bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90420
 30.11.2013
The shops! Why are you putting New Year’s trees so early? Because of you, the child requires a tree at home in November

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №90419
 30.11.2013
Heallex: Lenka, stop scraping on Skype, come better to me!
Heallex is. Not seen for a long time)
mimi_your: what will we do?
Heallex: What is it? Playing Chess of course.
Heallex: I’ll show you a few winning positions ;)
mimi_your: I can play chess
Heallex: especially) and we’re going to drink a lot of tea, I have a big cup!
I am dressed :*

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №90418
 30.11.2013
xxx: Coming advertising catalogue from Canada
xxx: on the envelope is written: "Ukrainian SSR"
XXX: It seems to be truly unbreakable.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №90417
 30.11.2013
I had a Russian teacher at school. and temporary. I don’t know where it was stolen from. But somehow, checking the dictatorship of one of the quite literate students, she corrected half the correct words to the wrong one, put a three with a minus and signed - "UzhEs".
This is he himself. by JES.

and...
In us, in the praised Soviet times, by the way, the teacher of Russian was replaced by the director, a philologist of education. For the fact that I dared to correct her mistake on the board, she put a record in my diary (literally): "Dear parents, your daughter is systematically holding on to the lesson." This was my favorite recording with my ancestors.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №90416
 30.11.2013
Olga: And in general, a piece of Scandinavia is always with me.
A... a tail?
No, but the name :)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №90415
 30.11.2013
The instinctive property of a person, everything he sees is to adjust in the farm))))
The evolution of man: man is skillful, man is intelligent, man is overwhelming!

[ + 45 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90414
 30.11.2013
Roman Avdeev, an entrepreneur - Now that there is a calculator in every phone, I have a question: why teach children the table of multiplication? If the task is to develop a child's memory, then let them better learn poems, because they not only improve memory, but help improve speech and develop imagination.
One of the comments:
The answer to the fool Ofdeev is simple: then to come up with phones with calculators.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №90413
 30.11.2013
It turns out that there is such an actor Ivan by the name Sergei. His wife is Tanya Sergei.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №90412
 30.11.2013
I went to my village from the district center last night. Close to the students - from the communes on the weekend drive home. I hear the ear talk:
Where is Vanessa? I have not heard anything about him for a long time.
- Yes, we are studying in the universe, became an excellent, the infection is like this.
Was he supposed to be taken to the army?
He has a certificate that he is mentally retarded.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №90411
 30.11.2013
The old magic still works.
I just caused rain by an ancient ritual of washing the car.
A day until December. in Novosibirsk.
We will have to clean the windows in February.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90410
 30.11.2013
ealand: yesterday the template barely lasted, but then turned into an epic file
The Sky: How is it?
ealand: generally ordered a T-shirt 10 days ago, I check the mail every day, there were no receipts, I called yesterday afternoon from the mail
ealand: bla-bla, we have your package here, come and take the receipt directly when you receive it.
ealand: I take, I open home - oh, the T-shirt has already come, indeed, the color is slightly different, but it is the same, and in 10 days all!! shock, joy, thoughts "the mail finally started working normally, and even over the NG, in the crash", the pattern is cracking.
ealand: I sit behind the home computer, and there is just the page of the tracking open, I look - and the nifiga, even the customs has not yet been accepted, I think, so what is the nafig?
ealand: and here I fall - I go into the history of orders, I look at it - and definitely, I already ordered the same stuff, waited, didn't wait, got a refund and forgot...
ealand: really ordered in April, and here it was before me and arrived, broke through the track
ealand: Generally speaking, what is it for - maybe we will send wine by post to Russia? Do you look at the price adding great until it comes?

[ + 34 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90409
 30.11.2013
I remember taking the exam at the Technical...
YYY: But you are studying at the tower!
xxx for my family. I came with her. They looked at me and asked,
In the back?
and yes.
In the 11th class?
and yes.
I gave them a form that I decided in 5 minutes, and I waited for 20 more for others to decide. The acquaintance signed. As I asked, I went out in the noise.
I only got into one thing: I got the highest ball.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №90408
 30.11.2013
here here :

Our timlid once asked my colleague, “What did you do usefully today?” and his
The answer began with the words "I broke.."

Hi my test colleagues! We legally break programs and get money for it :)

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90407
 30.11.2013
- So what did you set up here - spikes, spikes... much have you seen on the roads of Kamaz, buses or trolley buses on spikes? Spikes should be in the head, not in the wheels! Carroche - what tyres are worth - summer or winter, this is only true for the lashar, who do not know how to ride! Learn to ride!
No, there’s no money on whom?
and ah :(

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №90406
 30.11.2013
I can’t imagine the fifth Terminator – Schwartz is already old, where he can run, break his jaw, jump on a motorcycle from the squad...

Make a movie in Chinese style. An old man, whitened with grays, taught by the experience of centuries, the Terminator sits on the bank of the river, plays the flute and waits for the bodies of enemies to pass by him!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №90405
 30.11.2013
Bulgakic, bulgakic, bulgakic, bulgakic, bulgakic, bulgakic and without doping. And who is it? To scandalize, to confuse, to disturb, to upset.

The bed is overwhelmed, rotted.
"Sir" to you to translate, child?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №90404
 30.11.2013
From the talk of a new order of grants and in general of vases
xxx - I know a person who changed the new 9-k to the new 8-k just because it's "buy".
YYY - Yes, any way doesn't even reach the plateau.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №90403
 30.11.2013
He had problems with the girls, and now he also bought a sitroën.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №90402
 30.11.2013
What are your plans for the evening?

Throw pieces of human body into the toilet. I plan a murder tonight.

Oh oh oh!!!! to

The man cut his nails, cut the cuts on the floor.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №90401
 30.11.2013
to this:

If you judge by how modern women dress, they need sex much more than men.

To give as they dress...

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