bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121256
 30.11.2015
News: The RPC called for the fight against organizations that promote sex education programs in schools.
An anecdote about "Joppa - is, and the words - not" decided to implement?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №121255
 30.11.2015
I visited the website of a well-known clothing store. I liked the T-shirt. I specified what was available in the closest department to me, recorded the article, so as not to waste time searching on the spot, and went shopping. I usually do not order through the website. The price is the same, and it makes no sense.



I: Hello to you. I need a T-shirt MSF-45884



Seller: Unfortunately, it is not available right now.



I: I clarified literally 20 minutes ago, I was told by phone that the goods were available, in sufficient quantity.



Seller: It may be reserved for sale through the website.





I take the phone, call the number from the site left in the outgoing. The tube with an unobtrusive look is taken by the same girl who is behind the counter a meter from me, and who just told me in the face that there is no goods.





Seller (already on the phone): Yes Goods are available.



I: Can I ask you to leave for me 2 copies, brown and grey?



Seller: Yes of course. Do you have a discount card?



I: Yes, it’s registered on the number I call from. When buying, it is not necessary to have the card with you, enough is the phone number on which it is registered.



The goods are postponed for you. Come at any time.



I : thank you. I put a telephone.



A girl with a still unwavering appearance gets from under the shelf 2 T-shirts that interest me, and with a stretched smile calls the price.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121254
 30.11.2015
I will soon create a special blog called "The Explosion of My Brain by the Logic of the Balians".
After each performance, our employees cover the lighting devices with cellophane (4 pieces of lamp), because the rainy season, and the equipment is unfortunate. Before leaving the field, I check if they covered everything. I see one lamp not covered. The further dialogue:
Why is the lamp not covered?
(Long looking in the direction of my thumbing finger) Well, because I've covered the first one (he touches the opposite side) twice...
Oceania, do you have to cover it?
– Well, I’ve covered it twice... – he expresses his unfailing surprise with my incomprehensiveness...
After the show you will cover 1 lamp 4 times and then you will not have to climb up to the other lamps 3 times.
- Okay - he joyfully answers me, apparently not understanding all the sarcasm...
Then I had to explain that he would not get rid of me so easily, and he would still have to climb to all 4 lamps and cover them all separately...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121253
 30.11.2015
XXX: I go in the electric car, next to the man thinks the crossword: "Synonym for torture, torture, torture" Writes: "Work" whether the man was so taken, or the creator of the crossword, because it came together.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121252
 30.11.2015
And why everyone is so afraid of individual boilers in hell, imagine you will have a separate boiler!!! Own and personal. The rest will be crowded like in the metro.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №121251
 30.11.2015
I have long dreamed of buying a laser indicator that ignites at a distance of up to 10 meters. I am unlikely to surprise anyone, and I am not going to, but the man who asked me if I could not smoke was quite surprised. I do not smoke, so by habit I immediately answered no, but I immediately came to mind a brilliant idea, and asked him to wait a second. He got a stick from the portfolio, reminiscent of the handle of a light sword. The Eastman asked:

Will this thing not kill me?

I asked him to replace a cigarette. Then lighted a bright blue light, 2 seconds, voila, the man is pleased! Ohha, ahha, he ran to boast to his friends.

I will never forget that reaction.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №121250
 30.11.2015
xxx: bljad, we have tractorists (trackers) entertaining - terrible ice, so they organized a drift competition in the factory territory! :D

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №121249
 30.11.2015
Not the author, but I would say:

To the author: "She looks at her for a few seconds without even noticing, then says, "Oh, I probably can't, better I will call you in the evening and you will help me." Mistake, I mean in the evening, with a sick back, after a working day behind the comp, I will have to guess a couple of hours in a row on the phone which button she pressed there and which she should press next. So I said that I would not call, if the paper does not help, then I will definitely not be able to help by phone.

Such a cool admin does not know about remote PC management?)) I could have agreed to help, for a snack or any amount.)

In order to help the remote, you need to have this remote set and working. At a distance, good nursery photos look, and to restore the system - that is still hemorrhoids.
2nd Hard food admin does not work.
Three Don't let God help you for "any amount" because any future crash, from the point of view of such customers, you will simply have to correct.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121248
 30.11.2015
In the game:
Every minute, a billion atoms are added to the world. from where?
Go to Naher. I came here to degrade, not to resolve your rebuses.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №121247
 30.11.2015
Chet has recently started jumping through posts about oral courses.
Per this is a new symbol of female advancement. I am not so fashionable. But I do not understand. I had a few men, but even this number is enough to understand that manipulations they like are completely different. Not to mention that gymnastics are gymnastics, but in a man's body can be bended, for example. And why did we "no go through this"? Even sadly, somehow, people are learning by pattern, not by a particular person. Or are they no longer married without these crabs?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №121246
 30.11.2015
Meeting of website developers. D-developer N-Chief
D-Yes to do what the client wants to have a month to watch hentai with tenacles!
N (see D with a heavy look) - YouTube with cats, 5 minutes.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121245
 30.11.2015
The preamble. A few years ago, our district prosecutor’s office initiated comprehensive non-planned inspections of catering places. My boss sent me to these checks at the request of an assistant prosecutor.

Actually a Fabula. It is no secret that in the role of "Japanese" chefs in Russian sushi bars and restaurants appear from SA. So I remember at one of the checks in a good and expensive restaurant, the chef and su-chef were pure Japanese... They were taken by the FMSniks as illegal, but the Kyrgyz and other Uzbek remained in place, because with the documents they had everything in order)))

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №121244
 30.11.2015
“Safety initiative – a hurt for the organization”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121243
 30.11.2015
I can forgive everything except humility.
And the battles?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №121242
 30.11.2015
One day a friend told me:
You are perfect – your figure, your face, your legs, your hair. I don’t know what the underdog is. What is wrong with you? Maybe you are a straw? Or as a human being?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №121241
 30.11.2015
Google's patent on how unmanned cars communicate with pedestrians:

Patented instead of making it an open standard? Keep it so! Now, in order to walk in front of the Apple Car, you will need to carry your hand horizontally, before the Samsung car - in any direction, before the car to stand on four, and before the Lamborghini to open your mouth wide.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121240
 30.11.2015
Zorge.R: I stand down, I hold my foot on the brake, I heat the car, I use to choose a song, here the car starts to roll forward, I wait for the brake to the focus, it still rolls, a little strained, I start to press the pedal with pulsing movements, I strain stronger, the car all rolls forward, I start in my head to pick up options, what could be broken, I start to get nervous, and the car rolls and gets speed, all the options in my head ended, the handle crushed, and the car is still rolling and getting speed, your mother, what is going on,..... and here I understand that it is not I rolled forward, but the car next, rolling back, backwards. I fixed the magnetophone.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №121239
 30.11.2015
Patriots begin to dismantle Turkish sanitary equipment.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №121238
 30.11.2015
In the present Ukrainian steppes until the 18th century, there was also little population, only a few Tatars and Turks ;)

You don’t know, don’t lie down! There were crowds of proto-Ukrains digging the Black Sea.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121237
 30.11.2015
Today I was the 100th buyer at Bill. The cashier congratulated me and joyfully stated that all my purchases together cost 1 ruble. So instead of 29 rubles for the lighter, I paid 1.

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