bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №126213
 31.03.2016
Why, why does everyone who loves the quote about "95% of people are idiots" sincerely believe that he is one of the remaining five?

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126212
 31.03.2016
Should I ask him to take a screenshot?
No, there is no screenshot to be taken. The scalp must be filmed.

[ + 23 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126211
 31.03.2016
In general, the taste and smell of coupled milk depends on the feeding and care of cows. In the village, milk was always taken from one neighbor, it was tasty and sweet, smelled of grass. But once the cow separated from her, and we decided to take milk from another neighbor. It just smelled shit, and the hell knows what.
And even the first neighbor once ate the cow, the milk was specific.

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126210
 31.03.2016
The Russian man, no matter in what ass of the world he finds himself, after a while begins to look for a strawberry. © by

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №126209
 31.03.2016
Journalists as always at the height: "The Russian government is preparing to close coal mines, writes the newspaper "Vedomosti". The Ministry of Finance is proposed to find 1.7 billion rubles by September 1 this year for the resettlement of people and their phased elimination.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126208
 31.03.2016
Drawing in the Drawing:

Food is a resource for building a growing organism or full functioning of a developed organism.

It can be treated differently: eat to taste a little, the plate looked beautiful, and if the serving is appropriate - your agon.

That's just, I think, we grew up at a time when not all parents could ask a child "fly or somewhere?"", so we were so roughly seized "resources for building the body." It is better in a cold sweat to remember a pearl sweat than to get a bunch of gastrointestinal wounds and other things.

It is now that I have learned to cook (it took me in student years to work in a restaurant), I will cook authentic pasta, Thai soups and other tasty snacks without any problems. But if I have to, I will stop on the same pearl and potatoes without any problems.

Treat yourself simpler, do not make food a cult.

BMM

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №126207
 31.03.2016
I walk along the house, suddenly the door of one entrance opens and half-naked men with a girl run out of there, things in their hands.

At the same time, the window on the 3rd floor opens and the aunt with the scream "Here you, touch" throws the mattress...

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126206
 31.03.2016
In two words.
Imagine that you are a Siddhartha. I have been in the mountains for 14 years.
A good acquaintance comes to you. He has a home for a long time.
a computer, a smart TV, a tablet, a winchester, a smartphone and a sluggish end of the flash... but the broken turns. He comes to you and stretches a video camera in his hand with the words: “Be so kind, record me a video on a video camera from YouTube.” At first I couldn’t understand why to download the video and copy it into the video camera. I asked him for a long time why he had all this. The sadomasochist thought anything, and it turns out that everything is very simple, he can’t keep the screws on the screw. And the video camera is full of videos from YouTube, recorded from the computer screen. I imagined myself in this role, that I was sitting with a video camera and recording a video from the computer screen, I was so laughed that I completely forgot that I cut my finger and my stomach hurt.

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №126205
 31.03.2016
Hello from Peter:
We also call the chicken chicken.

Question from Odessa:
Are you a chicken too?! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №126204
 31.03.2016
If I allow you to touch my hair, you are chosen.
Depending on which place.
Day 39: In the soup.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №126203
 31.03.2016
The former husband forced "there is what is and without caprices and excesses"
Then it turned out that the saved money was spent on the car and the mistress.
A child eats one oatmeal.
I got rid of this economist and I do not regret a little.
I know that in many families such savings, because the husband has lost all the money or spends on his hobbies

You are healthy eating, healthy eating.


[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №126202
 31.03.2016
Of 98% of creative children to the institute remains 2%
WOW: the rest are formatted)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №126201
 31.03.2016
The earth is the people, the sea is the sailors, the army is the generals.
Vegetables and Fruits

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126200
 31.03.2016
Announcement by Aviano:

Stangencycle
Priced
of 350 rubles.
The Seller
Larisa

Type of equipment: Beauty salon
Absolutely new!
The best assistant for the broommaker.
The spread line with graduation by mm will allow you to determine retractions, distances between the eyebrows, height, width, length of the body and tail.
With the help of the line, you can easily make spots in the shape of the eyebrows and model perfectly identical eyebrows.

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126199
 31.03.2016

About "picking forcibly", "beating urticaria", "clogging with food" speech was not possible. Everything should be done voluntarily and with a song. You want to eat, but you don’t eat. Do not want to - walk, breathe fresh air, it is also nutritious. No of violence.
Here, for example, an army for beginners - pockets shielded, movement only by building, eating only in the dining room, fresh air, physical exercises and healing and educational puzzles. Very quickly, eighteen-year-olds and older children learn (who mom and dad did not teach) to fast and silently not eat, no, eat what they give, and also get a more useful skill to eat everything that is not crooked. And no violence in terms of stopping food - a young healthy body can not do without eating. And a young healthy body is able to eat a lot of things with exceptional benefits for itself.
— — —
I am going to start collecting such amazing samples soon. To reduce the concept of “man” to the definition of “young healthy organism” and to give the example of the army is simply an apophysis of the mentality of the people, in which people are considered a resource.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №126198
 31.03.2016
What are your parents like?? to
I was thin like a stick and ate small snacks all my childhood and I was never forced and always discussed WHAT to cook? Now I am the mother of two happy and healthy schoolchildren and every day I ask "what do you cook"? What is the problem of replacing unloved strawberries with omelets, cheeses, snacks... They want pizza for dinner, that is, pizza, they want baked meat or homemade fried potatoes, so yes. I make sushi better than I ordered.
And when all the values are freely available and on order, they want less and less, and more and more often it sounds like: a cocktail of those delicate chickens, and a teflon in your delicious sauce, and your branded baking with sweets...
Learn to cook deliciously and your family will be happy!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №126197
 31.03.2016
I listen to how people communicate with children 2-5 years old. You know, even my two-year-old cat understands the basic phrases in a human way, why do you talk to children like degenerates? They, unlike cats, have to talk humanly. No, you should understand their simplified attempts to talk, but why switch to this abracadabra?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №126196
 31.03.2016
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Oh my fucking! I always knew it! What happened if not a secret?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №126195
 31.03.2016
Just a good Uncle Yandex threw up the advertisement.
A patriotic collection of smartphones. Gold and Titan. from 90 kilograms.
I see it as a profitable business, professional patriotism.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №126194
 31.03.2016
I like this story, in short.

“Mom, I don’t want an egg again today,” Masha said. "I have eaten eggs yesterday!"
“Well, what I’ve eaten yesterday!” said my mom, not stopping reading. "Eggs are very useful for you. Clean up now and eat it all!"
Masha insulted her nose, but she listened to her mother. However, soon she
He voted again.
“Mom, I don’t like this egg. It is not very delicious!"
“Delicious, delicious,” Mother firmly objected, still immersed in the summaries of important news. "Eat now and now!"
Again, a long silence, interrupted occasionally by silenced machine whispers and throats. And again :
“Mom, I’ve eaten almost everything. Could I not do it anymore?"
"Masha, why should I repeat to you? I said I needed.
You are doing it!"
"Well, ma-ama" - here Machine's voice broke to cry, - "Well, I can't eat these cloves and legs???and "

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