bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №91317
 18.12.2013
The local police officer does not travel to the scene of the accident for two hours. Smoking in three cars. The guys from the first:
Do we guess again and call again?
Men from the second:
- in principle, we only carried cars, there are no victims - like you can draw a scheme and go to them yourself... but you need to call: suddenly they are already going, and we have dropped - unpleasant somehow...
Echo from the third (training driving 2 months, already calling):
Hello to Gibbs? We are waiting for a patrol here, and he doesn’t go... yes, yes, this crossroads... B. EAT, you now still have to make sacrifices?? to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №91316
 18.12.2013
From the morning tweet:

@bolknote: Why Mr. Anderson? In the name of what? What are you doing? Why do you get up to work?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №91315
 18.12.2013
Can a couple of Korean cuisine recipes be thrown into the "dog’s" holivar?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №91314
 18.12.2013
You have forgotten that every day at the swing of the stick, Dumbledore covered the health tables with a variety of dishes, including a ready potato.

And you all, dragging, dragging...why dragging if the fried potatoes are already on the table?)))))
_________________________________________
You... read the book. They cooked home elves there, and a swing of sticks was a signal to the elves that could be served on the table.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №91313
 18.12.2013
The employee told me yesterday.
Driving to China. Well, they go with a girlfriend to the market of some, and there the Chinese jump out of their tents and arms "Hunja! Let’s go fucking! Fuck!", and throw your finger somewhere in your shopping tent.
My friend: I think? or...
My friend: You don’t think anything. Here Russian tourists are full, the Chinese are trying to match them something, show them, and our gaze gives the conclusion of "Tyfu, Hyunya," and go on.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №91312
 18.12.2013
To everyone who writes, "Ah, and this is a breakdown, all of itself is perfect, why do I not need anyone?"
understand now. Normals are chosen not by the number of pluses, but by the disadvantages that can be tolerated. And think for a moment (and better honestly ask your friends), what is there in you that fucking covers all of your "revelation".
And then the parable:
There lived Elena the Wise and Basil the Beautiful...She is so terrible, and the other is so stupid!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №91311
 18.12.2013
@archidea: I want to be immovable, but somebody is constantly slapping me.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №91310
 18.12.2013
The claim I submitted in the "Mobile Banking" section, that I cannot connect through the site the "Mobile Banking" service, because they do not receive SMS with a password, Sberbank rejected with the wording "Mobile Banking" service is not connected.

The circle closed.

[ + 27 - ] [8 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №91309
 18.12.2013
I have a daughter: 25 years old, candidate of science, model appearance, 90-60-90, height 173, weight 68 kg, blonde, salary more than 1000 EUR (chap. A car, a car, an apartment. Everything is. What shit is she without a guy? No, I am not advertising. Just explain it.
and...
We are embarrassed.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №91308
 18.12.2013
All these idiots:
This and other girls.

Once went such a drunk... a girl, 21 years old, a student of MGU, I work, 169 cm, 65 kg, cute, stupid, I cook deliciously. One, sad and virgin.

Fuck, where are you all hiding?
25 years old looks attractive. Zp ~4000+$ I cook, clean, wash and smooth. one one.

As long as you think that people choose each other by age, weight, salary, generally accepted attractiveness parameters and all kinds of household (cooking / cleaning / washing) - you will be lonely. Decide first for yourself who you want to see next to you. Determine your brain, not patterns. It will be easier immediately.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №91307
 18.12.2013
I’m tired of these cocktails! I want meat, normal human meat!! to
YYYYYYYYYY...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №91306
 18.12.2013
From the website of the University (UrFU, ECB.“Today, fortunately, graduates of the leading universities of the country do not have problems with employment,” the Russian education minister said. Chairman of the supervisory board of the university Dmitry Pumpyansky added that graduates of UrFU are so in demand that large industrial corporations are not so easy to get them to work.
Also, try to find us, we are running for a job at least looking for something.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №91305
 18.12.2013
Do you want to visit the "Clitor" Shopping Centre? Visit to B-r Dmitry Donsky. There it is written: TC "Clitor". During the day it is harmless cliffstar)

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №91304
 18.12.2013
XX: And now listen to the story of human stupidity. In our factory, before making a detail, a model is created. It is no different from the original model (even painted in the same color to reveal if there will be marriage painting), only made of wood.
So here. On Monday, a batch of such models instead of moving to the next workshop, for some reason was delivered to the control department. They were checked there!!! sent to the warehouse. The warehouses are also not embarrassed that the details are too light and have a different invoice. They handed them over to the cargo. They were loaded and sent to customers.

But that is not all. On that side the details were unloaded, checked (!!!) They are handed over to the workers so that they can be inserted into the general mechanism. And they almost put it in!!But at some point, something happened, or it broke. And the batch of details returned to us with the tag: "Factory marriage". Party of the Tree!! The marriage!! to

I don’t even know who is the bigger fool.

XX: I was a bigger debil, the head of the transportation department, because my car delivered poor quality goods to customers. Next time I’ll check the details personally.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №91303
 18.12.2013
xxx: Gentlemen, and nobody here does not cultivate indoor plants?
Yyy: Well, if "I water them, and they still die" is considered - then I am in this big doc

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №91302
 18.12.2013
Ukraine is thinking about joining the EU, Britain is thinking about leaving it.
The European Union is slowly moving eastward.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №91301
 18.12.2013
This is:
DrRein: I was in a wagon with a man looking at Dexter’s tablet. He pushed me, stood on my feet and did not let me out of the car. In the turn on the escalator, he also did not miss and blinked something like "where to climb", although there was a doher of space in front of him.
He told him that the Trinity would kill Rita at the end of the season.
Good luck to fuck.

What I did to you, don’t do it.( by

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №91300
 18.12.2013
zzz: Please move my post from the dog topic to the grandmother’s. The window is wrong.
You are late, Daddy. You have been struck there and there.

[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №91299
 18.12.2013
God, when did dogs and cats become more important to you than people?

When – I don’t know, but where can I say.
There is a documentary series - Natives in England, there natives from French Polynesia came to England. They went to a hairdresser for animals. They looked at. After a while, later, they saw the bombardment and asked, “Who is this?” They explain that this person does not have a home and lives on the street (and the European winter on the street). The locals asked: How is it? The man has no home and he eats what he gets, and the dogs have a hairdresser. Why so?
There was no answer.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №91298
 18.12.2013
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
We’ve been with you for a long time, so I decided.
I think you will understand me.
WOW : What?? to
Q: I have a constipation, do you know anything (other than laxative)?
Wow, that’s what you’ve just written that helps a lot...

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