I ordered from a well-known online store. From the comment to the order: "You will call today (vs, 13.12) for confirmation - I am at work and can't say directly what I'm making an order in the online store, please ask questions to which you can answer yes, no."

In 5 minutes, the operator will call.
Do you have delivery from 12 to 18 or from 16 to 00?
...?... A) The second
From 16 to 00?
and yes!
Payment in cash or by card?
Have you read the comments on the order? No one is burning, no one is burning yet.
Yes, I have read everything! Cash or card?
and yes! A subtle hint, but...
What is Yes?? to
I asked him if he could not answer yes or no to this question.
Yes, you can’t answer yes or no.
- (@#$!!) Yes to!
What is Yes?
Okay the first.
First, in cash or by card?
by Naomi!
With cash?
Yes in cash!! to
Thank you, wait for your order!

When during breakfast in Cyprus you see the inscription in large letters on the toaster in Russian "meat and cheese in the toaster do not baked!", you understand not only that the Russians have already been here, but that even not you first came to the mind this idea:

The universe holds a competition of the type "Best graduate". They reached the standard competition with tasks, handed out to comrades competitors cards with descriptions of different situations, sent to think, invited back, asked...
One responds, the other, the room is missing. Now it is time for another competitor.
The Leader:
So your answer?
The man looks at the card with a thoughtful eye:
Well, first of all, here’s a mistake, here’s a need for a fifth...

Judging by the reaction of the hall, it was the best performance of all.

Why use a password as a primary key when you have a login?
YYY: Why be perverted? The date of birth must be used as the primary key.
Zzzz: Better to be sure
vvv: "You can’t sign up. This floor is already occupied."

The Ministry of Health wants to sell valerian and tincture on a prescription. And to plant for the cultivation of pineapple and aloe, as for the illicit trade in drugs they do not want?

The same feeling when a guy writes you all kinds of nonsense, in the hope of reciprocity, and you read, and mentally correct grammar errors > <

Damn, I am what, one of whom "grey" is a verb?? to

In the bathroom for some reason smells strongly of neighboring garlic cakes. It’s even scary to think about what the neighbors smell in the kitchen.

I went to the doctor to close the hospital. At the same time, I ask: say, and what are the ways to protect yourself, if you work in the open space, someone is sneezing and coughing all winter. The doctor (the brutal bald uncle), without thinking for a second:

Are you shooting a shot?

When the trunks are distributed to all, the crime will end, because everyone will have the trunks. The trunk is only needed for self-defense - so when I buy my APS, I will shoot the Light that I didn't give in the 10th grade, the hatch that she gave, the former boss from the job where he paid the salary one when he was fired, the pitcher of the one who parks wrong, and another man 70. Fuck me, Fuck me, Fuck me

The anecdote is not of our generation, but it is funny:
And let’s remember what you can do in the absence of a computer. Well, we all had such a time, like a relatively adult generation gathered.
to sing. But there is a risk that the computer will work again.
Y:hah) we can convert it to the Internet)
X to code. But there is a risk that the internet will work again :D

A friend, an investigator, asked if I could make her an e-mail card for the ND. I thought that their department decided to congratulate their "clients" with the New Year. Dear friend, Santa Claus, in the person of the Investigative Committee of the Russian Federation, wishes you all the best in the coming year... We remember you and do not forget!!! Do it well!"
I needed a card for my daughter in the kindergarten...

Why Why? No seriously? If the child wants to eat, he will eat and ask for supplements. And if he nods and moves the plate away, then it can simply be put aside. First for a while, and if the child did not ask her back - then until the next meal.

Well, just some people don’t feel like good parents unless they’re borrowed.

here here :

I was on the metro in the first wagon. The train stopped a couple of times in the race, obviously knocked on the door of the driver, and we continued. For the third time I laughed! and the voices. Is that what happens, the machinery of friends diverted? O_O

There are a lot of corridors and doors in the tunnels. The premises. Often there are compositions. So technically yes, brought friends. and colleagues

Currently
I was in the shower with a friend, and have not seen each other for a couple of months. During this time, I visited two consecutive journeys – Singapore and Kiev. And by tradition, along with the gift, I give him two magnetics.
In response, two outstretched pedals:
Wow, you were in Kiev!!! to

I was once advertised a condom on Twitter when I was watching Dota.
xxx: I think they are a bit wrong with the place for advertising
xxx: of course, I will use it if I watch Dota on Saturday night

Neradence: Some time ago, one of my indoor plants started to leaf. and suddenly.
I fed it with fertilizers, brought it to light and put it in the shade, put it under the UV lamp, took it out of the UV lamp, stopped watering, started watering more. It persistently continued to fall. I re-read all the sources I found and broke my head - well, there was no reason for it.
The puzzle turned out to be non-trivial: a cat came to the flower, methodically ripped off the leaves and folded them into a pot. The pig is wool.
I have only one question: why? ><

xxx: And I'm an African-American want to try in bed, fucking, go some flowers courier?
Yyy: It’s the same, only if you turn off the light, it doesn’t leave the feeling of the mattress fucking.

You’ve struck with your literacy! Who is interested? I received an SMS from a friend of mine "I’m going to go". I read it several times, and I didn't understand it, I called her back (the phone outside the zone) and only an hour later it turned out that she was stuck in the elevator and couldn't call out because of a bad connection. Even then it was necessary to run away from it, waving a textbook in Russian, but I don’t write about it here!

Valeff: Never ask Mexicans how spicy their dishes are. When, after tasting a teaspoon of "not quite spicy" snack, you start crying on their shoulder, they will sincerely wonder why you don't want to eat another plate.