bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №118361
 11.09.2015
xxx: If you believe Wikipedia, the male giraffes have much more homosexual contacts than the natural ones.
Yyy: They just don’t see the gender traits from such a top.

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118360
 11.09.2015
This is:

“Equal rights for all” is one of the most hypocritical phrases. The people who pronounce it will never fight to provide homeless people with housing and work, they will not fight to ensure that EVERYONE has a job with such a salary that they can rest in Spain once a year.

Equal rights means that they have the right to find a job or earn an apartment on their own, not that others will do it.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118359
 11.09.2015
Direct for a couple or three months is very easy to get rid of. Take and follow the search queries:
Zoroastrianism in Somalia
Farm to buy Spitzbergen
My friend narcissist what to do
Capibara - care and breeding
Resort of Fomalhaut
Electromagnetic compatibility of cupcakes
Theory of narrow bones

Direct ceases to understand whom he contacted and gives the usual standard advertising.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118358
 11.09.2015
Not to be hidden from the sun,
The earth is melting from the heat.
In Siberia it is windy, plus thirty,
11th of September ?

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №118357
 11.09.2015
Did you say "Sexual Cobb"?
- I said "coaxial cable"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №118356
 11.09.2015
here here :
The famous horror film director, during a visit to Russia, walking late in the evening, accidentally found himself in Butovo, realized that he had all his life filmed innocent and good children's fairy tales.

Stop chasing the buttocks!! This is a quiet bedroom area. And if you light up the road with an iPhone, you can be robbed in any area.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118355
 11.09.2015
> men do not understand how to show sexuality. Well muscularity in summer clothes is still visible, and in winter how?

Do you really think that sexuality is just body parameters? And intimacy for you is probably always associated with sex? I highly advise you to read an explanatory dictionary, at least to find out the meanings of the words you use. And it is also worth thinking about how many in the world of sexy fat, or very thin people, literally running for the representatives of the opposite sex.

One man complains to another that he doesn’t know what to do with women.
Most importantly, how to start? Another advises him:
When you go to bed, put her hand on her stomach and say, “I love you!” and then she will tell you what to do.
He did so. He put his hand on his stomach and said, “I love you.”
Below, asks the woman.
“I love you,” he repeats with a bass.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №118354
 11.09.2015
Culture news

The Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards has allowed his daughters to smell his dust after death if they want to. Richards admitted that he once mixed his father’s dust with cocaine and inhaled the mixture. “He was cremated, and I couldn’t resist smelling him a little. It went well and I’m still alive.”

The musician stopped using cocaine in 2006 after falling from a tree on the island of Fiji in a state of narcotic intoxication and underwent neurosurgery due to a brain shock. He has not taken heroin since 1978.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №118353
 11.09.2015
Jylia: I cynically driven a dog out of his home at the age of three. The poor had to sit on the streets and seek justice from the adults. The adults, of course, did not even have the dog, they were looking for me.
I went into the dog cabin and fell asleep there.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №118352
 11.09.2015
by Vigdis:
Today, in an eco-store, I saw a woman buying snowflake honey. I asked, were his bees gathered or his elves? The woman and the seller looked at me as if I had spit them in the third chakra. No, I understand, people come to complete fucking in their desire to live forever, but the snowflake honey...

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №118351
 11.09.2015
From Wiki:
According to an ancient legend, in ancient times the Turks captured this town and wanted to taste a local delight - borst. One Ukrainian agreed to prepare lunch for the invaders, but the dish with something (possibly using non-chalical pork) did not come to the taste of the captain, who began to crush the woman. He screamed until the Ukrainian got angry and struck him on the head with a pumpkin, and then drowned the offender in the borst. Therefore, the town was named in honor of the dish that caused the death of the unnourished enemy.

Probably since then, the men and loved the borst.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118350
 11.09.2015
A: Can you give me my photos in the form of documents, not in the form of photos?

I: Emm, in what format do you need it?

and.jpg


[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №118349
 11.09.2015
1: a good LED lamp, you can't break your leg and hit a couple of nails, for example.
2: Yes, this is the disadvantage of any microscope.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118348
 11.09.2015
The boy wrote that just mature aunts are clinging to him. Adulthood begins at 50 years old.
>>>>>>>>>>>>
It is all about the point of reference. For a 25-year-old boy maybe yes, 30-35 are mature aunts. And for a 45-year-old man, these ladies are almost minor.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №118347
 11.09.2015
With the communists we did not believe in communism, and with the capitalists we do not believe in capitalism. @Konaarm

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №118346
 11.09.2015
This story happened to me and my wife.
We bought an aquarium, large, beautiful, launched a fish. And here among these fish were scalarians. Three pieces. As later turned out, 2 boys and 1 girl. We noticed that 2 boys periodically fight with each other, a girl so standing in the middle, and 2 males urinate in her eyes. One boy is big, the other is smaller, the size matters, a small puddle resulted in burning in the corner of the aquarium, and the winner cared for a happy female.
So my wife took the courage every time during their battles to tick me about the laws of nature and male competition in relationships.
I was sorry for the burn-out, I went to the same store and bought 2 females, no different. Relationships in the prajada changed sharply, the female became sharply dissatisfied with the filling, even fights among the females increased during my childhood. The wife was silent. But when the females were already running after him, and he no longer knew where and with whom, I said to his wife:
“Dear, it was your women’s dreams, and this is statistical reality.
The moral of this fairy tale is this - sometimes to be respected as a martyr is enough and 300 rubles.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №118345
 11.09.2015
The best way to tell kids about taxes is to eat 13% of their ice cream.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118344
 11.09.2015
Hubr, from comments to the news about the change in the JetBrains product licensing rules:

xxx: with all respect (you do good products) - go to the ass.
Okay, thank you, we’re going to go in the ass.
YYY: And there we will make good products.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №118343
 11.09.2015
Twitter @bobuk
The AppleTV controller will be adapted for operation in Russia and will be equipped with a set of multi-colored polyethylene bags. Price of packages $139

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №118342
 11.09.2015
A husband and a brother discuss a friend who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia.
A year ago, I was told that I slept with the Queen of England.
Maybe he has such fantasies.
I don’t have such fantasies!
You just have a bad taste.)

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna