bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №122253
 24.12.2015
I read on a well-known website a response to the phone:
I was lucky, I found him on the street. You can buy it only from despair or in an attack of hatred for yourself.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №122252
 24.12.2015
When the object appears first, and then the sound, it is called “super sound.” And what is the name when the sound appears first, and then the object?
and slump.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №122251
 24.12.2015
At the Olympics, we successfully decomposed 300 grams of selenium per room. Chelyabinsk, suburbs, go nowhere - the forest... Although then we started boiling the berry in chlorine form for some reason...
Most of all I remembered how I stitched the windows with glycerin in the female student shower so that they didn’t get stuck.)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №122250
 24.12.2015
I was stunned epically in the subway today. A man of nineteen... he stumbled upon me, flattered himself and said to me, "W-W-W-W-W-W-W!"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №122249
 24.12.2015
by Scinquisitor

the_toad :

What I admire is people who know everything about the laws of the universe.

Give him such a simple five-stage synthesis - he and the cabbage will fuck, and his hands will cut.

The universe is another thing, here it is a mastic.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №122248
 24.12.2015
In Russia approved a new military rank - General-fraud

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №122247
 24.12.2015
1 Glory to Allah!
2 Glory to Allah!
Whoever does not jump is a Shiite.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №122246
 24.12.2015
Today in the news was told about the tree in the Kremlin palace. The plot of the fairy tale - that they stole all the numbers from the quarantines and here children and animals are looking for them. And then I thought that all the New Year's fairy tales I know/have seen were like somebody spoofed something. I do not remember any other scenarios at all. It must be scattered - the tree, the snowflake, here are the numbers.
So we live.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №122245
 24.12.2015
Rights holders from the <RAEC/Media> cluster have compiled a list of 100 pirate
The websites. They explained that among such websites are those who do not have them.
contracts with rightholders on the distribution of their products. They also
We have prepared signs by which to determine whether a pirate site or not.
Here is a list of 100 sites selected by copyright holders.

I didn’t know so much 😉
I went to add 😉

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №122244
 24.12.2015
Thefringer: #forgive Ireland is on the island? Why did they not go fishing?
Dixi: so historically that fishing is practiced only on the coast, and in the center of a large island, fishing is somehow not lived. Probably this is some religious prejudice of the wild mountains.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №122243
 24.12.2015
It is not scary that our country is in the ass, it is scary that it has begun to establish itself there... Vasily Melnitchenko.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №122242
 24.12.2015
XXX: Yes, these teenage movies are angry. The divergent, the insurgent running in the labyrinth,
Hunger games, nightmares, guests and so on.
YYY: By the way, yes, they have grown.
zzz: We would have released one perfect teenage film and calm down "Running in the dark
The Labyrinth of the Hungry Divergent"
XXX: That is what I would do.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №122241
 24.12.2015
In all the languages of the world, the inscription "Do not enter-kill!" literally understood, for the Russian person means: "You are there more careful when you enter!"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №122240
 24.12.2015
“Your Covel is so cute that if I were a fairy, I would have turned all the bombs there into furry kittens, throwing butterflies out of every hole. If your city were a man, I would have caught it, pulled it to my house and squeezed it to half-death :3 And if some fool again calls this lovely place a muchosransk, I will hit that fool with a batch, I liked it.
WOW to TWAY. I am scared for my city.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122239
 24.12.2015
It was the case in Orléans in the central market, 7 years ago.
He parked his car, went on business, returned, sat in the car. Two people approached and said that I had scratched their car. I went 20 meters to see. I think, okay, I’ll go and see, yet white day and people around – they won’t kill.
I had a dog in the car. Cable really likes to sleep in the car on the passenger front carpet. The combination of its dark, almost black tiger color and a small tint make it invisible in the car.
Well, in general, I knocked the door and went with these "comrades", I didn’t even knock the signal. On the way, one companion disappeared somewhere, and the other says, "I will go to my store, I will take the keys of the car, and you wait for me here, I am two seconds."
I waited for a few minutes and went back to the car. I approach closer, I see the front passenger door closed not to the end (with one click). Close to dark red. He gave no importance, closed the door to the end and went home. Near the house, Kobe walked out and on the carpet I noticed similar spots and some small, incomprehensible piece. I looked, and this was a small piece of finger with a nail. I had to wash the carpet and go to the urn.
P.S I probably’t go anywhere now.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №122238
 24.12.2015
Dema: Recently in our city, the weather is such that the border clearly begins to turn into a bridge, and the entrance - into a parade.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №122237
 24.12.2015
In the VK discussion of the post on the unification of the home of the elderly and kindergarten.

Why hasn’t anyone thought about it before?! to
YYYY: It is not profitable! What is the budget allocated to both institutions? How do you traditionally work with staff? Where are the paychecks to go?
Well, it is clear that it is not for our Russian realities...
yyy:-Well, if only to combine the childhood with the house of the presbyterian in the building of the former psychic...
Where the word "repair" was heard under Stalin. Half of the staff saw Stalin, and the other half was Stalin personally! The psychic, who...
xxx:))))))))))))))

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №122236
 24.12.2015
In order for the year 2016 of the Christmas of the Fire Monkey to be successful, it is necessary on the night of the Catholic Christmas on December 25th to hang the Orthodox icon of the Kazan Mother of God on a tree with a red star, on which the symbol of Yin-Yang in the wheel of Sansaara should be depicted. On the table should be a sacrificial lamb with a catch.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №122235
 24.12.2015
Read with StackOverflow made my day:

I’m a C# developer and I’m often humiliated by Java developers, because my C# language is shit.

I do not agree with them, because this language was made by such a company as Microsoft. If it was able to make such a good operating system as Windows 10 that did all the axes in everything, then it can’t make a bad language.

I tried to counter them by traditional methods, saying that Java is slow, Linux is fucking, and we have LINQ.

But, in response, I got a benchmark where it was clearly seen that, the same asp.net is slower than PHP in 5-10 times, too, I was told that Windows is shit, and java is the most popular language. After that, I no longer knew what to answer.

The question is, how do you oppose them? C# is no worse than Java. After all, it has LINQ and it was made by Microsoft!!!! to

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №122234
 24.12.2015
Like in the pop GPS items menu "move satellite", "remove satellite".

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna