How to win a girl who has a boyfriend in the 21st century:
1st Take a guy to a girl.
2nd to abandon him.
Three To win a girl’s heart.
4 is To strengthen the relationship, tell how that guy treated you badly and
convince her that he is not worthy of both of you.

Yesterday we watched hockey USA-Russia. Close to the end of the 3rd period, a man from the neighboring department looks, approaches a comrade and watches at 8:3 in his monitor. In trouble, the monitor looks at me and complains:
Do you have the same account?

RT @too_white I do not trust LG. Khabensky, won, is changing the phone for the second time in a month.

to this
Files submitted by: Dissertation.docx
XXX: I put it on my desk. suddenly who sits down and sees - oh u xxx dissertation on the desk. by Nihua
yyy: And open in the hope that there is porn and there is a real dissertation
______
Oh, what a pervert you need to be in order to look for porn in a word file :D

Husband of son (1 year and 4 months):
When he started pinning the brick, I realized it was time to buy the ball.

“Vitalik, I’m sorry, but I slept with your girlfriend.
Who are you? So she needs.

The Pilot

I was stopped by a hovercraft (I flew 250 on an empty track). Asked for documents. I sent him a commercial pilot certificate. He broke up, checked the real rights and let go.

How many miles from the gauge did you stop at the speed of 250? Or did he dream of you?

I sit at work. The heat is terrible, the doors for the door. Suddenly a loud voice comes from the neighboring room: “Let’s go, little... Oh, how good!”
I look cautiously because of the squid - the employee has excavated somewhere a small, barely alive, prehistoric fan and rejoices that he blows her up...

Axsor: The Czech hockey team has a player named Nakladal. I watched the Czech-Canada match and heard from a commentator a stunning phrase: "I put pressure on the Canadians". I would also be under the pressure of the Canadians!

At work we sit after lunch... rubbing straight.
A colleague says: fun for cats... they can sit and sleep on a chair.
I: Well, it’s all about the chair. You can also find it to sleep.
He: No, it won’t fit in the office. If I wanted to sleep, I turned into a cat. The boss comes in and you are the cat.
Another colleague: and cats can’t be mocked!

Fuck, the code is a coffin on the coffin. Not coding, but cost-oriented programming.

xxx> remembered how in the 7th grade we were told to learn a poem "anything", and asked then about other subjects very much
xxx> I learned, went out to the board and told with the appropriate expression
yyy> and what?
xxx and xxx;
The epithelium.

No need for inscriptions for my dust.
Just write here - "he was and is not his".

and all.
yyy> ah, that’s great :)
xxx> I performed the task exactly as the instructor said ("learn any"), but I was put a pair, it turns out, it was necessary to be more, not less than two 4-steps (although in the technical task nothing was said about the volume). Since then I prefer to clarify the details of important projects that are only in the mind of the customer/user.

Conversation by phone of the manager (M) with a young client (K):

K: And I am that, hop! Your grandmother threw you, and the guy is all a bunch...What do you have there?
M: It is from the wall that the portrait of Pushkin has fallen and beats on the floor in hysteria.

The team of the Russian national hockey team is being negatively impacted "Transmission on the first channel": the Russian national hockey team is weakened, defenseless, slowed down and cursed.

Galatea23: By the way, about people-accidents. Yesterday Tanya told me that she was going to do an audit with an agent on his territory, and almost gave up laughter.
Galatea23: Katya, the agent, first, coming out of the car, with all the doors fucked in the face of the door, so far none of them know how it happened. While Katya and Tanya were laughing, Katya took the bulb out of the bag and bite it, apparently very royally - the bulb somewhat cut off her lip and nose, Katya begins to flow blood.
Galatea23: Yesterday I laughed a lot at this story.
And today I poured out a very hot tea, and my nose was very cold, and I drove it to the edge of the cup, and I will smell the boiling water.
Galatea23: The Sophia was swallowed

Aglan: Onishchenko burned
Aglan: The disease begins as an acute respiratory infection, or as a diarrhea infection, starts with difficulty breathing, lung edema and death.
Aglan: Make a start!

Smokers are delighted today. I go into the store, a aunt stands with a bag full of cigarettes, asks me: Do you smoke? No is.
I had pink dreams. I go into the store, a aunt stands with a bag of honeymoon........ and says: Hi, you eat ice cream? We offer you to exchange the rest of your ice cream for our new one. I would break.

Dear Tankers! Do you want to visit a thematic website/forum?

I am a Jewish botanist. Therefore, my childhood in a city like Nikolaev was very painful, but fortunately I had a friend neighbor Kostya with whom we were friends from an early age, and he always protected me. But this was not the case when I was offended by hooligans at school, Kostia advocated for me, Kostia was a strong karatist. And to my greatest sorrow, I always called him when I needed help, and he came up for me and left with a smile on my face, and I acted like a real pig and thought he was just obliged to do it. But it was 10 years ago, I thought about everything and decided to make a gift to Kosty I ordered 2 chic babes (6 years didn't see Kosty only communicate on the Internet): I: Kostaja come urgently, I am in Nikolaev I have problems Kostaja: Where are you? I : Yacht club goes 30 minutes comes Kostia comes out of a taxi all he is in oil or I x3 in what (working at the factory) Kostia : Do you have a problem with them? (And it shows hinting on the girls) I : Yes. Kostia takes each on the right straight, both ladies fall unconscious and says: "George, I told you to play sports, you see what a chilly was. Sitting in a taxi and leaving. Never forget about your friends and do not exchange them for money because real friends if you need to even protect you from babies. p.s I didn’t tell Kosta that it was confusing for him, I just called him in the bathroom of others.

Goose is burning.
Russia to USA. Radulov misses the shadow as a result of a goal for us. The camera on Radulov, on the lips clearly reads: "Yes, no!and "
Gusev: "How I’m not right" says Alexander.