bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117937
 31.08.2015
My laptop broke, and I took to use it from my husband the next day.

Why did you put your password on your computer?
You have entered the search engine "mail ro"
XXX and what?
In Russian letters
XXX: What is it?
I don’t want Google to think I’m stupid.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №117936
 31.08.2015
I want to have five weekends.
Why five?
Saturday and Sunday and so on weekends.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №117935
 31.08.2015
The Drawing.
The room, in it sits a boy of 7-8 grade in a cushion with a canvas on his head and a guitar in his hands. Near the teacher. He sits on the ropes, shakes and learns.

In the room comes the mother of the future guitarist and ridiculously so
Trindy Brindy Balalaika.
Chado looks at her and says with a cold cold voice.
You are depreciating, mother.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №117934
 31.08.2015
How to call a cat?
NN: extended
The first thing that came to mind. Reduced dosage
Q:Are you going to go back?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №117933
 31.08.2015
I will call you the evil genius!
Yyy: I am not evil... and I am not a genius.
Okay, I’ll call you a good fool!

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117932
 31.08.2015
xxx: In aske smiles were more balanced than in Skype
I could express my emotions more accurately with ancient painting than with modern painting.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №117931
 31.08.2015
I work in an arms store.

Do you have machine guns?
We have it. Not in the store.
And the bullet?
There is in the store. We do not have...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №117930
 31.08.2015
xxxh: I saw a lot of interesting in the process of finding a job, but when in the section of "Jurisprudence" the only job is " office cleaner", I begin to doubt that I have chosen the right path.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №117929
 31.08.2015
to this. With nostalgia.

Comrades, I congratulate us all! We successfully spent another summer!
I propose to wash out another such important achievement in our life with you!
But we do not relax, we continue to work at the same pace.

Comrade, get to relax! I assure you, you are still ahead! Because only with age you understand that fucking another winter (or another autumn) - nothing, no better)

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №117928
 31.08.2015
I cut the cake, slicing the cream from the knife. A sister passes by (loving by the way) and says carefully:
- Don't eat from the knife, you're still scratched, you'll get worse.

Oh Oh Oh Oh! I thought about my character*

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №117927
 31.08.2015
On the backdrop of two hurricanes in Japan and the United States, the Russian defense mine suddenly (!) The Impossibility of Climate Weapons

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117926
 31.08.2015
On the Great Shihira idol, the oldest known wood monument to modern science, Ural and German scientists found a new mysterious face and learned that this sculpture is much older than previously thought. The age of the Shigir idol is 11 thousand years old. It is about twice as old as the Egyptian pyramids. It is the oldest wooden artefact in the world.

Where does the RPC look all burn!!!! to
“Why do you think he is ‘idol’ and ‘language’?”
Is this a portrait of the Orthodox leader?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №117925
 31.08.2015
to this:
What if I’m a girl who comes to the boys to reinstall the screw in order to get trapped?

Leave an ASKA or Skype number immediately!

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117924
 31.08.2015
The other extreme. A girlfriend, a student, rents an apartment with two boys. All three are from filfak, creative intelligence, different courses. I ask, how do they look at you? No, he says, they play tanks all day long, they smoke, I treat them like cats, I feed them, I settle quarrels. And there are no normal men, nowhere at all, with whom Heideggen can be discussed.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №117923
 31.08.2015
Chernomyrdin: Whatever social organization we create, the CPSU gets.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №117922
 31.08.2015
It’s like when the rich steal from the poor.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №117921
 31.08.2015
I bought a new sim. As it turned out, the past owner is a debtor, and every day different banks call. I put her daughter on the phone, and what, she is 4 years old and she likes to talk to them.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №117920
 31.08.2015
This goat lies to everyone who has slept with me, and everyone believes him.
Tell him that you are pregnant with him.
We didn’t sleep together...
And when he answers that, you will show it to everyone.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №117919
 31.08.2015
Who has a hobby?
One of the answers: "Carriage, shares, mortgage!"

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117918
 31.08.2015
Demonstrations, rallies, riots... USA, Brazil, Japan, Malaysia...
In Russia it is quiet. And all why? Because they were banned in time.

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