bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116487
 24.07.2015
Knowledge, and what to make delicious foods for the march-throwing of rainbow rabbits?



There is a good short film on YouTube about an uncle organizing mass racing on the rainbow for the marginals. He takes in the store a slice, vegetables, minerals, gets from the trunk 0.7 from under vodka with methanol, an old mobile phone bought on the bar, shakes out the wallet, leaving only a little bit and leaves at night. Sooner or later, in some courtyard, the guys come up, ask something neutral, but as a result, as always, bread the patchwork into a buckle, snack and snack, leaving in memory a few bruises and / or fractures... Without suspecting that methanol is little different from burned vodka, and the lethal dose for a 70-kg person is about 30 grams.

I am personally stunned by one of the comments of the "defenders" of the hypothesis:
What if they give my mother this vodka?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116486
 24.07.2015
We have a different situation at home with socks.
There are a couple of clean whole green socks. Theoretically, the size will suit both me and my husband. But they are not mine. Not the husband. So I put them in a box with his socks, and then find them in a box with mine. No one wears them, but no one raises his hand to throw them out. They found their eternal home.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116485
 24.07.2015
Advertising in the eyes:
Tour to Phuket 15 days from 28500 rubles, The cost includes: direct flight back, airport-hotel-airport transfers, hotel accommodation, medical insurance. andquot;
I flew tomorrow from Krasnoyarsk to Khabarovsk for 15 days for 48,500 rubles, where the cost includes only a flight there and back and, probably, chicken or fish for dinner in the plane, twice...
Fly Aeroflot aircraft through Russia, gentlemen!

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116484
 24.07.2015
I now watched a collection of chess debuts (variants of the beginning of the games), there was, among other things, the Sicilian Defense (Chelyabinsk version) " immediately appeared - in response to the sudden move of the horse, under the table comes an iron pudding pudding...
:D

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №116483
 24.07.2015
by Diary
I tried to get into the Marvel universe. Even at the stage of viewing the album with pictures and descriptions of characters dropped this case and left naked. My level of development does not allow you to bite into all these prequels, quadriquels, spinoffs and rebuts against the background of the total sushi of absolutely all the characters and the wild rush in the graph.
Never encountered the universe, under a curtain filled exclusively with suckers, competing with each other in such sports as throwing skyscrapers in a hundred meters, fast drunk each other in the past and flying into space in latex trousers above the pants.
I thought I was fucking...

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №116482
 24.07.2015
I read #dogkosrach and sincerely admire it. I’ve been sitting on dog forums for over 12 years, because I’m bingo! I have dogs. And the bingo! We regularly discuss the herds, feeders and methods of combating them. Yes fucking, my dogs with stamps, chips and vaccines. We are all just for taxes and testing people who want to buy a puppy. But this song is a bunch of years, and now there is a walk out with a shocker to protect ourselves and our dogs from cute dogs. But to read all this on a humorous resource... who wrote about boredom there? Let the hand squeeze.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №116481
 24.07.2015
I want to see a good movie with my girlfriend. Can anyone advise a good girl?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №116480
 24.07.2015
You joke with your dogs!

The quote is not short. Just fucked up.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №116479
 24.07.2015
xxx: Culture of the film "Sitting" - "Sitting - 2"

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116478
 24.07.2015
for example, add to the utility payments the point of payment of the district shelter of homeless animals, and the grandmothers of the gods who feed the dogs of the homeless, themselves and will poison them and do not pay for the shob.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №116477
 24.07.2015
Summer, summer and the weekend. It is time for noon, the look falls on the doorstep, it is time to go through the Bulgarian, remove the old paint, and cover with new. I take the case, the Bulgarian whisper, the case is disputed. To the neighbors guests came, sit, talk, on "psetgram" seduce. I take a break, come in guests, pour, eat, quickly leave with the words - I need to further brush. Dinner... The Bulgarian whispers, the door is almost cleaned, and here I see a neighbor with a guest, the guest actively points to me with the finger and screams something. I turn off the Bulgarian, I raise my head - what is it? to interfere? The neighbor - no, you do not bother, just he sees a woman with a Bulgarian for the first time, says that you are like a female Yeti, everyone has heard about her, but no one has seen. Dinner... This is what I am, it turns out, the female Yeti, with the Bulgarian.)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №116476
 24.07.2015
Immediately called the bank, wanted a virtual card, the girl polently asked to wait, but apparently forgot to turn off the microphone... Further I hear: "Where to click here next, bl@dz"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №116475
 24.07.2015
He wrote to me, then stopped.
Well, yes, and if you write yourself, then a meteorite will fall to the ground, so it’s better not to.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №116474
 24.07.2015
Socks and washing machines

When I was a student, I met a fellow student: he lived in a shelter, I - with my parents.
We at the time had a half-automatic washing machine (at that time a very good thing) that washed and pressed, but the water had to be poured.

My friend of heart was wearing my underwear and clothes in the laundry, I was not stressed, washing my beloved person is a manifestation of care. Then it turned out that he blurred the intrigue with another classmate, who lived in the same community and chose her, because with me he lacked the drive.
Unilaterally, I decided that we were friends "and pulled with a backpack of dirty underwear. Very surprised that he was told "let your new love and wipes now". Driving was provided - washing your socks, trousers and bedding with the pencil in the basement.

There is no morality, it will be invented by local psychiatrists :)

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №116473
 24.07.2015
I thought you were drawing the star.
To receive us in October
Here you are more interesting.
The Rite

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №116472
 24.07.2015
Then came the neighbor who was in front of me. Thick, with Alabamas and Tajiks. He says, put a fence so that the neighbors do not envy and unintentionally do not smooth. The Green! Three meters! I say, so now the fence will be jealous - no one has three-meter fencing.
He left so upset that it was time to catch up and offer to build a fence around the fence.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116471
 24.07.2015
In the morning dressed in a new dress, but before leaving the house realized that the cowards had chosen not the most suitable. She went to the closet, got the other trousers, threw them on her shoulder, went to the bathroom. On the way, I was distracted by a telephone conversation. In general, I went with cowards hanging on my shoulder.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №116470
 24.07.2015
X: I have a beautiful white shirt hanging in my closet for a year, wearing only once on a big holiday.
X: sad to wear, brandy, wear quickly
X: found her a replacement for another cool shirt. With great discount.
X: Now I have two cool shirts hanging in my closet, which is a pity to wear :(

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №116469
 24.07.2015
xxx: Immediately you can see - I work in an information technology company.
Instead of pay, we sit and wait for information about salary.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №116468
 24.07.2015
They buy things that are not in their pocket and are not especially needed for life. The type to take the last merce in credit and all 5 years is wide and on paying for parking to save.
Poverty is not a defect

thank you? The last? In credit for 5 (Five!!?) Years? → There is no such misery in you; there is no such misery.

-----------
The fact that a man rides a Bentley doesn’t mean he has money. He may have spent a whole month.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna