The harder life in the country, the better the humor.

According to Rosstat "after the increase in excise duty, the liter of fuel in Russia went up to 18 copecs"
I have everything.

I love cats, keep cats houses, feed together with other dwellers of courtyards.
Now I go to the supermarket, I walk through the hall, pulling out a basket from the rack. Two men pass through the box. One of them, looking me distracted in the face, says to the other:
I forgot to buy something for the cat.
Fuck, it is so noticeable.

xxx: today found the test "What ship is your life like?" I have a cruise))) wide horizons and a lot of passengers))
I have a submarine called the Titanic.
YYY: All fucking, but there is nowhere to go.

of 1901.
The inhabitants of the village of Allswiatsky raise a petition for the closure of the operation of the treacherous society transferred to this village from Kurkino, since it has turned the whole village into a cohesive cabbage.
Future sober men, before entering their membership, dwell in the village for a few days, doing all sorts of wickednesses.

Once a long-time acquaintance called and said - a year ago you collected me a computer, could you not replace the mess with a more convenient one?
Do you read SD?
He is reading.
Do you read DVD?
He is reading.
Does not write?
Everything is written.
Hm, what is wrong?
is uncomfortable.

He brought a computer, it turned out to be a mess up the legs installed. (A system block on the table)
I turned - and the person is happy again - now you don't have to hold the disk when you insert it. He does not fall when he leaves.

You know, today is a day that shouldn’t be.
YYY: On the Monday?
XXX: 29 February

Software Center, Network and Sharing Management Center, Special Capabilities Center, Support Center, Synchronization Center, Windows Update Center... It looks like the names of occupation authorities. By the way, Wind each year builds up the official apparatus. A little more, and, entering the next Center of something about something, you will find an angry line to the window, from which you will be pushed away by a rough grandmother, outraged by saying, "Where are you going without a line?In your shameful "me only ask..." is distributed a variety of words: "All only ask! First, the priority of the request is to raise the branch, and then lie down without a line!"

List of actors without an Oscar that can be joked about now:
• Johnny Depp
Gary Oldman
• Tom Cruise
• Edward Norton
by Pavel Drevianko

The last can be a wooden Oscar

Canakau: Dance as if no one sees, sing as if no one hears.
Work as if no one is paying.

Salary in envelopes they don’t like, in bags, if you see, give them! Yes, do not give God such inflation that with a car of money to go for bread, as in Germany between the first and second world wars.
Be careful with your wishes. They have the property of being sold, so we smooth out the formulations so that there are no errors here. (And don’t confuse eikoko with evokes, pjsta :R).

The young Count grew up as a simple child: shy, weak and one-headed

Russian scientists have found out that Earthmen are descendants of aliens. Microorganisms from the meteorite indicate the extraterrestrial origin of life on the planet.

Logically, they flew with a meteorite, hit the ground heavily. So many bulldozers.

AAA: Today I’m waiting for a delicious breakfast of three letters.
BBB is juice? The Soup? The KFC?

The Mad Max won six Oscars!
What milk is this? Remake of "White Sun of the Desert"

The school has been hysterically pushing the theme of GTO since the beginning of the year. Forced to register, made lists, advocated that the points for this will be taken into account, etc.
Masha has never been athletic, she herself refused.
And Petka recorded, even penetrated, interesting type.
If anything - he was engaged in judo with us from the age of 6, this year became the champion of the school (and the school is huge, the Olympic reserve), handed over to the second youth, transferred to the senior group, here he goes to the area. The coach started chasing - every day of training for 3 hours, pulled 12 times, crosses running, skiing, 2 times a year camp military sports, well, not at all, gently speaking.
And here comes the boy and declares that he was not taken to the GTO. He has two health groups.
And determined this group some doctor from the pavilion, fig knows which. And nothing that they have medical examinations at SDJUSHOR twice a year, full? And no one would let him out of the second group before training! She says, “Mom, it’s because I’ve had injuries.
As a result, it turned out that it was not a gothic group of almost the whole class, especially athletes, but only 5 people went to take: a boy with a metabolic disorder and a lot of weight, he can not move completely, suffocates. A girl who was released from the phisras for a year. And three more, as the son expressed - well, like our Masha, lost such.
All athletes, including the Russian swimming prize winner, were bursting. Not a fool?

With Hicks:

So far it’s fashionable to say “lords” instead of “yo...” we’re going to be building churches and fighting the internet.

and Oga. And she grows the buttocks preparing for the role of Stalin.

Imagine that not all women are eager to use ALL the services of the beauty industry that are imposed on them.
Well, if she is not disturbed by her moustaches - how will you order from the inadequate with a valuable opinion to beat away? My aunt was so confused with the chicken.

Richard Retty held a record session of simultaneous play in the blind (in which a person plays without looking at the board, while the moves of the opponent are announced to him orally). He had 30 rivals, but the maestro won almost all the parties. Going home after the session, Reti forgot his wallet. “Greatly thank you! “Rethi said when he got his wallet back. I have a bad memory, it just doesn’t work anywhere.

XXX is:
Did I not tell you that my relatives’ favourite “fungal” place is, by chance, the battle place of the Second World War? And the journey for mushrooms looks like this:
Look at it, Poseidon!
Look at the big barley bone!