bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №88694
 22.10.2013
Comments under the news about the release of the U.S. Army Android app for calling air support:
“Smith, have we just gone to Washington?! to
“Sorry Sir, I have a smartphone with a resolution of 320x240.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №88693
 22.10.2013
I read local news on the internet:
“In Saratov, a dog shot a man...” And then the advertisement: “the opening of the most modern center for the desertification of dogs”
A little bit of awareness of what happened.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №88692
 22.10.2013
@alisa_dorian: Childhood is a magical time when you can press a gun without a gun.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №88691
 22.10.2013
The real story. It was a week ago. A friend went to rest with his father for a week in Spain.
The next day, they got drunk, went up to their hotel floor and confused the rooms. A man and a grandmother are on the threshold. It seemed to us that someone was breaking into their room to steal things. The man was broken, the lady called local cops. They were taken to the local KPZ before investigation. They spent the night there.
The lawyer of the victim arrived. I began to find out – who are they? from where? Didn't the wife of the victim pay them for the punishment of her husband on the subject of betrayal?
My friend doesn’t speak Spanish, but my father knew... talked to a lawyer. It became clear that they drunk broke into a local deputy who came to the hotel to have fun with his mistress.
Father and son were released from the KPZ without charges. Each receives 2 euros for silence. A friend called to work, which takes another week at his expense :)

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №88690
 22.10.2013
A resident of California filed a lawsuit against the corporation for spontaneously downloading an image of iOS 7 on his device. He is upset that the file takes up useful space on the drives and demands to remove it, as well as compensate for the damage.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №88689
 22.10.2013
by Victoria: 16 And you?

Maxim: I’m already old... count) I finished universe in January)

Is it... 23?

Maxim to Bingo

See also T-DAM.

The old yes?

Victoria: Well why) My girlfriend has a cat of 21, and she doesn’t think it’s old.

Maxim: Of course, he did not end the universe! >_<

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №88688
 22.10.2013
Video of how the expensive SUV drowned in the boiler. The first comment: "no bit is not painted, one master..."

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №88687
 22.10.2013
My daughter has been teaching poetry in the kindergarten for 6 years, and we are working with a logopedist in parallel.
- In the costume of the Pest-Lou-gold, autumn is coming to us in the hall, like the PlycLast face of the Flying Ball!
I tell her: be careful and pronounce the letter well"R"
The girl repeats with great effort:
In the Pratija PestRo-zoRotist, autumn comes to us in the morning, as the PrekRastnaya Tsarica opened the bar.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №88686
 22.10.2013
The country needs to know its heroes. Those principles and methods on which the current post of Russia works have been actively developed and implemented:
Filiuk Alexei and Nina of Mogilev.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №88685
 22.10.2013
Varie: I understood that I had overtaken the “Vampire Masquerade” when I was seriously wondering if I should go down to the sewer.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №88684
 22.10.2013
I went to a beauty salon today. Some of the letters do not burn. As a result, in the darkness of the night, the mysterious establishment of Hohla-Pasechnik with the name "Salo Soty" shines with red letters.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88683
 22.10.2013
Ikea: Return to Old Traditions. 3 bedroom sofa.
The Tradition, Ch.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №88682
 22.10.2013
The Great Firewall of China – 10 million Chinese people are sitting and filtering packages.

The Great Russian Firewall – 10 million Russians.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №88681
 22.10.2013
Next year will be a blue wooden horse and we decided that it would be enough to meet NG with blue.

[ + 17 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88680
 22.10.2013
Prep by Matan:
Here Katya walked along the road and turned into a sausage.
Isn’t it the same?
It does not happen here.
You write without understanding what.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88679
 22.10.2013
by this:

I watch a movie, it doesn’t matter which one. The maniac murderer is sentenced to death by hanging, but before that he must wait for two years in prison. - and -

Well, this is the same special law: 2 years in case of new circumstances. But suddenly it turns out that the maniac is not really him, but he has already been killed. And what will the investigators say:"Oh, sorry, the mistake came out?". The USSR had the same rules.

[ + 38 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88678
 22.10.2013
on Khabrah xxx posted a screenshot of his desktop with win HR

YYY: Windows XP, Nero, Word 2003 - such nostalgia hit immediately :)
XXX: It all rotates on the Pentium 4...
zzz: Nearby lies the newspaper “Soviet Sport”, from the patheton “Songwriters” are played, and on the table – a sausage stick for 3.20?

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №88677
 22.10.2013
Transitional ball for pensions:

And if I didn’t work an official day, would I still be out of retirement?
Paganets: Julia, yeah, you didn’t make any deductions. But don’t worry, those who did, too, will stay without retirement :)

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №88676
 22.10.2013
I give the laptop to a man older than the master. We adjust the fingerprint so that the laptop recognizes the new owner. First, please pass the scanner with the index finger of the right hand. He conducts.
Now give the index finger of your left hand. I tell him.
Why the Left? The Master is surprised.
If you have something happening with your index finger on your right, you cut it there, and there will be a patch instead of a fingerprint, you can go to the left. I give my colleague an argument.
Should I put my middle finger? I feel more comfortable with my right hand.
– No to! Suddenly with your right hand everything will happen, yet we have construction...
What if I had both hands?! to
If something happens to you with both hands, why do you need a laptop?! to

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №88675
 22.10.2013
Oh yeah... and humor. I stumbled the darkest humor of the ambulances.
You have not seen the workers of the morga! Carrying around the city, with a sirene, with an infectious corpse, and screaming under a magnetophone, the aria is a death machine.

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