sambuka: and the protein in the scarfanders

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №87203
 19.09.2013
I want a robot vacuum cleaner.
xxx: In the sense, not as a robot, not as a vacuum cleaner, but as a device.
YYY: Messie knows a lot.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna