Once I worked as a sanitary technician and learned a way to use the sewerage for free. But I and other employees were fired because we used this method.

and. Now I want to avenge them, and I tell you this way. We did this: you squeeze your hand in a push on the elbow, then sharply you pull, and the crap for 2 hours bats for free!

and. It works 100% on all toilets.

Today was the most epic game in my life:
I rented a car in the Czech Republic. We went to the surrounding sights. The first was one of the longest cable roads in Europe. 2.5km forward and 500m slope up. Let us sit, let us go, let us rejoice. From one thought "the longest" is already pleasant. But right in the middle of the distance, I put myself in my pocket behind my hat and pulled out the keys from the car. He went back on foot. Precisely the sliding slope after the rain. I came wet, dirty, I don't feel my legs, but happy - with the keys!

On the way to work:

Is Ukraine becoming a member of the EU? This member of the European Union is concerned.

Comrade about his mobile operator said: "I speak this thousand minutes in half an hour!"

XXX: There is nothing to watch on TV. I put a satellite - there was nothing to see even more!
YYY: You can still search for something uninteresting on the Internet.

In one of the forums:
...
Better to see once than to hear a hundred times.
YYY: And even better to touch.
Zzzz: It’s good to fuck!

I sit in the kitchen with my son and have breakfast.
I: "Good appetite!"
The son makes a solemn face and says: "Appetite. It will not perish from the thousand nine hundred and ninety-seventh year.

My wife and I work on interior design. Distributed the volume of work, warned that if it is overdue - I will go for mistakes.

After an hour, the result is square bulbs, and the light does not come from the window, but from a fictional basement, the entrance to which is located in the center of the room. And an evil smile.

The multiplier in the Russian language is not formed by the letters "a","i".
There are no exceptions! No tractor, no driver, no computer, no accountant, no shredder, no dollar, and no contract.
The masters look at it quite surprised.

When my husband is capricious, I threaten him that I will not sew for him the plush toy I promised for his birthday. He is frightened and does what I want. I am evil =)

No-no is :

I’ll tell you the ma-a-all secret.

Multiple numbers in the Russian language are not formed by the letters "a","i".
There are no exceptions!

and----
Please open your eyes, look at the snow and the sleeping lawns. And then state that there are no exceptions. Then go read about forms of formation of multiple numbers. Note that in addition to speech, there is also a professional language, in which the use of -A instead of -i/s is equally common. Read about the equivalent forms. Therefore, please install drivers on your computer, and I will look for drivers on the widget, motherboard, audio and wifi module. Because of the word of the drivers is already turning me.

in windows 8.1 restarted, we look forward to windows 8.2, which will return windows 7

Good night, sleep with your loved one. He turns his back and says:
It would be hot without ghosts.
Without what?
Without ghosts
Without what ghosts?
All of these emails.
Which emails?
What have you come to me!
I fell asleep sweet again.

And we have in the city an exhibition of sounding figures (modern fauna and dinosaurs). Part reacts to touches with "native" sounds.
The boys who trusted the exhibition changed some sounds for fun.
The people were roaring at first, but after the incident, when the child, who approached and swallowed the enormous Triceratops with sad eyes, stunned, hearing a loud GAV, the rage ended.

The fire occurred due to the violation of the rules of smoking in the bed.

Diman: Summer, I’m standing in the headphones, dancing in the tact of music and smiling at the sunny day. With a light scarf on my face, a ragged neck on my head, I wear light jeans, a shirt, a pink vest. I know I’m being pulled for my pants. I turn around, a 6-year-old girl stands and looks at me with huge eyes. I take off my headphones and bow to her. You are dumb, you are dumb? “Emmm... Yeah... The girl turns around and cries in the whole voice – MAM, I HAVE SAYED THIS BILLAN!

Dear parents!

Stop posting your words here. Believe me, they seem cute and funny only to you.
Nobody cares about your kids, okay? No one." © J. Carlin

Today in Arbat took part in the video recording of a strong man of Russia... It was necessary to hold a chain of 12 kg on an extended arm... I watched first one stood 30 seconds, then the second 20 seconds, the woman held 2 seconds... I learned that today there was a record of 40 seconds... I asked... I stood, recorded, held, started counting, filmed on the camera. Filmed from different angles, at 15 seconds I felt trembling, at 30 felt proud, at 40 began to appear tired, at 50 began to vibrate a hand, at 56 gave up... So to say, they shot me... there was no limit to joy) I went quietly... I didn’t want to say that in the contest the strongest man for today won the Ukrainian... Maybe they would still remember Povetkin)

Review of Battlefield 4:
The whole story revolves around the aircraft carrier Valkyrie, but in reality it revolves around the fucking scriptwriters.

When I was young, I loved drinking. That’s why my wife left me. In short, I lived with my deaf old mother in a three-bedroom apartment. My name is Victor. Although it is uncomfortable to write such an unpleasant event, but in thirty years it can happen to anyone.

One day after work, I had a lot of fun with my friends. I came home on autopilot. My mother was watching TV in the living room. Sound for the whole corner. I quietly crashed into my room, raised the couch seat to get the bedding... But then the last forces left me – I fell with a bullet into the couch’s bottom, and the seat over me fell. I was medium-sized, shorter, fit perfectly in the couch box and fell asleep.

Mom, watching the movie on the telecast, looked into my room. and none. I thought she had stumbled somewhere. She closed the entrance door to the castle and lay on the bed in the bedroom. There was a dead silence in the apartment.

At two o’clock in the night, I woke up with a thirst. The head was torn, the whole body was hurt, the leg was cramped and wanted to go to the toilet. I opened my eyes, it was dark. “Where am I? I asked myself. I need to get rid of it or I will die!”

I laid my hands on a hard bed and tried to sit down. The Bach! He hit the forehead of the faner. “What fucking thing?“!”

I examined the surrounding space with tremendous palms. On top of the cover, on the sides, the boards... “Lord! I am in the grave! My eyes came out of the orbit of horror. Somewhere he ate, cut off, and I was mistakenly buried alive!



No is! Let me go!! I am alive!! – I stumbled in panic and started to knock my limbs into the top of the box... However, a tired mother didn’t hear anything. Her restless sleep could only be disrupted by a weapon salute made right in the bedroom.

I became weak and cried bitterly in my grave. What a terrible end! I counted it. He was buried alive for thirty years.

However, when I crushed, I still took myself in my hands. Maybe it’s not all lost yet? There was a weak hope in me. Sasuke himself buried the cemetery. The deck was slightly nailed and all... And the earth, maybe loose – buried by drunken slugs and, like, hardly trumpeted... After all, if I don’t come out myself – both! Cranes to fuck!“!”

I gathered the last forces in a bunch, strained, stepped my feet and hands into the "cover" and pressed in a stangistic way! The heavy seat of the couch rose up... I rushed into a light crack, like a bottle of champagne!

Painfully shaking my back, I fell out of a wooden confinement on the parquet floor.

The A-A! A wild, heartbreaking scream broke out of my traumatized vodka chest.

Save it! Save me!! I am not dead! I am alive!! to

Their brains were feverishly scanning the surrounding muddy SOMETHING. There was no dirty ground nearby. I thought it was Morocco...

The whistle of a wounded bear, comparable in decibels to an atomic explosion, awakened not only the mother, but also the neighbors.

The wretched mother rushed to the call, turning on the light.

Ritchie, what about you?! to

She was in my sight in the fog. But I stopped riding on the floor, stumbled on the parent with a glass mad look... Nausea flew from anywhere, it was disgusting. I, driving away all this ugliness with my hands, thought that I had met my mother in the sunny paradise!

Are you dead too? I asked and cried again.

Well, the mother, of course, rushed to her child, began to lick me on the head, tightly pressed to herself, as in childhood, and often cried, comforting:

No one is dead, my son. We are all alive! You had a bad dream. Look, this is your room. Do you know?

Slowly my self-control returned to me. I climbed to the prison sofa, touched it and finally "looked out" - I realized in which "grave" I spent the night.

Well, I drank, of course, 200 grams with lemon. I swear to him that many years have passed since then. I don’t drink after that nightmare. Sometimes I drink beer with cakes. The happy wife returned, gave birth to an heir. Life is fine...



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