bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87981
 06.10.2013
After a book on discrete mathematics, he discovered the Gospel of John.
I found contradictions in the first two statements.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №87980
 06.10.2013
Installed accidentally some nonsense from mail.ru, used to remove - gives me a dialog box: "Do you really want to remove the Internet?". I was thinking...

[ + 28 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87979
 06.10.2013
日本古来の知恵 - ancient Japanese wisdom.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №87978
 06.10.2013
Not yet very quickly becomes too late.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №87977
 06.10.2013
xxx: about the age difference - my girlfriend at the resort met a guy from Serbia. She is 36, and he is only 29.
Serbian and young!

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №87976
 06.10.2013
At the driving courses after the first lecture in medicine, two girls approached the doctor.
D1: You know, I have a problem like this... In short, I’m stuck in the car.
A lot of passengers are stumbling!
D1: No, he is driving me!
Doctor: Oh, maybe you shouldn’t get the right?

D2: Sometimes I turn off.
Doctor: O O O O O How do you turn off? Are you losing consciousness?
D2: No, I am conscious, but the body does not listen, literally for a moment, nothing terrible!

P.S Everyone has the right :(

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №87975
 06.10.2013
1) I have a friend. Everything is called style. Well, Styles and Styles, we are all used to it.
Just calling her a girlfriend was not a very good idea.
2) I have a friend named Mouse, such a roastman with draads and a beard. It’s hard to guess how the girl was called.

Immediately recall the old observation that if a girl is called a Mouse, sooner or later to her guy will be attached to the name of Wuglyskre.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №87974
 06.10.2013
"I am looking for one, the only one!"
I don’t think there will be a second such fool.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №87973
 06.10.2013
In the morning, I did not sleep. I wash my foam, take my toothbrush and try to remember how I shaved it before.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №87972
 06.10.2013
HH: How are you? How to work?
YYY: As usual, what about you?
HH: Yes, nothing out of a number of outgoing.
Yyy: This is such an ordinary fresh life we lived with you without alcohol.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №87971
 06.10.2013
I cleaned my apartment yesterday. It turned out that the cute puffy that stood next to the bed and where I put the note was half a bag of cement.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №87970
 06.10.2013
Do you know how to make a zombie apocalypse?
......
We need to publish cartoons of Muhammad in all printed publications at the same time :)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №87969
 06.10.2013
A friend took 1,000 rubles from you, returned 500 and then tells everyone how he favored you. What will you do? Fill the mouth! It is right. But why does the leadership of Russia continue to vote in such a case?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №87968
 06.10.2013
From the discussion of the Galaxy Note III Dual on 4PDA:
SSN1982: Pushing up poverty
Pray, it will stop

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №87967
 06.10.2013
Corey Taylor: Fuck, I took a 2nd cat yesterday. was free
Corey Taylor: brought, they ran around the corner. At first he was scared, and she spit on him.
Corey Taylor: Then he was afraid of me and stopped reacting to her
Corey Taylor: Then she went out to see him.
Corey Taylor: Now they mock, walk the goose and are friends with me =(

[ + 35 - ] [8 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87966
 06.10.2013
I live outside of Russia for the second year. I felt a fundamental difference now. I go by bicycle at night on the edge of the motorway (asphalt is better than on the pedestrian), I listen to music. Once - at my level is a police car, they show that I have to drive to the side. I turn, and in my head the thought, like a reflex, "whether it were not taken," developed during the years of life in Russia, especially no documents were with him. have stopped. Fear and tension gather in the legs and hands, causing them to tremble a little. It all ended pretty nice - asked to continue on the pedestrian path and gave a catapult :)

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №87965
 06.10.2013
I sit behind the compilation in the office.
Wife from the kitchen:
Drop up our bed.
An insidious plan is born in the head: the location of the manual hexagonal drill pops up in the memory, the speed of the screws is thought out for a greater effect of suddenness.
15 minutes from the kitchen.
Not all, only the bed.
That is 100% understanding.
I love her!
(I don’t need to put the bed back.)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №87964
 06.10.2013

Ivan Vladimirovich
Today at 2:53
Angry Bird’s gazing is ugly at least because an empty bowl can be thrown into a pig on the highway. If the bank got into the salon, then most likely the hint will be understood.

[ + 16 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87963
 06.10.2013
It is only on television telling that the insurance policy opens the doors to all medical offices. That is, it is so, but before this, the door must either be lubricated or knocked on it for a long time.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №87962
 06.10.2013
Axel: Imagine, we called one of our employees – her program stopped running. Corrected and corrected. Here I see, on the system block someone removed the license sticker from the wheel.
I ask the employee: "Why did you stick the sticker off?".
In response to the full seriousness: "this is why the program broke, yeah?"

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