bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №128854
 31.05.2016
- And please tell me, in general, what strategy does the Yakutia airline adhere to right now? Interestingly, how do they formulate their strategies and prospects for the public?
- The strategy in general for AK Yakutia is simple - "J / D in the republic is not, and the area of 3 083 523 km² (this is about two and a half of Mongolia or about eight Germany) - fly and with the screw locked in the middle of the cabin, or you can carefully lock it to yourself in the... and run to the destination. This is the whole strategy.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №128853
 31.05.2016
I dreamed of a donkey without a waist.
As a ball?
No, just a thick ass.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128852
 31.05.2016
by 20471

Why do you have such a love for cash? Is it easier to steal and easier to avoid taxes? Do you have black accounting? andquot;

Why such sarcasm? It is easier to avoid taxes and steal sometimes too, it is the black accounting. Take off the pink glasses :)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №128851
 31.05.2016
Tax work with deductions:
My mom told me that a few years ago she also understood why the money didn’t come.
xxx: it was sent to the tax department. Salt, and there explained that the calls are processed in packs, and if there is a mistake in the package, it is wrapped entirely until the errors are corrected.
yyy: batch processing
yyy: all by science %)

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №128850
 31.05.2016
Canakau: The bus was late, the next half an hour to wait
Diamond: I grew up in the village, we, if I am late on the bus, then the next one will come only in autumn

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №128849
 31.05.2016
The attack was carried out in a criminal area. However, for tourists it is considered safe if they quickly pass it by bus.

This is all you need to know about security in Brazil.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №128848
 31.05.2016
By the way, everyone bought a spare apartment for the time of the hot water disconnection?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №128847
 31.05.2016
WOW: Concentration at work is when you put on headphones in the morning and work, sometimes shoot, go out on a business issue, come back, joke, work... And in the evening, when you turn off the computer, you understand: player! I should have started the play!

Oh! Yes, but the player did not turn on it!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №128846
 31.05.2016
Everything I can say about my workplace.
The head of the department resigned with the words:
Stop being foolish, it is time to make money.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №128845
 31.05.2016
The principle of quantum confusion in simple language: “Measuring the state of an object changes the properties of that object” is when my girlfriend climbs with a pen at night to check if I am worth it.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №128844
 31.05.2016
Why do you have this blue screen screensaver? Isn’t it scary?
YYY: It is terrible. But I am not afraid.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128843
 31.05.2016
There was a case in the nineties. A young man just joined the brigade, had no time to raise any money, two weeks later they were shot (the brigade war), so the funeral was lush, vodka Smirnoff, a beautiful tomb and a burial place at the cemetery. Life is so to say...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128842
 31.05.2016
The daughter graduated from 4th grade with photos, trips, packages, etc. In my time, everything was modest... Just drunk beer, smoked and in the houses!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №128841
 31.05.2016
I remembered a story that happened to a friend. Kirill, of course, is a completely unusual person in everything, but no one expected that. He left the house in shorts and shorts. No documents, no money, no phone. He returned after two weeks burned and all in the same shorts. It turned out that he went out to smoke and met friends who were going to go to the sea right at that moment. They ate, smoked and drank beer. The sun is shining and the mood is good.

Did you go with us?

I went that.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №128840
 31.05.2016
Three friends managed to catch a squid weighing ten kilos with the help of... an ordinary sweater. This country cannot be defeated. Friends Gillian (14 years old), Stella (11 years old) and Susanna (13 years old) went to catch a fish - the children of Finland are so harsh that they catch the squid with a sweater!!! to

<><><>>
I just forgot the gun at home :)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №128839
 31.05.2016
Concentration at work is when you accidentally repeat one song and only after an hour and a half you realize that it is longer today than usual.

WOW: Concentration at work is when you put on headphones in the morning and work, sometimes shoot, go out on a business issue, come back, joke, work... And in the evening, when you turn off the computer, you understand: player! I should have started the play!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №128838
 31.05.2016
The crisis. The headquarters introduced a novelty - to save paper, every time you need to write an explanatory - why you have paper and what you are going to print. For this case you are issued the corresponding amount of net paper of the corresponding format. Moreover, it is necessary to write an explanatory of course by hand and necessarily on a draft (a sheet of paper used on one side). The staff is looking forward to a similar solution on toilet paper.
And in the light of the delay in pay, the question arises – will this not be a way to control theft? If you don’t get a salary and you ask for toilet paper... From where?? to
by AntonFox

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №128837
 31.05.2016
A normal dog understands how to bring a bone larger than a doorway into a room with 10 attempts.
xxx: attention, question: from what attempt the average user will understand how to run the video when the player is deployed to the entire screen, the play button is next to the start button, and the taskbar is automatically hidden

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №128836
 31.05.2016
Employee reading the news:
Oh, good news for Alexei Viktorovich – beer helps with Alzheimer’s disease!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №128835
 31.05.2016
The girl was five years old, was in guests at the crusade. After their visit, the pudel of the cross stopped eating. One day he doesn’t eat, two days he doesn’t drink, a dog is sick. They brought the pudel to the veterinarian, and he looked at the dog, took the scissors and cut the rubber from his mouth. A black rubber from the bigode, which Irka Little wrapped on a pudel mouth.

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