bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №77374
 13.02.2013
What an ordinary user can and can’t do. All of this "admin" is an analogy when a technician is invited to the organization, and it begins to hit everyone like you can't wipe out your own table? Or do you find it difficult to wash the floor under your chair?
I am an administrator myself, but never understood the complaints of users who pay money for reinstalling the screw or installing a codec. And if you are asked to do this in a loathing way, then you are loathing yourself, and you can’t ask the question of paying hard. There are scammers in every profession, don’t think you’re outstanding here, friends.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №77373
 13.02.2013
Women's marriage announcements of Russian newspapers until the 17th century:

"Beautiful, with mermaid eyes, all shaken of nerves and originality, calls for a celebration of the life of an intelligent, very rich gentleman, capable of a strong bright feeling; the goal is marriage."

A young independent widow, beautiful. From an aristocratic family, calls for a happy marriage union. Don’t be ashamed of distance. preference to the military.”

"Wives in the house are looking for decent, young and educated, at least without the means."

A young girl who has just finished high school wants to marry a lonely or childless widow with a fortune. No age to be ashamed.”

20 years old, an educated lady is looking for a millionaire husband, surely an elderly man, to avoid infidelity.

A poor but honest 23-year-old girl, beautiful and intelligent, is looking for a man who would save her from need and wickedness, where she is pushed by a difficult life. He will be grateful to his future husband.”

In order to avoid unnecessary correspondence, a photo card is desirable, which I will thankfully return. For the payment of correspondence, please send a postal mark. I am waiting for a savior, honest, noble and selfless, I will be a faithful wife.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №77372
 13.02.2013
We have all "unnecessary" resources and devices (flash drives, etc.) blocked at work.
I go into the office to the engineer, and he sits with a satisfied mine, pulls, headsets dressed like a DJ (one ambush on his ear). I go to see why he is so mysterious, and this serious uncle opened the google translate, entered there "Oppan, Gangnam Style" and rhythmically presses the button "Listen".... It turns out not bad especially in the Op-op-op part, and then slowly somehow, with an accent.
This is me to the fact that even in the toughest company, you can find the opportunity to do hernias.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №77371
 13.02.2013
I work in a flower delivery service. A guy calls me.
- "Help the bouquet on February 14 to choose."
I - "Do you want to congratulate a girl?"
The guy (the voice with the shade of blin, women, how you got it") - no, it's she wants me to congratulate her.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №77370
 13.02.2013
About the Carnival Drifting Ship:
From the unwashed cucumbers, the pods do not cease to tremble, and the wicked.
Why not wash them in Okinawa?
Did you see the height of that thing?
- It's not in the height of the board, but simply they don't know what an avosca is, dropping which on the rope you can wash the cucumbers.
If you keep it longer, you will get less salt. and :)

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №77369
 13.02.2013
Following the Nigerian prostitutes, who said that if their national team reaches the World Cup final, they will serve the national team’s players for free for a week. Russian homosexuals have said that if our team fails to go to the final, they will be forced to serve the players for a month.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №77368
 13.02.2013
Sweet dreams, the culprit of my long sleepless nights
Drone...?
Is it DR? What is DRO?? to
Do you test the gun in the game?

[ + 149 - ] Comment quote №77367
 13.02.2013
The admin!
Thanks for the smiley when you press again!!! to
was missing. The Truth. (^_^)

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №77366
 13.02.2013
XHH: Shortly, the suppliers brought us catalogues to the office. Normal such a look catalogue with the emblem of the supplier, pleasant green color. below the inscription 1/2013 (type first quarter 13 years) and 1/4 of the cover of the catalogue occupies the winter such a beautiful landscape! Berries in the snow, snow, a small flooded path... all kind of normal, BUT! Under one of these bushes sits a maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! to
Fuck you, fuck you, company!
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №77365
 13.02.2013
Divisi0n_by_zer0: In hell there is a special place for accountants who send details in electronic form with a picture

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №77364
 13.02.2013
In vain you argue with cats...I consider them very useful animals. Here is, for example: when I eat, the cat comes out on its knees, and if something falls out of my mouth, the cat eats. After that, I feel like a feeder, and the cat does not need to be fed, and the wife does not bother that I crushed!! to

[ + 20 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77363
 13.02.2013
He kisses me,
He says he loves.
I am dead forty.
He is a bit strange.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №77362
 13.02.2013
Conversation on TV:
XXX is Hi. You’re a computer expert, you won’t tell me why my laptop is running slowly.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I’ll tell you, I’m a telepath today, but before I answer you, I’ll give you an answer.
The question. You are a mechanic?
XXX is yes.
Yyy: - I have a car, why does it eat slowly, can you tell me why?
XXX: I have to look.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
XXX is taken. In about an hour I will meet,

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №77361
 13.02.2013
Alina: please give me a big fun cup for Dr.
Alina: and that she was really big
Alina: and without a member on the picture
And without breastfeeding!
And no ass!
Dmytro: You just described the girl Влада

[ + 14 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77360
 13.02.2013
I saw in the tram "Respect Fat Fight for the Pony"

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №77359
 13.02.2013
Cuban cigars are cheaper than Chinese cigars.
They say they are often fake.
XXX: How is it?
yyy: not on the hip of the virgin twist)

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №77358
 13.02.2013
On YouTube, it doesn’t matter which video, top comment:

Troll riding on hamsters snowman not knowing the Lithuanian language Hitler wrapped table vitamin pack children therapist
Laikaite, this is so that the Americans don’t hide this news

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №77357
 13.02.2013
From the textbook of physics: "... Figurally speaking, living organisms are animated water."

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №77356
 13.02.2013
Love is
I bought you a card: 3
It was difficult, really.
Choose something not sweet, but harsh!

Constantine is
"Well, type, I love, yupta..."

Love is
and a type of heart of semiconductor

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №77355
 13.02.2013
In the live broadcast of American television, hackers launched a voice warning about the “zombie apocalypse”:

Kat12.02.2013, 16:09
You can’t give people hope and then take it away, saying it was a joke xD

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna