Roast is riddled, the oatmeal will ripen, the cheese cheese

I came to my brother in Novorossiysk, he lives alone, sat down, drank, began to nostalgia, he showed me the history of his queries in Google when I just moved. Among other masterpieces there were:

December 6, 2009 How to cook milk soup
...
December 10, 2009 How to understand that milk has shed
December 10, 2009 What to do if the milk dropped
December 10, 2009 Recipes
10.12.2009 Ways for Blinds
...
17.12.2009 How to understand that the lost milk is gone

I work as an admin in a solid company. Smurf, the chef makes a query in Google: "acne remedy price". After a few minutes the following query: "Hair growth price". Then another query: "to increase the member price". And minutes after ten request: "buy a gun cheap"... I’m scared...

My girlfriend decided to study manicure. After a busy evening, as usual, she went to school in a beauty salon. She sits and makes a menicure. After a while, he noticed some weight on his shoulder. It turns, and there is a protein. Through her indifferent gaze, her girlfriend continues to do her business. What was her surprise when she noticed that everyone could see the white.

P.S One of the workers of the salon brought a hand white, which peacefully slept in the cap of the jacket, which was hanging on the chair on which my friend was placed. After the incident, no one stopped drinking.

Comment on the news on the Rambler, about the fact that the U.S. Army has issued a special instruction on communicating with gays.

...And note that there are no glamorous Moscow pedics there, these are real frozen combat pedoirs!! to

flapengin
Do you know what my niece wrote in a geometry textbook?

flapengin
A triangle is called a rectangle if at least one of the angles is 90 degrees.

flapengin
At least one fucking. Fuck you Pythagoras.

Judging by the fact that I was scratching because of the battery, there could be Narnia, and I would not have guessed.

"Scientists Suddenly Discovered Sex in Ameb"
to fucking.
Even in them.

M: Well you slipped, now I’m just doomed to go with you girlfriend
You are a man, you have been condemned since childhood.

In the contact:
He: One morning you will wake up and understand how dear I am to you... But when that day comes, I will wake up with the one who understood it before.
I: "s the one who understood")))
You finally confessed!

I watch a video called "Trans on guitar" - a man on acoustics virtuously gives a trance. One of the stones (on the move, in full seriousness):

It would still be a natural and not a trance, the price would not be!

[20:15:40] I think she will never get married))
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

My house burned today. We lie in bed and rest. She reveals: I had the best sex in my life! Remember the date! Today is March 23. It is easy! Today is my mother’s birthday. Where is the phone? Need to call urgently!

She: It is your fault!
He: In what?
It is: in everything!
He: I am not involved in 9/11 and the genocide of Jews

Oksana (16:43:56 24/03/2011)What types of anti-human executions do you know?
camer (16:44:51 24/03/2011)I may be wrong, but I think all the executions are a bit anti-human

Today on the 1st pair (naturally, still sleeping) the paddle whispered that it is not good to sleep in pairs. He twisted and silenced... Then we heard the knock and the matyugs of the teaching – it turns out that the smart man himself fell asleep. stood

Today, after hearing the name of the company that produces sausage in the store (there was a tasting), I first thought I heard it, but seeing this on the forehead of the promoter's girl, I realized that there are still people in Russia with a non-standard fantasy.
are ready?
Company "Pepper Metalist" O_o

Let’s start with two liters for each.
I : go out for me!!!! ))))

It was. It also reproduces.

We have a client at ADSL, the Orthodox Church. Modems we issue to subscribers different, including Huawei. My dad calls and says the internet doesn’t work. Tech Support asks the standard question, which modem he has. In response: "Well, with no godly name at all..."

Or Epic Fail? I’ll tell you what an Epic Fail is.
He went to work in the morning, slipped, fell, beat the joint of his right hand. I go out of the injury, in the pocket of the 5-thousand note, you need to exchange, I go to the bank... attention, a guy goes into the bank, in the coat, a wild look (in the injury the hand was fixed), the right hand in the pocket and does not remove it, a quick step goes to the box office.
The guard grabs his right hand and pulls (the shit is so painful!) with a shout full of pain I turn and give him in the mouth with my left hand.... fly 3 more mouthworms, put on the floor and turn my hands.... in 2 hours I appear again in the trauma point.... in the end I go home with 2 fractures of my right arm and a sick joint.....
Is this Epic Fail?? to
No such stuff.
I go home (I came in the afternoon and not in the evening as usual from work) and at home my wife with a lover... in the end I chase this fool down the stairs, at the exit of the entrance I slide down... again the same injury point... a fracture of the left arm... the doctors are already rubbing the whole composition....
I sit at home, both hands in the plaster, my wife to my mother collapsed.
This is Epic Fail. ! to ! to
I remembered the text of the group "brick"
Today is a bad day, everything falls out of hand.
Danny Boy here told me - fucking, smoke bamboo"...
Does anyone have a bamboo to smoke?
...and yes, this text I tried to grab with my hands in the gips...