bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №91462
 21.12.2013
A man was caught in a supermarket yesterday. He walked between the rows with the tetrapacks of juices and sprinkled them with the needle from the dropper. Further from the needle, a hammer in the sleeve and in the mouth. The stove is also transparent from the dropper. I went and saucer, saucer. No, well, he will have any avitaminosis when the puzzles pass.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №91461
 21.12.2013
With Yandex news "Unknown to the end took from the unemployed from Moscow 7 million rubles" I want to be unemployed from Moscow.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №91460
 21.12.2013
My mom troll. When she gets bored, she trolls herself. Then the neighbor's cat will lock in his kitchen and he scares her to faint when she returns home. He forgets to turn off the TV, and entering the apartment in the evening and seeing the screens on the walls, shakes from fear and calls the firefighters. Then he goes into the front box, locks the doorbell and then at night with a swallow in his hands tortures because of the door: "Who, whisper, there is ringing? I will go out!"
I love her very much. She came back to visit again.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №91459
 21.12.2013
Everything is fine, it’s been invented long ago. Men are developing, they are driving society and science, and women are raising children. Do not play.
----------
You won’t believe it, but a very small percentage of men are developing, driving society and science.
But all women should be able to give birth and raise children, even from those men who do not think about development.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №91458
 21.12.2013
to this:
God, when did dogs and cats become more important to you than people?
and
I have been sorry for animals for a long time. It’s simple: in 90 percent of cases out of 100 today, a person will tear his ass only for his own life and justice will only be sought for himself. I am not on my way with these people. When the bombs stay on the street and crawl - it means that they have crawled before, so they stayed on the street. The fault themselves. If a person is at least a little human, he will find a way out of the situation, because he can talk and socially, no matter how cool, better adapted to cat or dog. I’m not talking about young children abandoned by their parents to the will of fate. There is no God, so these children in our world are rarely happier. And such parents really want only to stay asleep bombs on the street. In the best case.

And a dog or cat, if they show you warm feelings, will never lie. never ever. They always believe, if they believe, they are never guilty of anything. Of course, you can trust them, you can deal with them.

The Misantrop.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №91457
 21.12.2013
A: "we ___ ____ ___ those who have been trained";
A: Add three missed words
B: "we will always use"

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №91456
 21.12.2013
to this...
The leader killed today: Girls, the prize will not be by the end of the year. You don’t know what the Olympics are. All the money was spent on building...
The order of the head of administration shows.

You are not alone, we are also strictly forbidden to pay the prize :(
Budgetary bodies

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №91455
 21.12.2013
Accidentally
In Moscow, unknown in Infiniti took from the unemployed more than 7 million rubles.

How well I work, no one will steal my 12,500 in infinity.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №91454
 21.12.2013
The news bomb. Chodor was released.
Aga, to the sick mother in Berlin, and the mother for some reason in Moscow. My wife is in Switzerland and my son is in America.
It exploded by explosion.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №91453
 21.12.2013
Here is this.

[20.12.13, 11:52:04] Cobbs: Today he measured his whore in length, 36 almost 37!
[20.12.13, 11:52:12] Cobbs: Now I will always be a fox to measure with a graduator

Molly, why am I so curious? Well, it was to look for a thermometer and measure how many cm there to 36-37? This psychological trauma is...

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №91452
 21.12.2013
Dear budgeters, if your head of administration / director of kindergarten / other boss has spent premiums on yourself and does not want to pay you, then it is not because the country is Olympic. He is just a fool. Call the prosecutor’s office. And the budgets for sport and education go through two ministries that are not related to each other at all, and were approved a year ago.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №91451
 21.12.2013
Mr. Cane: Advice a tough book on psychology. At one time, I read 100 pages of Freud’s “Introduction to Psychoanalysis.” Is there anything harder?
Tyler Durden: Try to read the next 100 pages

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №91450
 21.12.2013
I read on the news portal: "The Head of Khakassia urged the subordinates to prepare for the rush"
Immediately the thought: Oh! Shit, shit and shit!"

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №91449
 21.12.2013
From the discussion of The Unstoppable 3:
Seagal where? Where are those 200 kilos of pure Aikido?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №91448
 21.12.2013
Women in all their glory.
My mother is going abroad. Calling from the station.
I: What has happened? Forgot something?
I forgot to ask. How do you feel about my hair color?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №91447
 21.12.2013
I went to the post today for a mail. While standing in a row, he noticed a firm pen with a sticker glued to the table. On the white base of this same pen, the fat letters scratched: "Marina wants to go home." See who has been waiting for a very long time))))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №91446
 21.12.2013
Review of the film "Gravity"
xxx> Better without a baby. A grandmother in space is just like a grandmother on a ship, not for good, and even more so Bullock
yyy> < < > > >>

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №91445
 21.12.2013
comments to the video where Chuck Norris sits on a spaghetti between the wings of two aircraft with a group of special forces placed on his head:

OMG, that is a fake!!
If there were someone else, it could be said that it was fake. But it's Chuck Norris, and so the video was taken from the first double without the use of special effects.

The hat is removed, and the chac is pressed from above so that he can sit on the spat.)
No one helped Van Damme, so not honest =)

[ + 39 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №91444
 21.12.2013
Khodorkovsky has already flown to Germany
XXX is fast :)
XXX: I expected that.
xxx: but so, a few hours after my release... I would have been given a visa
xxx: "why did you come to our embassy so late—well, you just got rid of it—you were accepted!"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №91443
 21.12.2013
The penny. The street. The Soviet Union (who knows). Today I go home by the usual route and by the edge of my eyes I notice that something is wrong... the trees have bleached! In the middle of December! It became pleasant - how responsibly the reporting year is closed: not only did they write down, but did what was planned, and it doesn't matter when and why! You say they are stealing...

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