bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122294
 25.12.2015
The daughter (3 years old) tells the grandmother about Andrey, about the fact that she called him to the ball... Grandma means, asks, asks....Vika says that Andrey loves computers, and chocolate and honey. The mother-in-law went to the basement and pulled a bowl of honey, gathered a bag of candy and corn sticks. He gives this matter to me and says - find time and go to the garden. I think... should I tell my mother-in-law that Andrew is 38 years old?! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №122293
 25.12.2015
Val: In the Middle Ages there were witches, including graduates of the high school of economics.
Ivan: There was less harm from witches

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №122292
 25.12.2015
XXX: What is it?
yyy: x@y to ocho
A person with a red diploma addresses a person with a red diploma.
Tag: the norm

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №122291
 25.12.2015
My husband decided to save. Now, when he washes the dishes, he first washes and puts it in a stack, and then already washes. All this time the water is poured with such pressure that the crane vibrates, and the sludge does not cope, and you have to take a break for "until the water goes down". It is >_<

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №122290
 25.12.2015
The old refrigerator is poorly closed, the rubber pad has dried up. The solution to the problem is to lubricate it with vaseline. I go to the pharmacy.
Good night, be a good Vaseline.
There is no vaseline. Young man, can you better look at lubricants?
I will not lubricate the refrigerator with lubricant >_<

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №122289
 25.12.2015
You will not understand these men.
They don’t like the ugly guys.
Now they don’t like the guy who took off the mask in ZV.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №122288
 25.12.2015
The question to the Administration of Bora-s which Ktolhu on the main, in the section "new"-hangs quotes of a month old?
Their occupation.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №122287
 25.12.2015
My grandmother’s brother was shot for dancing with an American woman. He told me this himself a few years ago.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №122286
 25.12.2015
I have an employee, a middle-aged man. He has problems with corporate drunkenness - it's like he's not craving, but he can't stop at the right moment during the corporate. He has been ten years in his second marriage and lives next to his job, but as he overcomes, he begins to break off on the autopilot in the suburbs, to his first wife (apparently, the next part of his life just falls out of memory).

This year, I got a new year drunk, asking a colleague how it all went.

Okay, I almost didn’t drink. Even Sanya went home right away, not on the electric car!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №122285
 25.12.2015
This is:
Cacenellenbogen is the cat's elbow joint. I hope it will be useful. and yours, cap

There is no such object that would not fit a Jew for a surname.
A.P Chekhov

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №122284
 25.12.2015
Even the floors of the house are better washed with simple cooking salt than with any chemistry.

xxx: Interestingly, if you start to call cooking salt sodium chloride, then all these people who are afraid of chemistry will not use it?
Yyy: No, they will switch to baking soda until you call it sodium hydrocarbonate.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №122283
 25.12.2015
Our entrance is extreme in the house. There is a building on two floors. There are small shops and workshops. Between the entrance and the entrance to the suburbs stands a banner-type advertising shield - with large letters is written "JUVELIR.1 floor" and such a curved arrow.And shows the arrow carefully on the windows of our neighbor from the first floor, who has three daughters. I thought it would make me smile, but not.
We walk with the dogs, the neighbor - a large-child daughter father begins a conversation on the subject - we want a boy, but we don't decide, again a hundred pounds of the girl will be idd itp... what the neighbor from the second floor, much-significantly knocking on the advertising shield, says - so you before the process of stamping.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №122282
 25.12.2015
Questions answered by mayl.ru
Section - Food and Cooking

I went to eat at McDonald’s very often in December. Now I have a delay of 2 days or so before it never happened - could any writing from McDonald's affect the menstrual cycle?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №122281
 25.12.2015
sansano4: Eb@l I have such signs.
Setverg: in the sense?
Sansano 4: After the rain. But not on the 24th of December.
Setverg: Do you have rain there? Did you say snow falls?
Sansano4: So it was Wednesday evening, and now it is Thursday morning.
Setverg: I’ll bring you skis and water skies, that’s for sure.
sansano4: ahah and cream for sunshine, or with this winter you will figure out what to wear...

[ + 28 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122280
 25.12.2015
A story from my grandfather’s life. Born in pre-war time got the name October (I don't know how in other CIS countries, but I still have a grandfather named Council).



So the story itself. My grandfather October was the editor of the regional newspaper. Everything was in the party at the time. He was at one of the party’s meetings. Then he began to get to know other people. A man approached him and extended his hand:

- February

A man without a back mind:

- October

He turned to him and went away. As it turned out later he insulted my grandfather, thinking he was mocking his name)) Until he showed him the party ticket he did not want to believe it)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №122279
 25.12.2015
DDD: And I brought the sowa.
What about the soap, okay? Will she eat all the spiders?
DDD: Not anymore The horse moved almost immediately.
DDD: I’ll go for another on the weekend.
You’re talking about the swallow now, right?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №122278
 25.12.2015
Next to the cemetery there is a parking lot for long-range fighters.
It looks funny. Tombs, crosses and a chapel nearby
And a huge banner "Shower "

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №122277
 25.12.2015
The fifth grade student returned home. On the way, I saw a man holding his chest fell, and, on the way, lost consciousness. As a real doctor, the student tried to provide first aid. Recalling the urgent conditions in therapy, he cried out to the patient, caused painful irritation, compressing the trapezoid. The reaction was zero. He then made a precardial blow. People passing by saw only a blow, and a lying man of the age, and mutilated the student so that that month was injured.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №122276
 25.12.2015
I remember, as a child, I painted a lot of flommasters filled with alcohol. My head hurt in the morning. I had to paint a little more.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №122275
 25.12.2015
December 24 Len. and обл. The Vyborg r.
Grandfather in the store sells strawberries and foxes.
It seems that the grandfather could not find anything else to ask from the twelve citizens sitting in the forest near the fire.

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