bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №117565
 20.08.2015
And how is it politically correct to say: “Pleave me to Ukraine” or “Pleave me to Ukraine”?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117564
 20.08.2015
<xxx> @ sending any data in a new window
<xxx> I remember once people wanted to send gates to mail swap from the 95th
<xxx> 20 years have passed, and Microsoft has implemented this functionality on its own

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №117563
 20.08.2015
Without any comments.
At the Pukkelpop festival in Belgium, gas exploded.

[ + 20 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117562
 20.08.2015
The thermoregulation
You can wear your own jacket in July, but it’s unfortunate for children.
We have +30, and they are poor little ones cuddling like in the winter.
My child in trousers and mommy. I met a acquaintance with the wheelchair, there the child lies in a wool costume, a hat and on top in woven socks.
I wonder if it is overheating.
Normally...
Mother in Sarasota.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №117561
 20.08.2015
I go to the website of the provider, I am looking for metis -
The M3. Packaging and Price
As usual, they advanced.
This product is often purchased:
The M2,5...

BINGO MЛЯ... not M3... and M2,5....M3 are not taken at all.

I wonder, and the hammer too often take this set???? to

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №117560
 20.08.2015
I’m in the electric car, a 9-year-old boy is sitting next to him and playing with his mother in words.
The horse! You on N!
A little boy (having read several options in mind): Narval!
Mother (laughing gently): No, the words can’t be said, only the real ones!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №117559
 20.08.2015
Conversation with Mom
I: Mom, why don’t you keep your phone in your pocket? I call and you do not answer.
Why do I rarely call?
I: They are calling!
They call even less.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №117558
 20.08.2015
Remove the wisdom tooth.
I walk in the street with the proper expression of my face.
Of course I meet my ex.
I put something in response to his greeting.

He decided to shake: - What if the member is removed from the mouth?

I spit out a bloody tampon in my hand depicting a cough.
She smiled and asked, “Are we going to kiss?”

It turns out men with a stomach can run fast if needed.


[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №117557
 20.08.2015
[9:18:58] Val: Near the shores of Florida, divers found a treasure worth $4.5 million
[9:19:13] Val: Kir, Yeez! You are lazy and don’t dive there!
[9:25:51] Dmitry: You don’t even know what the losers are, they hid it there.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №117556
 20.08.2015
xx: tried to calculate in the postal calculator a package of 65 kg from Moscow to Kaliningrad - 2361 rubles
plus a box and a label with a firm scotch - 100 p
Why is a plane ticket three times more expensive?

xy: two weeks of cold, hunger, beatings, losses and bullying. for only 2361 r and you are in Kaliningrad! For just 100 rubles we will glue your mouth with a firm scotch!
"post of Russia: now delivering not only people" )))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117555
 20.08.2015
xxx: I had such a case - I was driving in the winter in the darkness to Tver, there were women in the booth, so gently and calmly... I fell asleep, woke up from the whisper of the conductor:"You go out in a minute, get up!" Not having time to wake up, I stretch my boots in the darkness, take my bag and run out - parking 5 minutes in total. Already at the station, when the train touched, I realized that I attracted the attention of people, looked at my feet... Ha! I found out I had two other people’s boots! The left was red, the right was brown, and both were not mine!!! As I did not notice, I do not know. It is shameful. and shy:

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №117554
 20.08.2015
Once upon a time, we had one crendel, who prepared all the hot sandwiches in the morning, got a chased sandwich.

[ + 20 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117553
 20.08.2015
Calls me, a philologist, a friend, a accountant, and asks:
- Listen, I was here suddenly: we have a worker named Pysy. Does that name go down? How to write in documents? He is married, by the way. In the MN. What is "The Family of Pussy"?

I also depended...
......................
You are a philologist.

No, it does not shake.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117552
 20.08.2015
A couple of weeks ago, a cat:

XXX: How is your cat there?
Sometimes he sits on his shoulder and watches a movie with me.
xxx: Oh, at such a pace will soon begin to whisper: "piasters! I have to do it!"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117551
 20.08.2015
xxx: Interesting, but how would the events in the fairy tale of the naked king develop if the main heroine was the queen?
Yyy: It would have been "Game of Thrones".

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117550
 20.08.2015
I come home from work, a neighbor in the apartment, a gentle girl of 25 years, pushing out the tongue from diligence with her hands on the kitchen table rubber penis. Next to the "trainer" is rolled a package informing that the trainer is called "Nicolas". When asked what she is doing with Nicholas, the neighbor replies: I am updating my closet. It turned out that she worked out some technique, which according to the testimony of girls from the training "bright male orgasm" is called "shoe", because several of them after her husbands and boys bought a bunch of shoes. I love women because they are smart 😉

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №117549
 20.08.2015
I put my money in the bank,
I also bought a tank.
Then on this tank.
Take them back from the bank.

The People, 1992

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117548
 20.08.2015
I thought the subject of the naked king's fairy tale would not pass now. But today encountered an interesting impregnation ingredient for wood - transparent nano-pigments.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №117547
 20.08.2015
Comments on the article "Anti-stress magnetic plasticine".

Funny thing, you have to buy such a husband, or he bites his nails, very nervous.
yyy: My uncle was also nervous, after the divorce and new wedding became cheerful and cheerful)))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №117546
 20.08.2015
X is new
this word is written through "a"
x : ))) is new

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