bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №134879
 17.10.2016
This is what wives do not like when the husband returns from fishing with a pack of small fish, because he is also drunk, and cats love, because he is also generous.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №134878
 17.10.2016
Houses are municipal glass packages: we have a newly built highway nearby, everyone whose apartments go to the other side, changed windows at the expense of the budget (the law obliges). Hence the natural consequence: to spend money on expensive windows for some left-wing people, of course, the city authorities did not thirst, so glass packages are the cheapest and, frankly, not the best.

The neighbor from the third floor borrowed, putting other windows at his expense. Now he has a breakdown with the home administration - how he dared to correct the municipal plan, and in general, his good windows see the port!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №134877
 17.10.2016
by C HABRA:

X: Do seniors also need to have a program that logs the keystrokes and makes screenshots and photos every few minutes?
Y: For such a salary I would keep the webcam on all day and any of their software installed :-)
Y: Lovers for a good salary to keep the webcam on don’t have to be outspoken, you know what I’m talking about.

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134876
 17.10.2016
I will also reveal to you a terrible secret as one of the trade workers. Prices on equipment in retail now - 10-20%. On accessories such as bags or batteries and all kinds of status or exclusive goods - yes, maybe 100. But not a thousand times. And these 10-20% include, in particular, guarantee service.

A good attempt, a trade worker, but not...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №134875
 17.10.2016
It is very nice to hear from the older generation of men that the grandmothers were completely overwhelmed.
and a witch no old bastard is crushed, that said the men were completely overwhelmed
Children are abandoned and no alimony is paid.
The grandmothers wore up, yes.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №134874
 17.10.2016
My friend’s classmate said that if a guy has sex with a girl in a condom, he doesn’t respect her.
She is 20, child 2.
Man is respectable.
8 = e

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134873
 17.10.2016
In some organization, colleagues liked to foolishly joke, erase from the PC correspondence for a week or rename a piece of the last 20 documents. During his absence he was constantly out of the system. A couple of times, at that time, admin came for security. I couldn’t log in to the account and just formatted the hard drive. After a couple of major scandals, the management, the administrator and I agreed that I would put the password on the operating system, but it should be written in a prominent place. This is such a stupid logic. The group learned about it in 5 minutes and began to anticipate the celebration. With the admin, the following was broken: he comes, turns his head, then looks somewhere, wrinkles his forehead. This is for the fools around. The password is written on the mouse below. The password was "in place". The password was not calculated until I was fired.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №134872
 17.10.2016
The employee made our morning.
Someone changed the column at her house on Saturday. The gas. And at the same time confused gas and water hose. As a result, water runs out of the gas pipe. Whoever has found it cannot find it since Saturday.
There are 48 apartments in the house.
A gas crane for the whole house.
The dwarf was carried.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №134871
 17.10.2016
and can you make a small upgrade on the site - add "the" before the link "new"?

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134870
 17.10.2016
There is a fundamental difference. If someone bought a car and does not want to pay for a parking space, then he is a fool, yes. But if he is willing to pay for the car seat, but there is no place for it, then who is to blame - who needs this same car?

They do not want! In principle, they do not want, they are defamed by the fact that the parking lot is not municipal, but private, they do not have the right to take money from me! It is in Moscow and in the centers of major cities there are problems with paid parking, and in nearby sleeping areas we have full of paid parking in Ulyanovsk. But the car dealers are stuck to pay up to a thousand rubles a month and burst all the passages and passages with their scratched curtains. Who are they after that?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №134869
 17.10.2016
Zzzz: I remind Omiches that there will be no more mayoral elections. Now the mayor will be appointed by a commission consisting of half of the representatives of the Governor, half of the members of the City Council.

Hence the question.

zzz: Which of these two ways of electing the mayor seems to you more reasonable?
1st Selection of the candidate by the above-mentioned committee.
2nd Draw a circle on the ground, divide into sectors, in each write the name of the candidate. Then cut off the head of the black cock and throw the body in a circle. In which sector he will fall deadly - that and the mayor.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134868
 17.10.2016
here here :
I here understood...
When moving, the barrage, accumulated during the stay in a single house - a girl for some reason does not get a fuck.

Do not carry a barbecue in a girl.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №134867
 17.10.2016
Questions on a dating site.
What is more important to you than a mail or a rugged mail?
Maria Petrovna: Young man, you have little spirituality!
Basil: - Spirituality I have before x...I, but there is no grandmother.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134866
 17.10.2016
I envy you, dreaming of high-quality wooden windows. I put myself. 30 pieces for the window gave, 12 windows in the house.. quality, dried, etc... Now I dream of changing to plastic. Two melted for the second year (the condensate got into the glass package.. and did not evaporate anywhere from there). The rest went through the cracks and the paint flattened almost everywhere.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №134865
 17.10.2016
In principle, there is the whole message - a magnificent nonsense of either a smaller, or a retrograde, or a Russian official, but the funniest of all is this part:

and
What about online shops? Yes, let’s feed the Chinese, develop their economy.
and

I'll uncover a terrible mystery, but in "normal" shops, everything is sold the same thing that feeds the Chinese. And my money, they will get it anyway. Only, buying from the Chinese directly, I will spend money on the goods + delivery, and buying in the "normal" store - I will also pay the chain of retailers interest as much as 1000 of the value of the goods. Slogans are, of course, good, but your pocket is somehow closer.
And yes, there are many different products that are desirable to buy "live". But this does not cancel the fact that even more things can be purchased over the Internet, saving your time and supporting the ruble of not chewed bidders, but those who really work: an online store that offers a favorable price by reducing costs and courier / postal services that provide real services.

[ + 12 - ] Comment quote №134864
 17.10.2016
Women with a child, you will be unliquid until you stop looking at men as a dad for ready-made children.

As a writer, he wrote with justification.
But so much shit from him.
It seems like even liquid after what time will escape, roaring towels
He can’t build relationships completely, he only sets conditions.
And in response, as always, an elderly faint man.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №134863
 17.10.2016
It won’t work:

I just barely embraced Kondraty - we sit with the child in the kitchen, we eat lunch. Suddenly I hear some noise in the room (no animals in the house). I go in, and there a radio-controlled machine runs around the room. by SAMA.

I first wanted to look for the phone of the Hunters for the guides, and then it came - a neighbor through the wall to his son bought the same machine and they play with it, and since the frequency is the same (27.145Mhz), they play two at once, without understanding :)

I will take revenge tonight ;)
(Cc.o¶¶o

When they play, they turn off.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №134862
 17.10.2016
I am sure that all the hungry and unwell students in the next life will become domestic cats!

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №134861
 17.10.2016
In both cases, the result – purity and eating – the men had, but they need to do so that “Masha took care.”

So Masha is still busy... before folding the products in the multivark, they need to be washed / cleaned / cut. in the dishwasher and laundry machine to be loaded / unloaded. I think for the working machine of these заебов quite enough. And a good husband needs a good, beautiful, cheerful wife, and not a messy messy Masha. Therefore, good husbands try to spend a minimum of time on the wardrobe, equipping the apartment with all kinds of useful devices, so that their wives spend the most time on them))) and from the spoiled wives they run to the spoiled mistresses very often.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №134860
 17.10.2016
How interesting it is. If a man raising his child is looking for a woman, then "a second mother." Try, as a potential partner, to say that you will be treating neutrally positively, BUT! Not to get confused under my feet and live as you want not to bother. And the man, of course, first of all should pay attention to her. I’m not even asking what the man will answer. What does society say about such women? In the same stories as he describes?

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