bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №82080
 27.05.2013
XHHH: Hello, say the number of Nasti, or I lost!and ((
Hello, the same
I am =))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №82079
 27.05.2013
Entertainment in the SPB:

"Do you already know where to go tomorrow in Peter?"

XXX: Go to work

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №82078
 27.05.2013
I needed transportation assistance, agreed with a companion who has a car, I call him at the appointed time:
I: Hi, what are you doing?
T is drinking.
I: Oh, what do I do now?! to
Drink too.

[ + 6 - ] Comment quote №82077
 27.05.2013
If I were to come, would you not feed me, drink me, and sleep me?

Noah, I’m back home :D

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82076
 27.05.2013
I think people have forgotten how to get KDE under FreeBSD.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №82075
 27.05.2013
xxx: I came across an article about twins. Among the twins, every fifth is left-handed, while among the right-handed the left-handed is twice as small.
XXX: How is it?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №82074
 27.05.2013
Yesterday I said to my wife in the presence of a seven-year-old son:"You went to the neighbor’s house, you will rest there, and I will help him to dig (in the sense of crawling the garden)".
Son immediately "I will also dig" and in a second to me - in a conspiracy tone: "What will we look for?"

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82073
 27.05.2013
What does the cat do?
The cat is sleeping
Is he sleeping next to you?
YYY: Nea
YYY: somewhere
How do you know he’s sleeping?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Yyy: Maybe he doesn’t sleep.)
Yyy: But usually he sleeps 23 hours a day.

[ + 52 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82072
 27.05.2013
Yesterday at the country, the aunt asked for the first time in his life to kill the chicken...well, I gathered such with the strength, I think - I am a man of yupta! shorter with sorrow half cut) the truth is all in the blood, but so even cooler))))
And today I dreamed of a dream, the chicken looks at me with sadly overwhelmed eyes and says...Wow, well, you fuck me like that? And I look at her and don’t understand what makes me more embarrassed, that I’m not a Vova or that I’m not a Nahuya? ?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №82071
 27.05.2013
Brake on the light...the inscription on the luggage bag of the dirty car in front:
"I will not wash! She is punished! For what? It is out!"

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №82070
 27.05.2013
I bought Bounty, I come home, I ask my sister:
Do you like Bounty?
The sister:
If you give it to me, I love it.
I am :
What if I don’t give?
The sister:
If you don’t, you’re an infection!! to

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №82069
 27.05.2013
I like our forums.
In American asked something - answered in the first two or three messages and all - the topic closed.
And in Russian, you will be asked why you do this and not the other way, will offer alternative options, will touch on some issues, remotely similar and not similar to yours. You will learn something new, in general information - the sea! It usually helps.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №82068
 27.05.2013
I decided to go with a friend to Minsk on vacation. Letter to a friend of Belarus:
Faith: I will arrive on June 22 at about five in the morning.
Just like the Germans in the 41st.)
Believe me, I hope we get rid of it.
Less victims from ours and yours.
The sides.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №82067
 27.05.2013
The manager has my own opinion on all matters.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №82066
 27.05.2013
The Modern Politics:
People will say yes, yes.
People say no, people think badly.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82065
 27.05.2013
XX: Everyone should do what he is intended to do and what he does best.
Yyy: I sleep badly, but they rarely pay for it.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №82064
 27.05.2013
In youth you want to wake up famous, in old age you just want to wake up.

[ + 39 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82063
 27.05.2013
Theatre for them. He was on a tour in Tbilisi. Galli Dashevskaya, a Georgian student, invited her to the house where Georgian intellectuals gathered. Well, of course, toasts, healthcars - from respect for Gale, mostly in Russian. And closer to the end of the evening they argued: who of the present did more for Georgia. Some mercenary immediately established a prize for the winner: a box of the best cognac! Passions burned out ridiculously: someone was proud of his painting, someone a monument, someone a literary translation... Dashevskaya listened and listened, then got courage and stood up. “Forgive me,” she said, “but I think my family has done most of you for Georgia!” “Yes! Galia continued. “During the replay for the USSR football championship in the match “CSKA” – “Dynamo” (Tbilisi) my husband, CSKA midfielder Kolya Manoshin, scored the only goal... in his gates, and “Dynamo” (Tbilisi) became the champion of the USSR for the first time!”
Under the shouting cries in both languages to the glory of Manoshin, the prize box was immediately handed over to Gale Dashevskaya.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №82062
 27.05.2013
The picket "World Without Cosmetics", consisting of unpainted women, scared the gay parade, the OMON and the shabbas of Satanists.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №82061
 27.05.2013
We had a case.
Alcoholists wrecked in the apartment on the 5th floor of the 5th floor. One of them smoked on the balcony and accidentally crashed "out of board". He fell on the club.
The runners see that he is breathing, made to feel. He opens his eyes and says, “But how fucking I’m... Give me a cigarette!”
He said, “You fell from the fifth floor. Lie down and don’t move! Call an ambulance now!"
He replied: "What are you chewing on me? What 5 floor? Someone gave me a fuck and fuck me! I talked to you all! This is a wolf! exactly! What do I do with him?" - I got up and went to the 5th floor...
No one stopped him, justly deciding that it would not be worse for him.

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