From local discussions about "express-coffee" learned a lot about the rules of Russian language, marketing, advertising and business strategy. And I regretted noting how few people are left with just a sense of humor.

Commentary on the film "You will all die!"

Grolla: The title of the film is my appeal to the whole film group after watching it.

Why did the Kharkov cat hire for rubles?

Oleg Efremov - India has tested a missile capable of carrying a nuclear charge. There will be problems with democracy in India.
Andrei Ponomarov - And in the United States with programmers.

I had to go to science. I would study the frozen feces of mammoths, and next to me a young trainee who is in love with me. But I’t notice it – the main cal!

from somewhere.

In the pharmacy, a guy (MH) addresses the seller (P) with a lion's share of embarrassment:
Q: Girl, tell me, I need an express test.
Q: In the pregnancy?
Sarcastic: The psychological age.
The pharmacy slept.

The cat returned with a broken beard and a broken ear. I worship, disinfect, embrace and embrace the whole cat.
Husband, evil: Why do you kiss him? He has a normal male life, walked all night, returned beaten but happy...I envy him!!! to

I have an employee. He is a fervent advocate of tolerance, political correctness and everything else, let all the flowers bloom, ready to crush in disputes for the rights of all minorities. At the same time, every time he notices that I write with my left hand (I, in fact, all my life since the birth of the left, just an unobserving uncle), he is surprised. He asks, “Do you write with your left hand?” He says this is wrong and I need to re-learn immediately. Given that the uncle is boring and with a thumbnail, such conversations once a week start to strain. Who will tell me where I should go so that the Left would be recognized as a minority, and he would not be brainstorming me, but someone for my rights?

I like some creative advertisers. "Do you need money before pay?" Do they really think I’ll buy it? I found a fool. I need money before salary and after salary. Instead of salary.

A cat wiped out a Kharkov meat machine for 26 thousand rubles
- Truly Ukrainian cat-do not eat, so overbite

>>> For several days, the cat tried the products, choosing, according to employees, the most expensive types.
Apparently I didn’t eat cheap meat.

Jehovah comes in the morning. A nice man of the right age... asks about what will happen to us after we die. launched into the house. He will tell me, or I will tell him. I am in honey. The pathological anatomy. I know exactly what, when, and what will happen after death. I went away quickly, I didn’t even say half.

This is:
Do not believe,
But at the time when there was the above-mentioned film, the books of Conan Doyle in the above-mentioned country really did not exist.
The deficit was ))))))))))))

No, we will not believe. Although there is a deficit, yes. But: there were libraries, they got the mud, stood in line for subscriptions, took "for the night" to read from those who had a reason.
Otherwise I don’t even know what was read in this “most reading country in the world” if “Conan Doyle” was not read because there was a deficit.

I drive very badly, I can hardly turn. Once a long time ago I bought a normal such a big big "as in adults". I walk in the village along the street and suddenly I start to stop (I will not explain it in a fig) and I finally stop when a big, no... unbiasedly big pile of weed appears on my left hand. Now imagine everything in a slow shooting - the girl on the big slowly and elegantly rolls to the pile of debris and begins to fall on it, then shakes on it along with the big, without showing any emotions and attempts to somehow avoid it. What it was I will not understand until now.)

<Trener> People, here’s where to take 4 liters... flour?
<Trener> I don’t know how many in kilos.
<Trener> Has done a little to try...

here
You’d better try to beat your leg, it’s more effective :)
The girl weighing 47 kg who knocked the door when the child accidentally locked
-------------------------
...And not far from there, in my eyes, a fragile gentle girl opened the entrance castle with a key, irritatedly knocked her hand - and pulled the castle out of the door. Just hanging on the key.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Don’t argue with her, she’s the same girl.

xxx: Unfortunately, the spirit of the CPSU in our country is sometimes not extinct.

YYY: It is said that in Soviet times it was called “the survivors of Tsarism.” How he was named during the tsarism is unknown.

Why unknown? Democracy and Republican Democracy :-)

X: Gave in a dream a precious collar, put on the neck, why?
Z: Probably to the mine.

Inflation is when you have spent your whole life on a black day and accumulated money on a black bread.

Mathematics

Anthony loved her since childhood. First for sitting nearby with him as a child, playing various games, then for taking him to school and often helping with lessons. Then, being a high school student, he truly fell in love and stood for hours at the entrance, expelling the numerous fans who appeared at the time to her, the student of the institute. For one of these of his guests Tanka still got married and for a couple of years left the city, appearing only when Anton was already called into the army.
Having learned that she had already divorced from her husband at that time, Anton asked for permission to write to her from the letter service and every week sent her newsletters about himself, in which he cautiously tried to hint somehow about his attitude to her. Tanka answered him, although in every way and tried to translate their correspondence into a friendly plane.
When Anton returned to his citizenship, Tanka welcomed him quite welcomingly, but kept with him emphasized straight. Anthony did not give up and continued his efforts. Several times they went to the cinema together, to the zoo and even somehow went to the McDonald’s, which then just opened in their city. There, at a standard American dinner, Anton got courage and told her all about his long-standing feelings, offering to become his wife.

- You understand, - when he heard his confession, Tanka smiled sadly, - you also like me, and I liked it before, but here, look - she got out of the bag of flommasters and took the side of the polystyrene cup of coffee number 27 standing in front of her - this is like I, you see?
He cried out.
“But here you are,” she painted on his glass the numbers 2 and 0 – twenty, you know? And when I’m thirty, you’re only twenty-three! And so on, it’s a simple progress... And never will my twenty-seven – she tossed a flommaster into her glass again – be less than your twenty.
She was silent.
Never ever? I asked Anton, what if he did?
Danny laughed loudly:
I will marry you, I swear. And, putting under the number 27 her signature, she solemnly handed her glass to Anton.
- We have agreed, - Anton cried out in response, - wait.
That evening, as usual, they broke up in their apartments, and the next day Anton did not call, to which Tanka was already accustomed, and generally disappeared somewhere. Waiting for a while, she went to his home, where his mother that he had been recruited to work somewhere in Kaliningrad. Tanka tried to call him on the cell phone, but the phone was constantly out of the zone of action.

He appeared to her only half a year later, suddenly handing her into her hands a large glass with the number 20, from which the astonished Tanka got the second, a tiny glass with the tiny numbers 27 and her slightly noticeable signature under them. After that, Anton firmly took her hand and, no longer hearing any objections, took her to the ZAGS, where they filed an application the same day.

Just for these past weather, he managed to hire an assistant of electromechanics on the research vessel "Academic Keldish" and go on it in the expedition to the North Atlantic. There he asked one of the pilots of the deep-sea apparatus "Mir" when diving to tie a grid with a glass to the body of the apparatus. When the deep waterfall dropped for several kilometers, the glass did not flatten, but (this is already its feature of polystyrene) simply decreased many times in size, compressed proportionally under the pressure of the thickness of the water.

Since then, eight years have passed. These glasses are still in their closet, and their eldest daughter is always wondering why parents keep them and don’t throw them away. There are even better cups at McDonald’s. It is already paper...
by robertyumen

Mona calls a friend from Israel in Odessa:
Senna, what’s going on there?
Ukraine is a bit at war with Russia.
Are there any losses?
“Yes, there is... Ukraine lost Crimea, a couple of regions, several aircraft and helicopters, tanks, BMP, various weapons there, decent to the people and...
What did the Russians lose?
“Monia, you won’t believe, the Russians haven’t come to war yet.