bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №118536
 17.09.2015
Application to the help desk: In the secondary room, a specific sound of electrical current in the wires!

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118535
 17.09.2015
At work, a colleague told me that he was defeated by crows. One of his friends brought him a ship syrene. Placing the syrene in a box, he buried it by 1.5 meters, stretching the wire from it into the house. It turned on before leaving. When he returned for the next weekend, his neighbor began to tell him that something strange was happening in the village. The fact that crows, mice and rats fled not only from him, but also from the nearest neighbors is half the matter. The worms dispersed and the chickens in the village stopped carrying.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №118534
 17.09.2015
"... for girls, fortunately, do not write apophers "if a man refuses - it is he so cuddly, boldly rape"

Why, we are rubbed all our lives, to say, men want only one, you need to be beautiful, and he will immediately turn on the motorcycle, and then the matter of technology. And then suddenly it turns out that in all your tricks you are not needed by the vast majority, you can at least get rid of it, but at the stage of closer communication everything is likely to collapse because of something less superficial. A loved one may not have a desire. he is banally tired - no, well, of course, you can seduce him, only the quality of this process is quite strange. Do you think this is logical and understandable? So, in the shell, do the adult grandmothers tell these young fools?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №118533
 17.09.2015
I work in an elite cosmetics store. A lot of clients. But there is one special. Very bright, extravagant, not to take the eye off. But nobody knew her name. In 3 years, I have never filled a discount card that promises a large discount. In her next parish after 20 minutes of warning, as it was advantageous, agreed to receive her. She filled and left. I looked at the address and name. Bakarubla Street and the name Anekontrol caused a storm of judgments about the fact that such a spectacular woman must have an unusual name and possibly Eastern roots.
This evening we started:
My name is Hѣ
Name of Control
of my purchases.
Below was the adjective: Xѣrѣyou are the universe of harmony for you, not what you thought.
Yes, such an effective woman can also troll.)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118532
 17.09.2015
I sit with my child in the kitchen and drink tea. The child looks out the window at the rain that has been raining for the second day and melancholy says, “Yes... if this goes on, you will have to buy contraceptives... WTF?! O_o I am in shock trying to keep the poker face calm and cautiously ask:"And why?" The child, looking at me with innocent eyes, says:"Well why? I bought condoms, put on ceds and you can walk peacefully on the lounges!"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №118531
 17.09.2015
A loved one may not have a desire. He is banally tired.
and a woman can't, she can't help, she can't help, she can't get tired

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №118530
 17.09.2015
Nick> have you seen many new IDEs now?
Gluk> do you have such a sham that he doesn’t know?
Gluk> Connect the USB and wrap the insulator
The burned satha controller is not a reason to throw two 2400 cores with a pair of frames, especially considering that this is a dead standard and it will not be moved anywhere.
Gluk> yeah, you even have a 100% rottenness not a reason to...
Gluk> in the future you would even collect photons after annihilation ;)

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118529
 17.09.2015
XXX: Is it not us?
YYY: AAAA, my brain, my eyes, say it’s a mistake, AAAA

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118528
 17.09.2015
and kissing
As far as I remember, if you know the CVV along with the card number, then steal money from this card is like not doing. And if I still know my name, surname, age, e-mail and the validity date of the card - I would think sharply about this form, and I would refuse sharply to fill in something there. There is always a separate postal index.

Alexander Myodov
You have just revealed to all of us a little-known fact: the data that is typically entered in the form for entering payment data allows you to make a payment!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118527
 17.09.2015
of St Petersburg.

In the Russian police for a long time decided where to place a transvestite - in a female or male SIZO.
There was a risk that "camera companions may not resist such beauty."In the end, despite the fact of storing drugs in a large amount, the detainee was released home, taking a subscription for non-exit from him.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №118526
 17.09.2015
Transmission "How it's made?" ("How it works"), issue on the metro of St. Petersburg. Workers are collecting huge elements of the tubing of the underground tunnel under construction. The text of the rector behind the frame: "...and now they carefully grab the details with the screws".
And on the screen at this time, the worker's plumage, cheering joyfully, with all the hardship cheats a squat on the bolt.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118525
 17.09.2015
Updated Yandex Navigator. Now they have a voice set, like Google, everyone knows what to say Okay Google to make it work. With Yandex it’s easier, you just have to say "Yandex" – and it opens the voice set. But we live in Russia, as much as I did not say, I did not shout "Yandex!!!" is not included Eventually "Sly-y-ish, Yandex" - the voice set immediately turned on. A Russian navigator.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118524
 17.09.2015
Warsiq: Yes, and there is no such thing as two methods of multiple inheritance resolution.
BlackCat: In fact, the OOP can also be implemented on the assembler. Only that makes no sense. So if there is nothing in the piton, then there is no need.
Diff: for example, compatibility between versions. Who needs it yet?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118523
 17.09.2015
The IBM Conference.
75 terabytes of data are generated every day.
Comrade quietly: because stupid puzzles photograph their breakfast

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №118522
 17.09.2015
From The Stranger:

He listened beautifully again. The uncle who stood next to me spoke so loudly and expressively on the phone, telling me about the construction of some object, that I was almost stifled by the fury and laughter when I heard the following phrase:
And give this fool that I will not pay for the hospital. You should have invented, to arrange a fence on the gasoline!


[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №118521
 17.09.2015
XXX: The courier now easily and unforcedly brought under his mouse a closet in a flat package, as if it was a folder with papers. The closet weighs 23 kg.
YYY: In his free time, he wears a mask, a strange suit and saves mankind.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №118520
 17.09.2015
Thieves and thieves, you are the shit!! I can’t call it normal now ?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №118519
 17.09.2015
“Now the barrel decorates the top of the Elbrus and is part of the monument installed on it.”

“No, no... But you’d probably want to know where I got the clavecin from. Imagine it was taken by the alpinists. They set a record and pledged to drag onto our mountain clowns. There are a lot of unexpected objects at the top. The mountaineer thinks to climb up to us on a motorcycle and here we have a motorcycle, although damaged... Guitars are hit, bicycles, busts are different, anti-aircraft guns... one recordman wanted to climb on a tractor, but the tractor did not break, and he scattered the asphalt slide. If you could see how he suffered with this catch! How I tried! But he didn’t get anything, he didn’t get to the snow. Fifty meters did not reach, or we would have had an asphalt slide.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №118518
 17.09.2015
This

Stop chasing the buttocks!! This is a quiet bedroom area. And if you light up the road with an iPhone, you can be robbed in any area.

Good attempt, but no...

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118517
 17.09.2015
I got those caring stuff. Then take gloves, then do not lie long in the sun, then parachute on the day...

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