bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135085
 22.10.2016
In this case, the wife goes out sharply. Worked somehow with us one such mademoiselle, a week before corporations and holidays began to wonder if she could not attend this event. I let go and do.
and ==
was released? Did she do such a favour - released from corporations? It was not worth it, but just once to resolutely send you with all the corporations and holidays, once this attitude.
It’s disgusting to call a woman “Mademoiselle” because she doesn’t want to participate in this corporate idiotism – it’s a kind of corporate brain. Most of all, I am stunned by the fact that there is even such a job "office manager", the essence of which is the organization and support of the "corporate spirit" with such idiotic methods.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №135084
 22.10.2016
Why not hang an information banner at every airport, port and train station: "You go to a foreign country - leave your habits and traditions at home."

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №135083
 22.10.2016
The colonization of Mars.
Scientists around the world have asked how to create an atmosphere on Mars.
European scientists have come up with something like placing columns across Mars.
The principle of operation - (let's miss the entire scientific part) each column will be equipped with a solar battery and will emit charges in the form of small lightning, lightning in its own.
The line will charge the atoms of water molecules and thereby heat,they will rise up to them and when they reach saturation will form clouds and clouds.Radius of the 1st column about 100-150m.price and delivery and arrangement of each column in the right place is also not a small problem,if you force the columns the entire planet then through 15 years on it will be the first clouds.This at the same time, moisture and ice will be sufficient on the planet itself.And it is possible to get the atmosphere.
The answer of Russian scientists to solve this problem:
To deliver several hydrogen bombs to the planet and explode them in squares, the dust will rise into the air which will close the planet and the greenhouse effect will be achieved, which in turn will trigger the process of heating the planet and the formation of all the moisture on it into clouds in 3-5 years, there may be an atmosphere on it.
The Zombie of the Last Martian Soldier.
Wau-or we will start the first space, and the Russians will be guilty as always))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №135082
 22.10.2016
A real case: A foreign student asked me what Camalin is.
Where did you hear that?
Well in the song: Kalin, Kamalin, Kamalin, Kamoya

of stones burn grosslarnakh

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №135081
 22.10.2016
Today, the largest DNS provider in the U.S. has been purchased from radio stations and refrigerators. How terrible to live.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №135080
 22.10.2016
Discussions of believing cosmonauts at the ISS on the hub:

GreatRash: It would be fun to see a Muslim on the ISS: you fly like this, and here the hop is a prayer, and the vanity begins... the carpet is not completely dispersed, Mecca is constantly moving...

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №135079
 22.10.2016
Five years ago, there were normal e-cigarettes, which gave a little smoke (pardon, steam), no more than ordinary papyrus, and did not disturb anyone. What inflamed consciousness invented these infernal units, instantly submerging the whole street in the stinking (pardon, aromatized) fog? Why can’t smokers find a way to get their dose of the drug without entering anyone’s personal space with smoke, steam, or smell? Why not a drinking solution of nicotine, a chocolate bar with nicotine, subcutaneous injection, a enema finally?! There are so many ways, you just have to set a goal!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135078
 22.10.2016
The counting

Donzova can be read, but only once and the first few books - I remember, cuddled like crazy, it is really funny... but then it becomes boring, everything repeats.

Coelho read once when a colleague forced me into a book with the words "read! It is such! So is it!" I read it and was surprised – what is it??? Later I read somewhere a beautiful definition that put everything in place: Coelho is a philosophy for blondes.
I’m a blonde, but not that much.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №135077
 22.10.2016
+ in the collection, if there is no more:

The Bloomberg Index

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135076
 22.10.2016
Many of us have encountered or at least heard about the “presence effect” – when non-working equipment/programs start to work at one approximation of the “offset”.
A girl brought a power bank (washed in a cage and dried on the battery for a couple of days), I ticked - is expected to not work. I understand and not badly cut about the metal body. The batteries and payload are sadly oxidized a little more than entirely. Sitting the bleeding finger, I tick again. The LCD screen of the bank joyfully shows full working capacity. A week without complaints. Now he has the nickname "Zombie", well, and I have no other than "Necromancer with a drum".

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №135075
 22.10.2016
Well, here is a new deposit from the Ministry of Labour: they are going to introduce a fine of 20,000 from officially unemployed. I understand: it’s because of the annoying news that another unemployed man has been caught on a lamuorgini for many millions of dollars and has stolen hundreds of thousands of euros from his car. But most of the people on such "ma-squatches" no way pull. Where does the unemployed get money?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №135074
 22.10.2016
"Love, let's get a mouse, she's so cute, and there will be no allergies to her.
“Let’s go, only my mom is afraid of mice, I’m afraid she won’t go to us then...
We’ll get a lot of mice. We will have a mouse house.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №135073
 22.10.2016
I am ashamed to go out to the store with my wife.

How many women are embarrassed to go out with their husbands?
or men do not get old, all the beautiful people who look after themselves, never get sick and never lose an erection to death.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №135072
 22.10.2016
>>> The Russian city of Krasnodar was played by African Americans.

It is there in the USSR that they are African Americans, and here in Russia they are called Negroes. We have never oppressed Negroes with slavery, so this word is not a sign of discrimination.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №135071
 22.10.2016
My father asked, holding a bag of sausages in his hand:
I’ve been there for so many years, but what kind of bird is this?
What a?
- It is written there "meat of bird of fur"

And here I understand that the essence of the mechanical decomposition of the meat of the bird...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №135070
 22.10.2016
Not repeating is dangerous.
A friend told me how he raised his neighbors. They had a dog, but nobody wanted to walk with her, they just opened her door to the entrance and she was joking on the site. So he gathered her fucking, knocked on the door and when they opened, he threw them fucking into the apartment and spoke: "Look, your dog has lost!" They are now walking with the dog." from Yapa.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №135069
 22.10.2016
I need funding.
1 euro is sufficient for 1 euro
When can you translate?
ZZZ: in 5 minutes
zzz: translated
zzz: "I need 1k euros as a first step"
XXX: Okay I’m starting
Zzzz: I’m waiting for a new version.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №135068
 22.10.2016
When you’re around, I’m getting all wet.

yyy: Is it because of my pumped muscles and burning desire eyes? and ;)

XXX is no. You spit when you talk.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135067
 22.10.2016
D: Fuck, we are not perfectionists.
D: because we are guided by the principle "as long as the other also has everything fucking, I do not have everything so fucking, and in general everything is normal".
D: Perfectionism (c)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №135066
 22.10.2016
I imagine: a guy with a grandmother reading Donzov or Kaeljo and a younger twelve-year-old sister, fascinated by vampire sentimentalism, invited such a literary-trepidant lady to her, she saw in the sorting a book of any set and fell all into a deep fainting)))

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