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[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №126303
 02.04.2016

So who is meant for Brussels cabbage?
Oh yeah, leave your hamburgers at home, here’s what I really get from them...

Well, if you really know how to cook it, and you will not get a bitter slippery ugliness. I generally love all the cabbage and colored, and broccoli, and Brussels, and colrabi, and red, and cabbage, any... But I do not like sweet, as people open their eyes when I refuse chocolate or cakes. You’re on a diet, right? No is? Why don’t you eat cake?Yes, I don’t like your cakes, chocolate, cake, candy and other nonsense! Give me the clothes! Or the cheese. But she doesn’t eat, I’m a girl, girls have to eat chocolates and cakes.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №126302
 02.04.2016
1st We are introducing a transport tax to improve roads.
2nd Taxation of gasoline to improve roads.
Three We launch PLATON to improve roads.
4 is Good roads are dangerous.
5 is We leave bad roads.

The Profit!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №126301
 02.04.2016
How I became grey yesterday:
The wife washed his son’s soft toys (including those on batteries). He hanged it on the dryer and dropped it down to the little one. I’ve always wanted to play in Silent Hill and I finally got that opportunity.
About three nights. A tense moment. In the room from the lighting - only the light from the monitor, and suddenly in one of the toys, apparently something closed (or blinked), and from the far corner of the apartment a child's voice ring: "WELCOME!!!" Let us be friends!!and "

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126300
 02.04.2016
Practice shows that taste addictions do not arise in an empty place, but on the basis of biochemical processes in the body, so that health problems are just those whom parents violently beat just to demonstrate dominance, and not the opposite. A child who has the opportunity to get sweets more than once a year in honor of the holiday and on the condition of impeccable service, but really as a daily pleasant moment, will never get stuck on them and do not rush to nausea, as on a "harmful day", the harmfulness of which is not in the products themselves, but in such a sharp and short change of diet. The rejection of a child is not mythical caprices, but the absence of either hunger at all, or the need for something specific, or banally spoiled foods and / or the inability to cook them. Your child will be healthy if you listen to his needs. All these groomed grandfathers on the forehead are a genetic memory of the times when a family has seven or ten children and if they give birth to new children, no one will care about any particular thing, and no one has the possibility.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №126299
 02.04.2016
My wife’s father was convinced that a boy would be born (the ultrasound was not done then). When he was told that his wife had given birth, he did not even think to specify - who? I went to work, my son was born! Buried three days. Three days later, colleagues ask, what was the name of the son? To which the witness answers sadly - Elvira.

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126298
 02.04.2016
What Happens If Earth's Most Powerful Nuclear Rocket Strikes the Sun?

Absolutely nothing. The Sun is a giant thermonuclear explosion, lasting billions of years. In comparison to him, all the earth bombs together are a little bit, not worthy even of a glance.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №126297
 02.04.2016
Smashed his back with white paint, and came to the universe, everyone proved to me, "you have a white back," and I said, "Better joke could not have come up with?"

They directed out what they could not prove to me.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №126296
 02.04.2016
It was 8 years ago. There were such hentai toys from 1c, text quest with pictures. Usually about the waking of a student or student. Simple toys, where the maximum showed large drawn breasts and huge squares of genitals. Toys cost 130-150 rubles and weighed usually from 50 to 100 MB.

Often a guy, 16 years old, came in with a friend, and although the guy chose the game, a friend paid at the box by presenting a passport. After 3-5 purchases, the guy began to come alone and asked to sell the game, so that a friend would not drag again. I understand, I sold it.

I was not ready for the consequences.

Time under closure, a woman with a bunch of such disks flows and begins to present, but, frankly, without hysteria, just on elevated tones and it is visible that she is introduced (I wanted to write, excited, but here it would be ambiguous)

Why are you selling pornography to children?

0 to which children?

My son bought these discs from you, and he is only 16!

Here are the checks, you got them! I will write you to the prosecutor’s office and to the White House! Why are you corrupting the younger generation? You would offer him Bach, Mozart, Wagner! He would grow spiritually. I will not leave it so! I will close your store.

A woman, like a less adequate, and a complaint to the administration is a big bump and a push from the boss.

Girl, please be calm. These games are not your son bought, but his friend some, can play gave.

Oh, straight discs 10 at a time, but you have to solve the issue somehow.

What kind of friend?

I know how tall, with dark long hair, with eyebrows in my ear.

(Description of the name, so that neither a guy nor a friend to submit, himself then a little over 20 was)

I'll talk to him, I'll talk to his mother.

0 0 0

Are there any claims to us?

No is

Going to sunset...

Three days later, this guy arrives.

Why did you make such a lie? I bought the game...

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №126295
 02.04.2016
A friend in the house had a grandmother who was nicknamed Scooter by the local youth, in honor of the German music group Scooter. And she got her nickname because of the fact that she had a granddaughter of Faina, and the grandmother, going out on the balcony, spoke with a gentle mat: "Faa...".

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №126294
 02.04.2016
The 1st of April is not funny.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №126293
 02.04.2016
It was long ago. A boy aged 9-10 with his mother.

The Small:

Modern War Fire 3 without Internet.

I give it to him while I warn my mom about the age of "18", the guy berts and heracles a box with a disk around the knee - the box is torn, the front cover is broken.

I’m in Houston, my mom too. Everything happened in 10 seconds.

With a very quiet voice:

“Mom, you wanted to buy me a game – I chose...

Then they broke the disk.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №126292
 02.04.2016
Moscow region, engineering troops, 1978-80. The concept of the army is excellent. Cabbage was fermented in "mini pools" (called "board"). They were wrapped in rubber boots (specially dedicated). No one sucked and no bull threw - what kind of cattle should be to do such a western thing to the soldiers?! The SSB.
÷÷ and
And it was done by the grandfathers, who arranged such a Dembel accord - not to eat themselves. The most pudders - and young people were chmoril, the civic life offended just the most purulent grandparents were, and they themselves so live to this day pudders. By the way, and sinking in the elevators and bottles from the balcony and smoking in the fortress - they too. And the hump is also of that breed - breeds similar to humans. It is enough to look at the rod with the stamp of degeneration. They, indeed, are not to blame, their same half-men mummy with a folder did.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126291
 02.04.2016

Stepan Razin: A young man approached the subway and asked him in English how to get to the Leningrad station.
I told him, showing on the map that he must first get to the ring, and then to the ring 1 station.

He also joyfully left and laid out his palm with his folded fingers.
I supported his mood and stumbled on her.

And then I realized that the parallel pronunciation of the "fave" meant not "give five" or simply "excellent, bro!", but the number of the ring branch.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №126290
 02.04.2016
Why am I writing this? For I am married for the third time, and from every wife I have a son.

One farmer tried to give advice on how to use the land rationally. He replied that he should not be taught, and that he had already exhausted the land on three farms.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126289
 02.04.2016
A mother-in-law takes a bottle of water from his little grandson. I ask why. "A, there’s not so much to drink!"
The child is small, hot on the street, small still in diapers. Why not? What universal argument is this "and there is nothing!"? I don’t understand if you kill.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №126288
 02.04.2016
My mom didn’t share anything with a aunt at work. It came to a verbal interruption, word for word - passed on to individuals. Aunt in the dust burns out the worst insult she could only imagine:
You look like a 40 year old!
“Thank you, it’s so nice,” Mother responds sincerely, throwing her aunt into a stupor. A poor man doesn’t know that his mother is 45.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №126287
 02.04.2016
I work as a teacher of English, the topic of the lesson: "Book worm". Out of 12 people it turns out that one girl is still reading something:
What books do you read?
Different...
And for example?
taken by the wind.
very well.
Have you read anything too?

...
What about English philology?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №126286
 02.04.2016
Exaggerated
and ==
I have critical days, as under the law of wickedness aroused to the limit, and then my husband something knocked to sleep in some households, asked him to wear pyjamas, but he had a fist. I sleep and see in a dream, as I crawl into the mountain, relying on the ski stick, but with the feeling that it is pulled by someone invisible, then I cling to it with both hands and pull to myself and I hear already on the face of "your mother, Natasha, you are happy to get rid of it! That’s a revenge, haha. I open one eye and see my poor husband and his penis, which I clamp and hold.
and ==
Go to a neurologist. Violation of motor blockage in sleep - a sign of problems with the brain

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №126285
 02.04.2016
All your teeth are white with the first of April!!! Don’t be upset, I was joking. They are yellow...

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №126284
 02.04.2016
The neighbor every day from morning to 10 p.m. enables full power of strawberries. The vibration is such that the cat, waking up, jumps up and, without descending to the floor, flies to the kitchen, where it is not so heard. We have an addition in a few weeks. I tried to talk in a good way, the answer is one - according to the law, I say, I have a full right. Yesterday I saw him entering the apartment with someone special, obviously not his wife, hugging and kissing on the go. When the next session of the Titztyc-Bidoh began today, she called him and stated that if I hear music and bass from him again, his wife will learn about some guests appearing in her absence. The problem seems solved. How do you deal with such neighbors?

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