My wife cut off her foot yesterday. The foot in this case is wrapped. Through the apartment the favorite moves jumping on a healthy leg.
Yesterday: I go into the kitchen, my wife splashes on the chair. He jumped up and jumped to the refrigerator.
I: Don’t jump here, I’ll get it.
Wife: I still don’t know what I want!

There are a lot of interesting and unexplained things in the world. My parrot, for example, loves to sing under the vacuum cleaner.

Just at work ask "Red is how much?" I sit on my wave and automatically answer: "FF0000", silence, I look at a colleague, he holds a switch from BP four-wire in his hands and looks at me with square eyes, says - "Red wire how many volts?"

She: in principle, I found an approach to my mother, but not very much to my grandmother (((
He: What did you find me?
She: In principle yes, but I have never used it before.
He: Khm khm... I’m going to go...
In principle, you thought right 😉

Mizantrop1986: You know, from our communication I have developed a persistent belief that you are hard to find, easy to lose, and impossible to forget.

SexyNastufffka: photo? and 8-)

Mizantrop1986: shit you are stupid, here is the photo.

By the way, in terms of anatomy, Barbie can’t walk.
YYY: Ah, I’ve heard something like that, and why?)
ZZZ: It is made of plastic.

In Africa, the man who is awarded the title of “Man of the Year” is allowed to ride a bicycle.

I enrolled in hypnosis courses. I didn’t like the first class, so I decided to pay immediately a year ahead and not go there anymore.
Are you confused with the fitness center?

The ShaunSpy?
I’m too young for that shit.

From the Mamba:
What is BDSM?
and KPSS! The GCCP! The WTC!
M: WLXM
All, I have finished.

With a friend who serves in the army:

Where are you serving?
- Irkutsk-45, only this is a secret))

I’ll tell you all the secrets, I’ll tell you the secrets.
Number of Parts?
- 39995, part in the cache secret!))

- Irkutsk-45 v/h 39995 arsenal 12 GU of the Russian Federation. Nearby cities: Cheremkhovo, Angarsk, Irkutsk. Coordinates: 53°27'23"N 102°35'51"E

It’s in the secret 😉

The chef today gave the pearl, when he taught the wisdom of the flow and exhaust ventilation.
To suck is always harder than to put in.

xxx: Recently learned, it turns out that the copyright to the film expires 70 years after the author's death, and it goes into the public domain.
yyy: Not true) it becomes public much earlier, and it is now called DVDRip.

greatdope: My new jacket is from the dawn, so there is such a small logo of a deer with branched horns over the pocket. They know the fire, their consumer...)

Comments on the six-inch phone:
Halk call me!

Zhenya
I am working hard.
by 10:17:16
I go to the swimming pool, the swimming pool, the mini-football)))

Dmitry
I think it would be better in Russian 😉
by 10:18:32

Zhenya
The Russian Boxing
by 10:19:10
Or I didn’t take the cheat.

The laws are changed more often than they are enforced.

Q: Did you wish me more and more in the new year? In the first week of the new year, I found a mouse in my apartment, a hole in my tooth, and hemorrhoids in my ass. Thank you very much!

In the subway a girl 1 and a girl 2. Discussion of summer vacation. Measured by scratches, scratches, etc.
D1: Dad took trips to the Maldives (victorious)
D2:oh (growing in the brains in an attempt to answer dignifiedly) we will also go to the islands in the summer... Canary Islands or Baku... I don't remember exactly!
Island State of Azerbaijan %

Depardieu proposed the post of Minister of Culture of Mordovia..."
The Orcs! to forward! On to France!! to