bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №131522
 31.07.2016
I finished. I pulled out of the poop and put it in the poop, I continue.

The young man. The eagle. Then the wife will be treated for a vaginal infection and will not take where it came from. You would put something in the pop first, and then into your mouth.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №131521
 31.07.2016
Revenge is a dish that needs to be served cold. So, does it turn out to be a revenge?
If it is overwhelmed, then yes.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №131520
 31.07.2016
and Oga:

In the Middle Ages, laity were forbidden to read the Bible (even those who could). This is because, in the early stages of Christianity, the Fathers of the Church noticed that the ordinary people perceive the Bible literally. Blessed Augustine) and fantasizes about this bride what.
So don’t need to talk about the family of Noah and the justification of incest by the Bible.

And when it is interpreted by scattered horse men, you can draw completely opposite conclusions from it. Contradictions of texts, again, are easier to hide if people do not let the sources read. The story of Noah is not an excuse for incest. This goddess killed all whom he himself made, and left only one family to incite. Not to mention the fact that the animals then were in a pair, it turned out to be such a worldwide and all-around incest. And the kangaroo was then taken to Australia by foot from Mount Ararat. Those who wrote the Bible had no idea how the world was arranged. And if he dictated the goddess, would he not say - to have slaves is bad, to rape is bad, the earth is not 6-10 thousand, but about 4.5 billion years, and there were still dinosaurs, but there were no unicorns.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №131519
 31.07.2016
I read the post of a father whom the children removed from reading fairy tales at night because he fell asleep first. I remembered acquaintances, whose mother just glittered in the role of a reader. All her characters spoke in different voices, the intonations changed - she kept the listener in tension and exaltation until the end. But my dad read monotonously, unattractively. But not everyone was born speakers, and my mom just tried to perform this parental duty more often.



Eventually, the child frankly told her that he preferred his dad, because from his boring tales the dream comes instantly, and from her inspired declaration then not sleep for a long time, which is reflected by fatigue in the morning.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №131518
 31.07.2016
In 99% of cases, agricultural workers look like cockroaches. "The bone is wide", ahaha.

If this ‘large bone’ allows them to do really hard work that brings real benefit to society (it’s not ‘the world to decorate’), then respect them and respect.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №131517
 31.07.2016
XHH: As a people, the whole sport has been sharply challenged.
We were standing now, waiting for the green on the crossing through the prospectus: four on bicycles, three on rolls and only I, like the last, on my two.
Something strange felt in me.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №131516
 31.07.2016
<xxx> At work, I’m cuddling over lovers lying down at my desk. I throw on the table and surrounding shelves ceramic or film conders, charged to a couple of thousands. and Volt. Effect is surprising. No one expects such a small pine. The number of cases of unauthorized forging has fallen to a minimum

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №131515
 31.07.2016
I was saved by the ambulance. I’m sitting down, I’m being formed. The nurse is so depressed, there is no direct face. I feel like she’s compassionate: tired? Maybe two days at work?
She said, “Yes, and I’m not just here...
I see and really, then the thing passing by the nurses looking at her side hiccups.
And then the manager came in, began to speak to her, saying, where is it seen? They don’t even know the signs of pregnancy.
I wonder what was there? ;) I sit and listen.)
It turns out that I was brought to a woman with a sharp stomach. The woman was drinking well. She was examined by the same nurse, well, with a diagnosis of dysentery, sent to the chamber. There she gave birth :facepalm: crazy: This dysentery 37 weeks was...a boy! But the most shocked was Mommy herself... she didn't suspect... to see no dry at all, so what??? She was then taken with her child to the nursery.
forgiveness

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №131514
 31.07.2016
Here is it, the truth!
Dancing boys combine marriage with sex girls, and then both come here to read morals!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №131513
 31.07.2016
I had to fight with my husband, it didn’t work. It is his fault, which is especially offensive. He is for me:
I am borrowed from your idiotic female logic.
and I :
Go to Penny! I have no logic...
So they stopped...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №131512
 31.07.2016
60 minutes of cycling can provide your home with electricity for 24 hours

We take in the hands of the terrible enemy of all degenerates - the calculator.
A professional cyclist. It has a power of 230 watts.
In 60 minutes (this is an hour), it will produce (without stopping and reducing the momentum of the fight for ecology) 0.23 kilowatt-hours.
Take a standard cup of 2 kilowatts. He has this electricity for 5 minutes, it is twice boiled.
A lamp of 100 watts. Oh, okay, we’re economical, we have a 12 watt bulb that shines almost as much as 100 watt. This economy lamp will illuminate us for about 19 hours. one one.
and c)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №131511
 31.07.2016
By sharing joy, be prepared that jealousy will be shared with you.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №131510
 31.07.2016
My grandfather was a great joker and humorist. He went through the war and received prizes. He spoke of his deeds only with humor. I didn’t especially like to tell, but when I started to remember, my stomachs broke.

I remember once he brought us a square egg in the morning. Ordinary but square. I thought it was a joke, it wasn’t really so. Broken, and from there the yellow ordinary sunfall. Is it like that?? to

I came to school, I told the boys, the story quickly reached the teacher. I tell the teacher that yes, indeed my grandfather brings square eggs for breakfast. Everyone was surprised. Only the teacher spoke the phrase, which only after a year I understood: I wish I could see the eyes of a chicken when she laid such an egg.
The teacher promised that I would bring such an egg - believe me, and not - would consider it a simple talk. I came upset and immediately to my grandfather with the question: “How?” Grandpa laughed, shrugged his eyes and cried satisfied. Then I confessed. It turns out, the fresh only decomposed egg he carefully rolled into a child's plastic broken cube, there the shell very quickly hardened and a almost accurate square with rounded edges was obtained.
For a long time, the baby’s buttocks were sick after the morning sickness. My sister and I were chasing the chicken to get rid of it faster. They were afraid to miss and wanted to speed up the appearance of the first fresh testicles.
I came to school with a square egg, and the poop quickly heals in childhood)))

My grandfather and my sister also made 50 penny coins from an aluminum spoon. I still remember how my hands trembled when I gave the seller a coin: “All!He picked up the ice cream and ran away quickly. It was in a village where everyone knew each other. My grandfather was a joke. Sitting here sometimes on the weekend at the table under the cherry and let the spoon be knocked on one side, on the other. The forehead wipes out, hard work half a spoonful to do. The spoon became round and flat. He asked me and my sister to bring a drink. We ran into the house for a glass of cold water. And when they ran, the grandfather was already on the table with a fresh half-point and laughed.

I am 60, and I still remember how my hands trembled in the store... The shit was a grandfather, a big joke!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №131509
 31.07.2016
I like the reports of the SCR.
During a search in the rural house of the official X found millions of rubles.
Didn’t he find a house worth millions of dollars?? to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №131508
 31.07.2016
This is the IT department:
The girl enters, silently panicking her eyes around the room, apparently looking for something.
What happened to you?
Andrei has taken my computer now, and it has important information on it! I need her urgently!! to
*Andrei himself went somewhere on requests
Why took it?
He is broken!! to
We are confused looking.
I found.
It turned out that it was a monitor, which was glued a bunch of paper sticker with important records.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №131507
 31.07.2016
A warm Saturday evening, we went for a walk on the boulevards. We were attacked by agitators "Come to the elections in September and vote for our candidates!". The landing apparently landed. The first two - it is still normal, when for one short boulevard, the fourth rushes over you on a selfie - is already nervous (I, however, in general, the selfie carried over is nervous, regardless of the civil position of the invader).

The fifth and sixth agitator, seeing our faces, did not approach themselves, and the seventh, standing at the very end of the boulevard, sang to himself under the nose "Elections, elections, candidates pydoras".

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №131506
 31.07.2016
A year ago we visited an English friend with whom we had not seen for several years. Everyone could not believe that our fourth child was a boy, ohal, ahal. Then suddenly he said:
Henry VIII would be happy to be in your place.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №131505
 31.07.2016
She observed with her own eyes in the auto school: class on theory, the teacher explains the rule, and then questions the participants on tickets on this topic.
In the ticket is drawn a unilateral movement and the question: "Can you turn here?" Lady confidently: "Can!" Prepod gently asks her: "Well, how is it? Do you look at the signs that are shown here? The unilateral movement. And with a one-sided movement - what?..." Lady with indignation: "And if I need?and "

More than that! I recently saw the same man by his own eyes already driving! He left the parking lot through that exit, which was only for entry (there is a brick inside), crossed the double consistent and quietly scratched on his affairs. Probably had to be hard.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №131504
 31.07.2016
Wearing clothes on the balcony.
Running Toughs
Wrapped up and hanged in the apartment.
The Tours Separated
The child said. I am a witch.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №131503
 31.07.2016
X: What to see tonight?
and an erection ;))
X: A short story?

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