I’m here when I see an expensive car with some simple number... well there... s482hz, so immediately a little more respect for the owner.

I work in the IT department. As is the case, 90% of all applications I do do not lift the ass from the chair through remote access, but the majority of employees are persistently calling and asking to approach them when the technology offends them. I always explain that for this I do not have to approach, I drive everything remotely. Those who see this for the first time will be amazed by the fact that the mouse itself slips through the screen!
Recently a consultant calls, such as changing the cartridge bla bla bla. I go, change, approach, and he just explains something to the client (from the company left). I change the cartridge and leave. After 15 minutes call:
Will you change my cartridge?
I have already changed.
and when? I did not see!
So I was away (I wasn’t confused :-)
- O_o (long pause, and with words) fuck, I fuck out of these айтишников, - hangs the telephone

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin on board a mini-submarine descended to the bottom of Lake Baikal in Siberia.

...and held official talks with Ktolhu. According to the results of the negotiations, a joint communiqué was issued, which noted the mutual understanding of the parties and the readiness for further cooperation.

The Forum

xxx: Well you know, I’ve had a lot of girls, you know)) They’re all crazy about me and all that... But she’s whole! The date is scheduled for tomorrow. She will be overwhelmed and entirely delighted when she sees my penis and all that, but you know, this evening will not bring me any pleasure! Hate me this?
You have a problem, you have a problem ?
XXX: No, what a problem. You know, I’ve had a lot of women)) just me the fact that she’s a bit stressed.
YYY: Well tell her that I should exercise.) I want to start doing it tomorrow.)
xxx for what?? to
YYY: on the cucumbers XD
XXX: there are no such sizes of cucumbers!!! to
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Cornishons are called.

The Male Decision

I sit in the park, drink beer. A young couple sits in front of him, and she says something lively to him. I unwillingly start listening, from the conversation I understand that the guy recently received a prize of 45 pieces.
The Tarot Girl:
- Well, look, the garment cabinet is XXX thousand, then, you need a new cup of tea, this is XXX thousand, I have a coat for autumn, you have a jacket, it will cost about XXX thousand...
I understand that she deliberately distributes the guy’s unexpected income.
- and a new mixer in the bathroom, - continues the girl, - and I have long dreamed of making a hairstyle in the XX (called a cool salon), you don't mind, right, it's okay?
For the guy, this is the last drop. He gets a cell phone and calls the number:
“Hello Serena, listen, you haven’t sold your bastard yet? How much do you want? Do you pay for 45? Okay, I take... yeah, I don’t know, I’ve long wanted to learn... I’ll go in the evening, wait.
In the rounded eyes of the girl appears BSOD, she "hangs" with an open mouth. The guy hides his cell phone and looks at it with what Putin looked at Medvedev during the inauguration.
I look at the guy, smile and start applauding loudly.

Comments on the tracker to the erotic film:

Why watch people have sex?
User2 is interesting.
Moderator: <user1, and then why do you scroll "Monstrous Holes 2"?? to

and Torvalds:
I watched the UFO last night. I sat down last night and watched it again. Even a scratch. I will watch again tonight.

and Torvalds:
This is what I do not understand. Three days in a row to fly... And why did all the galaxies in the universe need the Svyblovo region?? to

The Children’s Forum. Topic "The most unpleasant phrase from your trick".

XXX is:
We can only remain friends.
It looks like he broke.

During the lunch day, I saw the following picture:
I'm going to buy to eat.Congress to Leningrad.The crowd of the people is filming something on the mobile and wild.I think, blink, they shot anyone?
I have to, I think, look.I approach the road, I see a picture: a man in a rabbit costume slips on the road. I think shit.
I come to the office, I tell my colleagues.The girl with a stone face says: yeah, I go out of the subway, a rabbit is sitting.Well, he is talking, a puppy like that.He is crying.Before him a hat and a sign:"Help feed 2800 of my children".In the hat, a half, a hundred, a dozen.

I love my country ?

DPZ wrote:
The actual cost of lunch:
> Dozhyrak - 17 rubles
Hunting sausages - a couple of pieces - 25 rubles
Maionese small - 12 rubles
> Hotdog bull - 9 rubles
> This is free of charge ;)
> Coffee office - free of charge ;)
> and
Total of: 63 rubles.

rko wrote:
Gastroenterologist reception - 500 rubles
Gastroscopy - 500 rubles
The cost of drugs in the course of treatment of ulcers - 200 - 300 dollars.

This morning I watched just a crazy picture:
Sister in black coat, wrapping wet black hair with a black black towel, with black black nails drank black black activated carbon HD

Dogs take their footsteps, but ments all the rest.

Every man dreams of getting drunk, to get on the wrong plane and that in the morning
Barbara Brilskaya smooked his finger on the cheek.
And they also told me: there will be dinner, everything in the house, a pig with an apple in the mouth, cucumbers, cakes with blueberries.
So I went to the bathroom.

The bathroom is small, two-bedroom, I got to wash with Kolya. The guests looked at us with understanding. Everyone knew that Kolya was born and grew up in the Martens oven. When he sees this, he is foolish. In it wakes up a fire monster, a demon and a pair. I did not know. I was just going to wash and talk about women’s values.

He wore a hat and gloves. It was seen by the eyes, would wear a valley, there was no. I said I must surrender. I stopped until the thermometer exploded.
Well, right now, Cole was delighted.

Meanwhile, a nuclear summer came in the steam, everything around became purple and raspberries like on Venus in mid-August.
In any case, I showed Cole with gestures how unhappy I am. As if I had hinted that I would give up and be ready to go over to drunkenness, plane and Barbara.
of Brilliance.

Cole said, now we will restore my optimism. With a touching care for my troubles, he waved a wreath in some samurai way.
At about the second blow, all the microbes, including the useful ones, fled from me. Then there was a difference between the bath and the process of decay of the nucleus. And I also understood which of the guests they planned to serve at the table with an apple in their mouths.

At the third blow, I abandoned the heliocentric model of the world in favor of a flat land floating on a turtle. All, I say, Cole, no one is turning anywhere anymore, just don’t need more of that.
In response, Kolya showed how "parks" are made. Those who are dead for nothing. Of course nothing. Who wants the dead to run into the bathroom complaining about burns?

Then, when I still survived and ate the pastries with blueberries, folding them into columns of three, and all the guests seemed to me as one and the same Barbara.
Brilsky, Cole told a Very Short History.

I once washed with steel. I thought I would die. It was very hot,
is terrible. These men in the village were called “steelmen.” They are generally
The Unlimited. One ran out in the rain, was struck by lightning, he
Nothing, I went to wash.

Cole said so and looked at the sunset with anxiety.

Muscle memory is when the page has not yet loaded, and you have already put the mouse to the place where you need to click.

"with foreigners sometimes have to work.. funny they)))) especially the French)) as if a coordinator from France came a few days ago...he did not understand what the Russian word means "treat"(this was a scandal for us))) Well I actually had to explain with gestures)) he turned red and said that the Russians were very sexy people))) the whole office just rolled.

Great Questions Asked in Forums

I came to the wizard, and he said that I have a dim karma and he can’t see it well and you need to guess on the perineum. I agreed he was there for half an hour... he said nothing specific, but I have the feeling that I was hit somewhere...
What is this magic?? to

<penelope> and what is the phrase that everyone is constantly talking about blackjack and the prostitute, what is it about?
<yarik> this is from the Bible
<penelope> okay, you are lying))))
<yarik> do you believe it? I will quote the original!
Jericho 1:1 In the beginning were the great gods.
1:2 And they created the great world.
1:3 And the world was good, for it was a world of cultural people with high moral standards.
1:4 And the gods saw that this world was good, and they themselves lived in the world.
1:5 And there was among them the God of Yahweh, proud and proud.
Jeremiah 1:6 And he made the spirit once.
1:7 And he drank it fully, and he mourned, and began to crack at the gates of the world with loud words.
1:8 And the gods saw his weakness, and did not let him go.
1:9 And then he was angry and angry and said, “Well, I will make my world, with blackjack and prostitutes!”
1:10 And then he created our world.
<yarik> here you can see how
<penelope> ears and I didn’t know, I never read the Bible

Who else can do that? The Russian programmers.
introduced a variable HUI. When the Western leadership asked what it was, they quickly came up with the excuse for the High-quality User Interface.
I was crying.

"Chupacabro was seen under Kiev"
_________________________________________
This is their mayor.

Topic on the forum "I need advice of an intimate nature"
I know that many will envy this topic, many will think that I’m “throwing potts” here, but it’s not all right, I just need advice.
In general, the situation is this - I am a student with a beautiful face and body, have a car, money, although I don't work. In this regard, I have constant attention from the female sex. They stick to me and literally force me into bed. And every time it all unfolds according to the same scenario - talk about marriage begins and "I gave you the most dear", well, and so on. I’m already afraid of having a relationship with anyone, especially after a sad incident that happened to my friend. He slept once with a girl, with a rubber, of course, but this girl took the condom out of the garbage compartment at night and stumbled into herself. She is pregnant and her friend is in trouble.
After this news, I lost all faith in the decency of people, and even abandoned sex, but time goes by and the hormones are already splashing across the edge.
So the question is: where can I safely throw away a condom?