bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №121519
 07.12.2015
XXX: World After in the Scale of Izhevsk
XXX: The World Flood
xxx: "The World After" is my pofigistic attitude to life

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121518
 07.12.2015
If the doctors were IT-specialists:

I don’t have a keyboard.

Take samples for subclavial sugar and lactose, take a X-ray and functional key test.
[After 2 months and 20 thousand rubles]... Indeed, a caramel plaque was found under the gap.

What to do?

- You are shown a conservative therapy: tap the reverse keyboard for 15 minutes every day, then wipe the key with alcohol for 15 minutes, then develop the key manually. Before the end of the life of your system unit, try to use the gap as rarely and carefully as possible. Put a virtual keyboard and print with the mouse.


[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №121517
 07.12.2015
XXX is Hi! Do you know where Oleg is? Long time no see him.
YYY: And he went on vacation home. Looking for a wife.
xxx: aaa... it means to go away)))

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121516
 07.12.2015
He worked in the business analytics department of a large Swiss bank. For six working days at work, only a girl was noticed teaching me, the rest solving crosswords, reading comics or even drawing in a square, changing the size and color of the cells. I have broken the stereotype about the quality of Swiss banks. The workers themselves also roast: they made the icon "Employee of the year" and glued it to the coffee machine.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121515
 07.12.2015
OAK E1thema "OAKZV: a dog breed by PHOTO"
Visitor Vasily: Hasky shakes a little?
bd68: Do we sell or buy?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №121514
 07.12.2015
Aunt from a neighboring office recently came to us at the company, asked for help: they replaced the power unit in the compass on their own, and it then stopped running. So I went to see. But did you know that the floppy power connector is perfect for the FAN CPU connector? I didn’t suspect it until then.)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №121513
 07.12.2015
Your child looks at the root:

He told the child that Santa was a fantasy. A child in retaliation told me that the news of the First Channel was untrue.

Children believe in Santa and adults believe in fair elections and weather forecasts.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №121512
 07.12.2015
Vladimir: You know, sometimes when communicating with you, it seems to me that I am communicating with a random number generator. You change your opinions, your moral attitudes, and your conversations so often that I feel like I’m talking to a whole club of schizophrenics.
Vladimir: And I like it.)
Vladimir: Ability to communicate with any type of people

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №121511
 07.12.2015
>> xxx: How can a sweet grandmother with such a weak, barely hearing voice CHROP like a rich?

And so often happens. People with weakened neck tongue and lowered sky snoring, which means just a quiet voice. If you do snoring exercises, the voice will become louder.
Very educational.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121510
 07.12.2015

"K12th
Oh these vendors, for humans out how many bageroports and at least one fix, and for cats please:("

Cats are a flagship model. This is also evidenced by fur finish, improved gyroscope and hanging on the legs, improved audio track, high sensitivity eyes, silent suspension.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №121509
 07.12.2015
Today in the subway next to me sat a girl, and her young man stood still. I still don't really like to sit when at the peak hour a full car of women and girls nearby, conscience does not allow, in general, I stood up silently and left to stand at the door.
A minute later, the girl comes and stretches me a banana. In gratitude.
Thank you guys, it’s nice to know that you’re responding well.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №121508
 07.12.2015
8[14:05:51] ss: new advertisement in the elevator
8[14:05:59] ss: "pitzman and sushman. Delivery "
8[14:06:06] ss: wrote: "mats"

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121507
 07.12.2015
There is such a historical film "Gettysberg" There is such a pleasure of giving tribute to tolerance. For the first five minutes of the film, the soldiers march to the battlefield, pass through the village where they are handcuffed by women, and then under a tree find a wounded Negro. Further, there are four hours of offgenic battle scenes where there is not a single lady or a single Negro.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №121506
 07.12.2015
In the mail of a very intelligent appearance, the grandmother said on the phone:
Today is Wealth Day! Wherever I go, I get my pension!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121505
 07.12.2015
The devil of the mouth (13:46:25 7/12/2015)
We are smiling here.
We have a top-down mandatory program for scrolling social advertising videos of the Ministry of Health on our TVs.
We report the clocks that scrolled in each roll (debility, but not the essence)
The fact is that the sound is almost everywhere silenced on the telics, and people look there and look away.
so here, all these videos are good-beautiful-thinking, but only when there is a sound series, and the context of the misanthropy, stretched over the entire video 2-3 minutes.
No matter how you look at the screen, at any time.
People swallow, swallow suspicious pills, smoke and engage in random relationships.
We are advertising, we are going.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №121504
 07.12.2015
What is the right expression: espresso or express?

Tagged: espresso

xxx: thank you

YYY: Not for anything. I am an expert on this.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121503
 07.12.2015
Comments on "A missing Chinese woman lived in an internet cafe for 10 years" :

“In a cafe, they found a girl raised by a computer.”

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №121502
 07.12.2015
I go home from the universe. I met a beautiful girl. She looked at me and smiled sweetly. The mood immediately rose. I come home and look in the mirror: I put on a hat. Swamp outside. Everything got to its place.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №121501
 07.12.2015
My mother has been sick for a long time. Cancer with all its consequences. But, until the last, she wandered everywhere, in small affairs and hospitals, believing that as soon as she would lie down, she would immediately die. It may be so. Sometimes she got bad on the way. She did not lose consciousness, but there was a sharp weakness and she settled on the ground. Sometimes I managed to get to the bench, sometimes it didn’t work. People often stopped and offered help. Since she did not walk far, everyone near the house, was accompanied home a couple of times. But usually she refused with gratitude, attacks of weakness passed quickly and she went home without problems.



At one such moment, she found herself at the fence of the kindergarten, the fence is long, at the path "the fence" is grassy. That’s where she’s sitting. I went out of the store, a few products in a package. I sit, he says, breathing fresh air, spring is good. She was optimistic. A 25-year-old man approached her and asked what had happened. Mom usually refused, said, the weakness is strong, will soon pass. The guy took a pack of foods and quickly left.



My mother told me that with laughter. That is, the fool. There would be something to steal, bread, and a pack of strawberries. A couple of years have passed, my mom is almost a year away, and I can’t forget and forgive him. As I remember this guy, I immediately want to break his part.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121500
 07.12.2015
on the local website posted a history (to unleash the holiwar and increase visibility)
on the topic that a young dad began to disturb a small child (weeping, requiring attention and others)

The people met in comments, but especially distinguished one judge, saying that if a man becomes a father, he is the victim.
It would be interesting to see his father.


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