bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №115353
 26.06.2015
XHH: My friends say you’re retouching and so on. Graphics is not needed by anyone and that it can not even be called creativity. Are they right guys?

YYY:... and when this herd of fools with the right positions and professions will come to you to borrow money to borrow, because they have not yet given their February salary, you take a cigar, smoke a hundred-dollar bill and say that you are depressed by your own worthlessness and uselessness and you will not give money, because your conscience does not allow you to borrow your worthless money to the worthless.
Yes, then a couple of weeks you will have to eat the sauce... but how effective!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №115352
 26.06.2015
The official sales of the iPhone 6 have begun in Belarus.
Rollton manufacturers are delighted!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №115351
 26.06.2015
Philosophy of Language:

tn: Chren is added to the beef tongue in the table. At my turn the fuck is over. I asked to fill the container.
tn: The distributor was completely sincere, without a back-thinking cry to the chefs: "Boys, put the fuck!"

Can you tell us how she should have said it?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №115350
 26.06.2015
Here I understand that the nonsense dreamed, but I still break my head: how is breastfeeding indicated on the drawings according to GOST?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №115349
 26.06.2015
I don’t care if the microwave is 10 cm left than expected, or if the refrigerator is 25 cm. the right. Admissions are not critical in a room of 30 square meters. M is
___________
And to me, you have a kitchen of 30 square meters, I was enough when three millimeters were not enough for the machine to enter the gate.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №115348
 26.06.2015
... →
It is...
Well, the entire meeting is organized next Friday, at 19:00, in Moscow, metro China-City, at the exit of Varvarka)))) Orient - a two-meter funny guy)))
¯---
Don’t forget the roulette!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №115347
 26.06.2015
The distributor completely sincere, without a back-thinking cry to the chefs: "Boys, put the fuck!"

Crane, penis, screw, shell, shell, pilot.
If you think about writing, having heard these words, and you are at the same time over 14 years old – bad news for you.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115346
 26.06.2015
At 4 in the morning, I went to take the line for the ticket to the clinic, I thought I would be the first. Fourteen... The first two nights occupied... Long live Russia...)))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №115345
 26.06.2015
Comments on Hi-News
The Ford electric bike vibrates from the appearance of dams on the road.
XXX: In our country it will vibrate unstoppably.
Yyy: And it will be fucking popular with women.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115344
 26.06.2015
A colleague said:
My wife loves to cook. Moreover, he often bats with baked goods - plushes there, cakes - and the most favorite - mackerel roulette. Several times I got into the process of cooking, and noticed one thing: by turning the roulette, the wife cut off 5 cm of the paste from each end. and throwing out. I ask, what do the ends not please? "That’s what I want to do". And I saw, I thought, the eyes ran away. After a while, the situation repeats. My wife begins to crack that I ask stupid questions, so I have to. Waiting for a maid. "Mommy, and why are you cutting and throwing off the tip of the mackerel roulette?". "Aaaaaah, so when we lived in the public office, the plate was small, and the roulette did not get in, so it cut off - what to bake." Under the angry and humiliated gaze of my wife, I realized that I could no longer see roulette.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №115343
 26.06.2015
The Wild Topook
Yes, fucking, you went back into the floor shield in the morning. Ohuel once again and received the current pitch from the Soviet piece of antenna wire.

CS
Do you not know the case when you turn off the antenna, and a crazy part of the rocket is cut off?)) Because somewhere the zero collapsed and it went through the cox and the body of the calf to the rosettes =))

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №115342
 26.06.2015
Those who write answers to quotations with debba, debba! Go out, please go out. Very grateful.
The fucks.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №115341
 26.06.2015
He killed two fucking flies.
I don’t have sex and they won’t have:

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №115340
 26.06.2015
As it usually happens - I am ordinary, height, weight, work, apartment, household, and girls are not. You will regret, ask, and the character is, it turns out, shit!))))
-
First, it is surprising how it is: gold, not a man... and one. The last sentence explains how.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115339
 26.06.2015
Jump: Here’s how I remember now: in 2003, when Peter’s three hundredth anniversary was celebrated, the whole city was painted with inscriptions, such as “On the 300th anniversary...”, “On the 300th anniversary...”, and so on. These inscriptions stumbled deadly into Mosch. And when I saw the enormous advertisement on the stretch "In ZOOMUZEU NEW EXPOSITION", the pattern worked like a clock. I stood up in a stupor and thought for a long time where the tristamuseum in Peter came from, and what exhibits were in it.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №115338
 26.06.2015
I want to meet a programmer.

“Why, you’re a tester like... Aaaaaah, you’re about to get revenge?

The Dick...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №115337
 26.06.2015
I am pregnant, 20 weeks.
I stand at the self-service weights, where you need to place the goods - the barcode with the value will come out.
Product number 24, I approach by pressing 2 and 4, I see - not that.
Repeat procedure 2 and 4. Again not that.
2 and 4 again. Not that.
I called an employee. I complain about a barcode error. He dropped the weights. Weighing, pressing and not...
Again not that.
Another employee came, looked at my entertainment, took a bag from me and helped - a thousand fingers in the button with the number 24!!! and all.
The brain comes back!!! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №115336
 26.06.2015
A colleague gave the cat to a cage with a temporary accommodation with the cat.
After two days, the owner of the cat calls:
Hi, how is my neck? already? It is great! Did you take the video? No is? Sorry...
O_O

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115335
 26.06.2015
Man is almost the same bird. He can’t fly, and he can’t fly much more.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №115334
 26.06.2015
“Firtsov’s game was perfect and seemed so simple from the tribune that one day Anatoly was even asked if it was difficult to play that way. To what he in his own style replied, “Simply. very simple. It’s hard to train to play like that.”
Anatoly Tarasov

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna